I live 14 year old sean's dream life.

I asked the concierge at the hotel for a newspaper in the morning and the poor man, hard of hearing, brought me the Los Angeles Times.

Great excuse to never wear a bike helmet.

Not that I've ever worn one before. 61 stitches, 4 fractured ribs, two broken bones, a permanent metal plate and rod in my wrist, sure, but i'm helmet and head injury free. well serious head injury free.

Everything you need to learn about life, you can gleam from reruns of the twilight zone. For example: Don't tell your neighbors you have a bomb shelter.

I had to fly today. I always hate flying but today really sucked. Is checking every single carry-on bag for toothpaste and contact lens solution really the best idea anyone has?

They made the seven year old girl in front of me throw out her pack of trident splash gum because the gum has a delicious strawberry gel filling.

Really? Thats the plan?

My favorite thing on suicidegirls is the newswire articles that fearthereaper writes for the politics section. He says something stupid and inflammatory that he doesn't really believe and then you get to read five pages of irate retarded people screaming about how he's evil and should be fired and how they're canceling their memberships. It's like the blog version of the phil hendrie show.

There really are fewer things funnier then the outraged humorless internet message board poster.

Fractured ribs hurt. But you don't have to wear a cast around your torso thats a plus. Also: I am for the third time in my life reminded in a graphic way why people wear bike helmets. People smarter then me, unfortunately.

I'm not touching the viccodin, because if I can't learn anything from my own repeated mutilations at the hands of my cannondale, I can at least learn from the heartfelt confession Mathew Perry related to the fine People Magazine editors about the crippling effects of perscription drug addiction.

You are an idealist, and I pity you as I would the village idiot.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

But everyone loves a bunny.

http://stuff.sebisworld.com/I_use_magic.mov