STORYTIME WITH PRINCESS
THis is story about Deedee Cannons, a very special mermaid. She had lost her keys. But these were no ordinary keys. These were very special mermaid keys, and they unlocked something very special.
Deedee Cannons was very sad and very drunk, and very very not good at finding things right now.
In fact her best attempt at finding these keys was to pointing a musket at the fridge and swearing at it in french.
Just then her friend came over, Bastard the Penguin, back from vandalizing walrus.
"Yo Martha..I mean Dee Dee! It is I Bastard the Penguin, back from vandalizing Walrus! What the fuck are you doing ?"
"Awsshit<sob> Hiiii Bastard...I can't Findmy <blubbler> keys ... I think they are <sniff> in the fridge , but I can't get it open.."
"Oh" said Bastard the Penguin. "Isn't that the fridge you threw your keys in and filled full of cement, so you would never lose those keys?"
"fuck" said deedee cannons. "you are right". "I guess I have not lost my keys now, because I know where they are. But I can't use them so they are lost. I'm very confused now>"
"Lets start a band" said Bastard the Penguin.
And so they did. And they were very famous , and you would of heard of them, if some utter cunt had not gone back in time and rewritten the timeline so the beatles happen instead.
THE END
Christchurch is the town I grew up in. It had an earthquake 2 years ago and it's still fucked up. Like the CBD still has a logo zone and they are still pulling down buildings that it turns out are fucked because of liquidifaction in the foundations.
(liquidifcation is where a fine silt rises from beneath the ground and buries or unstablizies stuff. There is a entire suburb that can't be rebuilt because the ground is now complete shit for building on. So wa-hey a new park. Also one guys car went into a crack, silt poured in and suffocated him)
Anyone I believe Japan lost entire towns, like more than 1 , and has managed to rebuild them all.
Basically all the insurance companies are either going bankrupt or trying to not pay, or their underwriters are not paying. Also the EQC (which is like a national earthquake insurance for everyone in the country) only had so much money because various governments cutting funding to it because hey when's a earthquake gonna happen? We only have a massive fault line running along the length of the country and another one just off shore.
ANyway most of the Christchurch skyline has gaps in it like a methheads mouth. Heaps of the classic landmarks are gone and a good portion of the iconic buildings, and theres empty lots everywhere.
...
...
Fuck my hometown.
(liquidifcation is where a fine silt rises from beneath the ground and buries or unstablizies stuff. There is a entire suburb that can't be rebuilt because the ground is now complete shit for building on. So wa-hey a new park. Also one guys car went into a crack, silt poured in and suffocated him)
Anyone I believe Japan lost entire towns, like more than 1 , and has managed to rebuild them all.
Basically all the insurance companies are either going bankrupt or trying to not pay, or their underwriters are not paying. Also the EQC (which is like a national earthquake insurance for everyone in the country) only had so much money because various governments cutting funding to it because hey when's a earthquake gonna happen? We only have a massive fault line running along the length of the country and another one just off shore.
ANyway most of the Christchurch skyline has gaps in it like a methheads mouth. Heaps of the classic landmarks are gone and a good portion of the iconic buildings, and theres empty lots everywhere.
...
...
Fuck my hometown.
STORY TIME WITH PRINCESS!:
There once was a mermaid called MArtha Catapults. She live in a cloud because she was made of hotpink lightning bolts. One fine early autumn day, someone knocked at her cloud door. "Who is that knocking at my door?" she said. "It is I , your merry companion and comrade in mischief , the Churny Burny bird!"
said a voice, who actually was the Churny Burny bird. "Lets get fuccccccked up!" said the bird, who did not believe in gender "Hells yeah!" said Martha Catapults, and she invited the bird in.
They proceeded to get fucked up on space-tea and thunderpies, until they could barely walk and merely leaned badly against things and attempted more or less successfully to replacing their addled vocabulary with wild gesturing.
"Whooooooooooaaaeeeooeoe" said martha, falling over an antique ming vase that was cluttering up the place. "Churny Burny! we needs some deep fried creme eggs, coz my face is numb and .... shit"
"thats.... a such good ideas Martha. Help me up from this table accidents and we'll get in the moon car and ...yeah"
So after various crashings, flailings, and splayments they managed to get into Martha's mooncar.
