Last night, I went to see The Shining at the Cinarama Dome in Hollywood. Its an old art-deco style theater with the big velvety curtains and a guy that comes out and introduces the movie and whatever. Hit the lights bitch, let's get this fucker rolling!

Ok, so at first I notice the rad drive up the mountains, shot from a helicopter. Fuck, I want a helicopter so bad now. During the credits they listed one of the actors as Scatman Crothers. Automatically I knew this was gonna be a cool movie. I didn't know who he was, but I assumed it was a black guy with some flavor. I was right, and I would definitely hang out with him, he was cool as shit. Ok, so this creepy fuck, Jack Nicholson, gets a job taking care of this huge ski lodge/hotel/resort place. I'm not really sure what his job is, I guess just stay there, make sure it doesn't burn down. Maybe flush the toilets once in awhile so the gaskets don't dry up. Seems like a sweet gig to me. This was before the internet or fun, so it's pretty much the best job ever.

Meanwhile, his ugly wife with big teeth and his creepy kid are in Denver or Boulder, some city over there. Right there I knew they probably wouldn't get killed because kid murder is too much and only hot chicks get iced in these kind of movies. But I was kinda bummed because I knew right away I wasn't interested in seeing this girl's boobs later in the show.

Let's fast forward because basically everything for the next hour is foreshadowing to the main part of the movie. It's not that it wasn't really interesting, because it was, and I loved looking for symbolisms and the score was really fucking good. Glad I decided to see this in the theater with all the speakers, really added to feel.

So shit started getting crazy when Jack went to the bar and ordered a bourbon on the rocks. By the way, that bartender sucks dick because he poured him some Jack Daniels, which is not bourbon, its Tennessee sour mash. So stungun for him and Jack for neither of them knowing the difference. And what's with the "All work no play makes Jack a dull boy"? Your job is easy, its looking at that horseface wife and having a creepy kid that would annoy me the most. At least, they had that scene where the hot naked chick gets outta the bathtub. That was hot. I'm glad it was full frontal and it wasn't like a dark shadowy sex scene that you sometimes get, and you can barely see a nipple. This was well lit, in slow motion, very sexy. Then Kubrick, that motherfucker, ruins it when she turns into a old moldy corpse. Oh yeah, that other scene, where the guy in the wolfbeardog outfit is fucking that guy in the room. WHAT THE FUCK! Close the damn door ya filthy freaks. Sooo anyways, Olive Oyl is trying to fight off Jack who has completely lost his shit. Man, she is so mopey and always crying, and how the hell does she even get that hit on Jack with the baseball bat? I swung wiffle ball bats when I was 5 years old better then she does.

Ok, So Scatman is living it up in Florida, when he telepathically finds out shit is going down up in the mountains, so he heads up there, takes him for fucking ever. Then when he finally gets there, he tip toes around looking for anyone around. If it was me, I'd be running around flipping on light switches all frantically, it took me all damn day to get there! I had to borrow a damn snowcat and everything. PS, snowcats look like fun, I want one. That and a helicopter, with matching paint jobs. Ok back to the story, I'm leaving lots of parts out, I know, but there is too much details and shit going on. It makes for a good plot and movie, for sure. Now, when I saw that huge ass shrub maze, I knew that it was going to play a part in the movie. Do you know how fucking hard it is to make one of those? Not to mention, they are creepy, so when that creepy kid ran in there, and his psychopathic dad lurching after him, it all made sense. For the record, I'd like to say, that kid isn't smart enough to take backward steps in the snow to throw off his pops. Sorry, too brilliant, stick to being weird and telepathic.

Alright that is all I'm going to say about the plot. But I do have a couple observations. I love Jack Nicholson as an actor. He played one of my favorite characters in one of the movies I've actually seen before in the Joker from Batman 1. However, I didn't realize how much of an eyebrow actor he is. I coined the term eyebrow actor after Skeet Ulrich who is a terrible actor but makes enough eyebrow gestures to get acting gigs. Jack Nicholson has great eyebrow gestures on top of being a awesome actor, so props to him. Another observation was that Wendy Torrance looks a lot like Mel Gibson's ex-wife, the one that he went off on, on those recordings. Makes me think is Mel Gibson trying to be like Jack Torrance, or do chicks that look like that, turn dudes into psychopaths...I wonder...