"You know ..." said Martha, trying to find her Prismeon wand to start the car, "I'm changing my name! I wanna be DeeDee Cannons" . "Shit , you always been DeeDee Cannons to me" said the Churny Burny bird.
"what?" said DeeDee. "No I ,meean that is like it's always been, like no it's right but I know.." said the bird.
"But.. I.. oh you mean.. oh! "
"thats it.. I think.."
"yup"
This tedium continued for awhile but eventually the sassy duo managed to stop being such fuck-ups enough to get the Moon-car started.
VAZZZZooooom went the Moon-Car, down down down, through the Habitium Cirruculumus , and vuuuuub along the tops of the gizzard trees, and waaaaaaathomp.
The moon-car was parked outside the Disco-snakes Fry-porium.
And the Churny-Burny bird and DeeDee Cannons got out of the Moon-car, and got a nice booth near the fake flowers, and ordered deep fried creme eggs, hamburger buns, fake grass and chups. They ate themselves up to the very fringes of a chasmous food coma , couldn't find the wand, and had to sleep in the car.
THE END
p.s the Disco-Snake was a ghost, motivated by caring.
There once was a mermaid called MArtha Catapults. She live in a cloud because she was made of hotpink lightning bolts. One fine early autumn day, someone knocked at her cloud door. "Who is that knocking at my door?" she said. "It is I , your merry companion and comrade in mischief , the Churny Burny bird!"
said a voice, who actually was the Churny Burny bird. "Lets get fuccccccked up!" said the bird, who did not believe in gender "Hells yeah!" said Martha Catapults, and she invited the bird in.
They proceeded to get fucked up on space-tea and thunderpies, until they could barely walk and merely leaned badly against things and attempted more or less successfully to replacing their addled vocabulary with wild gesturing.
"Whooooooooooaaaeeeooeoe" said martha, falling over an antique ming vase that was cluttering up the place. "Churny Burny! we needs some deep fried creme eggs, coz my face is numb and .... shit"
"thats.... a such good ideas Martha. Help me up from this table accidents and we'll get in the moon car and ...yeah"
So after various crashings, flailings, and splayments they managed to get into Martha's mooncar.
"You know ..." said Martha, trying to find her Prismeon wand to start the car, "I'm changing my name! I wanna be DeeDee Cannons" . "Shit , you always been DeeDee Cannons to me" said the Churny Burny bird.
"what?" said DeeDee. "No I ,meean that is like it's always been, like no it's right but I know.." said the bird.
"But.. I.. oh you mean.. oh! "
"thats it.. I think.."
"yup"
This tedium continued for awhile but eventually the sassy duo managed to stop being such fuck-ups enough to get the Moon-car started.
VAZZZZooooom went the Moon-Car, down down down, through the Habitium Cirruculumus , and vuuuuub along the tops of the gizzard trees, and waaaaaaathomp.
The moon-car was parked outside the Disco-snakes Fry-porium.
And the Churny-Burny bird and DeeDee Cannons got out of the Moon-car, and got a nice booth near the fake flowers, and ordered deep fried creme eggs, hamburger buns, fake grass and chups. They ate themselves up to the very fringes of a chasmous food coma , couldn't find the wand, and had to sleep in the car.
THE END
p.s the Disco-Snake was a ghost, motivated by caring.
Once more with feeling:
Or alternatively titled
starving to death at the end of the world , if I wanted to be all first world problems about it.
It's cold here but not amazing cold.
Fashion tip! get a stripey scarf , a thick woolen one, sports style.
If it's machine knitted, it is most likely made as sealed tube, so if you cut the ends open you now have a ridiculously oversized, warm, legwarmer!
Wahey.
Um.. yep. I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm trying to get myself to not go to bed at insane o 'clock, but there is something so reassuringly life denied about sleeping in all day. I sewn monsters, I write material for role playing games and pester my friends to play. Days zing by alarmingly. The dog who now lives here is adorable, so there's that. It is a staffy however and requires absurd amount of exercise. 2 walks a day up the hill and around the back and down again seem to be the bare minimum to tire it out. Flatmate has roller skates and its going to use the dog as a form of propulsion. As long as dog does not stop suddenly , this should be good plan. If that does work I am going to start using the dog as a pack mule.
I'm trying that structure thing. I have wrote stuff down. So I can look at it and go "hey that's some stuff".
Pole dancing twice a week, + at least one self directed work out. That should slowly get back to shape again from my previous 7-8 hours of krav maga a week. Which admittedly was an absolute struggle.
A friend had intestinal parasites of some variety, side effects include lethargy. I am hoping I got them off her so I can blame my deteriorating energy levels on that. Parasites can be fixed with pills.
Pill fixes are the best fixes. Pills pills pills.
Other things on list include making xorn for art trade (which I had pretty much already done , I just put it on there so I could cross something off real soon, anyone else do that?) , making polar bear (commission , by mum), making sparrow elephant (a bribe to get someone to photoshop one for me), and giant shark.
I just wrote "it's nice to have goals" but then my brain threw up some. It feels like I have committed myself to asylum again, but one of these "community care" ones where you are in a government flat somewhere and they just occasionally check in to make sure you take your pills and have not opened anyone's cat lately.
Occupational therapy.
As in motivations exists only to "keep busy" or "have goals", some pointless make-work to keep you from biting people. WHich I admit, is better than being on the street or working hospitality again.
When I was younger , I had this sense of the was the cool scene just around the corner, like with real fun people and the sweet party. You know the party? The one you get dressed up for but never actually find? You know getting a tingly sensation as you go out? That feeling of being exactly where you need to be at exactly the right time? But hey the parties always suck and you get wasted until you are either bleeding and/or naked. But yeah that feeling.
Is that just a young person thing? Is that something you lose as you get older? That tingle?
The closest it gets now a brief realization that nothing is going wrong right now and you should prob feel good about that. And it's not "oh you need danger to feel alive blah blah" fuck that. That sick gnawing sensation and icy adrenaline dumps actually did not make me feel good about being alive.
I.. had a point somewhere.. back to parties and scenes and whatever you look at and admire and aspire to.
Do you have that? I got close to where I thought I wanted to be and it was bullshit. And shit is this how people get older? You stop looking around and dig a hole, jump throw a marriage and a mortgage over your self and begin rotting? I'm not a person who tolerates being bored, and I'm very good at finding ways to entertain myself, but shit I think deep down I'm really really bored and really frustrated and it's gnawing away at me this feeling of "this is actually as good as it gets", because shit, I got the rent payed, I don't have to do any bullshit work, no-one close to me is trying to kill themselves, no-one I care about has been assaulted (recently), I don't have court coming up, no-ones out to kill me, I'm not engaged in a pissing contest with some drug-damaged scene virus, I'm not sick, I'm all up in the first world here, so this is good right?
Oh look just to complete the teen journal indulgence of this whole post imma finish with quoting some song lyrics:
"
The stars are getting in and out of automobiles
And we keep wondering when we're gonna feel something real
Keep waiting for a Santa that'll never come
A real party not just people who're faking fun
But everything gets erased before it's even said
And all that glitters isn't gold when inside it's dead
"
princess out..
Or alternatively titled
starving to death at the end of the world , if I wanted to be all first world problems about it.
It's cold here but not amazing cold.
Fashion tip! get a stripey scarf , a thick woolen one, sports style.
If it's machine knitted, it is most likely made as sealed tube, so if you cut the ends open you now have a ridiculously oversized, warm, legwarmer!
Wahey.
Um.. yep. I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm trying to get myself to not go to bed at insane o 'clock, but there is something so reassuringly life denied about sleeping in all day. I sewn monsters, I write material for role playing games and pester my friends to play. Days zing by alarmingly. The dog who now lives here is adorable, so there's that. It is a staffy however and requires absurd amount of exercise. 2 walks a day up the hill and around the back and down again seem to be the bare minimum to tire it out. Flatmate has roller skates and its going to use the dog as a form of propulsion. As long as dog does not stop suddenly , this should be good plan. If that does work I am going to start using the dog as a pack mule.
I'm trying that structure thing. I have wrote stuff down. So I can look at it and go "hey that's some stuff".
Pole dancing twice a week, + at least one self directed work out. That should slowly get back to shape again from my previous 7-8 hours of krav maga a week. Which admittedly was an absolute struggle.
A friend had intestinal parasites of some variety, side effects include lethargy. I am hoping I got them off her so I can blame my deteriorating energy levels on that. Parasites can be fixed with pills.
Pill fixes are the best fixes. Pills pills pills.
Other things on list include making xorn for art trade (which I had pretty much already done , I just put it on there so I could cross something off real soon, anyone else do that?) , making polar bear (commission , by mum), making sparrow elephant (a bribe to get someone to photoshop one for me), and giant shark.
I just wrote "it's nice to have goals" but then my brain threw up some. It feels like I have committed myself to asylum again, but one of these "community care" ones where you are in a government flat somewhere and they just occasionally check in to make sure you take your pills and have not opened anyone's cat lately.
Occupational therapy.
As in motivations exists only to "keep busy" or "have goals", some pointless make-work to keep you from biting people. WHich I admit, is better than being on the street or working hospitality again.
When I was younger , I had this sense of the was the cool scene just around the corner, like with real fun people and the sweet party. You know the party? The one you get dressed up for but never actually find? You know getting a tingly sensation as you go out? That feeling of being exactly where you need to be at exactly the right time? But hey the parties always suck and you get wasted until you are either bleeding and/or naked. But yeah that feeling.
Is that just a young person thing? Is that something you lose as you get older? That tingle?
The closest it gets now a brief realization that nothing is going wrong right now and you should prob feel good about that. And it's not "oh you need danger to feel alive blah blah" fuck that. That sick gnawing sensation and icy adrenaline dumps actually did not make me feel good about being alive.
I.. had a point somewhere.. back to parties and scenes and whatever you look at and admire and aspire to.
Do you have that? I got close to where I thought I wanted to be and it was bullshit. And shit is this how people get older? You stop looking around and dig a hole, jump throw a marriage and a mortgage over your self and begin rotting? I'm not a person who tolerates being bored, and I'm very good at finding ways to entertain myself, but shit I think deep down I'm really really bored and really frustrated and it's gnawing away at me this feeling of "this is actually as good as it gets", because shit, I got the rent payed, I don't have to do any bullshit work, no-one close to me is trying to kill themselves, no-one I care about has been assaulted (recently), I don't have court coming up, no-ones out to kill me, I'm not engaged in a pissing contest with some drug-damaged scene virus, I'm not sick, I'm all up in the first world here, so this is good right?
Oh look just to complete the teen journal indulgence of this whole post imma finish with quoting some song lyrics:
"
The stars are getting in and out of automobiles
And we keep wondering when we're gonna feel something real
Keep waiting for a Santa that'll never come
A real party not just people who're faking fun
But everything gets erased before it's even said
And all that glitters isn't gold when inside it's dead
"
princess out..
I did I class of pole dancing today after weeks of minimal exercise (like weekly half hour work out instead of 6 or 7 hours a week), and now I feel completely fine. HA I joke I feel run over. Run over multiple times with an elephant car. WHich is a good thing, although I still think I'm feeling far more drained than I should. Some vitamin deficiency maybe?
Anyway it's real fun to be doing something heaps physical that has me in femme mode. Coz I think I was starting to burn out on head-punching classes. It is something I will get back into , but I'm enjoying the break at the moment.
THe dog that lives here now is just being a miss tarty pie heart breaker. It's absurd. Normally I never let animals (other than people) in my bed , but damn if this Miss ain't just an exception.
UM WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE EXCITING TO SAY:
HERE IS A JOKE ABOUT RHINOS:
2 rhinos are hanging out and one rhino says to the other "hey do I know you?"
And the other rhino says "holy shit a talking rhino!"
SCRAP PRINCESS ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Remeber when you are looking for something it's always in the last place you look. Because of demons hiding it there. To investigate said demons , varnish your least favourite clothes and stand them up, stuffing them with used needles to do so. Then hide behind the chaise longue, and see what comes for them.
REMEMBER demons may disguise themselves as majority groups and old carpet. NEver trust a demon or a government.
If you cannot identify at least 3 different types of siege engine you will never ever prosper at life.
There are many many smalls gods, some are lonely but boring, others once you get them talking, are lively and full of the common sense.
Using a staple gun to write your name in staples on your arm does not hurt as much you think it might.
The cats and dogs see themselfs as one people, but still don't like each other that much. Their word for us translates to "opener of fridges, collector of dung"
There is 3 rats for every New Yorker, but good luck finding a currency exchange office to make good on this.
IF you remove the bottom of a rowbow, carefully and slowly, plank by plank it will not sink. Unless it happens to be on top of a body water greater in depth than the height of the row boat. THen it sinks like a boat that some idiot removed the bottom of.
There is a certain conservitive mindset present in the Australian culture that is exactly like the owner of a chain of strip clubs and brothels trying to make it in "high" society.
Guns don't kill people, massive blood loss, organ failure , and system shock kill people.
They are at least 5 types of bird invisable to the human eye unless it is filled with blue dye instead of aqueous humour. That bird in this case will appear to wearing the faces of people you have loved only in dreams and will never meet.
Anyway it's real fun to be doing something heaps physical that has me in femme mode. Coz I think I was starting to burn out on head-punching classes. It is something I will get back into , but I'm enjoying the break at the moment.
THe dog that lives here now is just being a miss tarty pie heart breaker. It's absurd. Normally I never let animals (other than people) in my bed , but damn if this Miss ain't just an exception.
UM WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE EXCITING TO SAY:
HERE IS A JOKE ABOUT RHINOS:
2 rhinos are hanging out and one rhino says to the other "hey do I know you?"
And the other rhino says "holy shit a talking rhino!"
SCRAP PRINCESS ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Remeber when you are looking for something it's always in the last place you look. Because of demons hiding it there. To investigate said demons , varnish your least favourite clothes and stand them up, stuffing them with used needles to do so. Then hide behind the chaise longue, and see what comes for them.
REMEMBER demons may disguise themselves as majority groups and old carpet. NEver trust a demon or a government.
If you cannot identify at least 3 different types of siege engine you will never ever prosper at life.
There are many many smalls gods, some are lonely but boring, others once you get them talking, are lively and full of the common sense.
Using a staple gun to write your name in staples on your arm does not hurt as much you think it might.
The cats and dogs see themselfs as one people, but still don't like each other that much. Their word for us translates to "opener of fridges, collector of dung"
There is 3 rats for every New Yorker, but good luck finding a currency exchange office to make good on this.
IF you remove the bottom of a rowbow, carefully and slowly, plank by plank it will not sink. Unless it happens to be on top of a body water greater in depth than the height of the row boat. THen it sinks like a boat that some idiot removed the bottom of.
There is a certain conservitive mindset present in the Australian culture that is exactly like the owner of a chain of strip clubs and brothels trying to make it in "high" society.
Guns don't kill people, massive blood loss, organ failure , and system shock kill people.
They are at least 5 types of bird invisable to the human eye unless it is filled with blue dye instead of aqueous humour. That bird in this case will appear to wearing the faces of people you have loved only in dreams and will never meet.
So sporks.
It's bit of a spoon and a bit of a fork. It's okay if nothing else is available , but if you want curves, you get a spoon and if you want prongs you get a fork.
What? No that wasn't analogy for anything , why do you ask?
Sardonic internalized gender bullshit aside , here's some unexpected side effects of taking progynova (a synthetic oestrogen) for a year.
Like other than the obvious ones, these are the slightly absurd, "really?" ones.
Am now enjoying the music of kate bush. And not just Running up that hill, like I can listen to a whole album quite happily. Don't know how I feel about that.
Over reaction to cute animal pictures. Seriously. It's fun, but surprising.
Naked pictures of babes no longer deeply fascinating. Find self wondering how they did their make up like that and how they deal with ingrown hairs.
Sex has about a 50/50 chance of making me wanna die. Still sticking my hand in that particular toaster though.
Less satisfaction in head-punching classes. May need to re-evaluate career decisions. Hahah I joke. Career...HA!
Muscle mass pretty much the same. Hard to gain though.
No boob growth beyond something like a ambitious mosquito bite. Still hopeful the boob fairy will come visit me in the night if I leave it out candied rabbit hearts.
Is that what boob fairys like? Shit, need to research..
Now I'm just going to ramble
Yeah. Fur coats (mine is fake) are amazingly warm. I am only wearing 2 layers right now and not suffering hypothermia! Got mine at gypsy fair. Gypsy fair is weird intersection of bogan working class new zealand, hippys, carnys and new age bullshit. I also got amber resin which smells amazing. Feeling awfully pleased with self, in fur jacket , alarming short dress and pretty pretty SMELLS.
Ah Dunedin, will I ever miss your looks of disbelieve and disgust?
Some guy pretended to swerve at me today. I flipped him off and thought about fighting him. Had package I did not want to drop so acted like a sane person instead. Package is from art swap from fantasy writer who is unbelievable good. Was expecting book. Got 4 books, including one which is a signed number 2 of 2000 limited print run and leather bound with gilt page edges.!!!.
I don't know how to deal with something so fancy.
Everything I own is kludged, painted on, scavenged,half broken, stolen or stained. Such a precious object faces certain doom in my hands. But will do my best to not, like, "happen" to it.
I send said author a fabric Umberhulk and slackmoth , but they have not arrived yet. I think I'm going to make him a xorn, because fucking hell 4 books. If do not know what those are , internet them. Otherwise you will be forced to believe my lies.
Umberhulks are a type of compact burrowing giraffe constructed in outer Mongolia in 1900s as a solution to the complete lack of compact burrowing giraffes in outer Mongolia.
A Slackmoth is a type of drinks debubbler made from miscellaneous cat parts and powered by cold fusion.
And Xorns? Well if put your finger inside your butthole and feel that little shelfy thing that you have to angle past ? That's your Xorn.
It is strange and other things , this process of realizing one has left being a boy, and discovering that you are now arriving in another gender that you might not of willingly chose , "tranny".
Now I'm talking about my feelings about this , not anyone else's journey, so do not take any of this as guide to understanding anyone else but me, nor take as a dismissal of your struggle with finding your gender identity. More the fuck Power to you with that.
Anyway, let's flippantly disregard postmodern "there is no absolute definition of something therefore defining it is pointless/false/french word french word" . Like "hot" and "cold are subjective terms, but it is still very usefully to define something as either "hot" or "cold". And in this society there is things definitely a boy or girl. The more you zoom in and look at these monoliths, the more frayed the borders seem, and the more hazy it seems. Never the less, it's still a big fucking thing looming on the horizon. LIKE A BASTARD.
Um. So The monolith of boy is behind me, I'm still well under it's shadow, but as I approach girl, it seems inescapable to me the fact that there is things coherent to girl gender that I will never dare claiming a understanding of.
Like, say, having the risk of sex making a human being growing inside me. How fucking insane is that? Imagine if you had grown up in some bizarre sheltered lab experiment thing, and just now , at the age you are now, someone tried to explain where babys come from. Oh how you would laugh. "
Grow a human? Inside another human? what the fuck? How does is come out? Oh I guess you are going to expect me next to believe it comes out my vagina! HA! How the fuck would that work?!! Nice try buddy!"
Yeah, I don't think I will ever fully scope how that is incorporated into ones identity.
Also slut shaming? That's a topic too broad to go into depth right now.
And less specific things. Like I look at expressions of female sexuality and I wonder how that feels from the inside (.. no pun intended) . And I have to admit , I don't have a fucking clue. I can close my eyes and dress up nice and get butt fucked but.. its something else. Maybe if was into guys and more of a bottom I would have a closer understanding. But yeah, this other gender I now find myself arriving at. It's not where I'm from, and it's not who I feel I am, but maybe this has to be home.
Okay that's getting thoughtful and shit, fuck that noise. Um.. Seen my pictures of me wearing a lamb coat? It has a lamb on it. A friend made it for an art project/political statement but she lets me wear it sometimes because she thinks its funny that I think its funny. I am a exvegan , I have friend that are wavering vegetarians. They eat meat sometimes, and discuss what meat is the least gross. I generally get all amused but eye rolling and say "fuck it. It's a fucking corpse. It's all fucking dead things. If you are going to eat the dead stop trying to wiggle out of that fact. Carcass carcass carcass! ... If your'e not going to finish that, I'll have it.."
Princess out...
It's bit of a spoon and a bit of a fork. It's okay if nothing else is available , but if you want curves, you get a spoon and if you want prongs you get a fork.
What? No that wasn't analogy for anything , why do you ask?
Sardonic internalized gender bullshit aside , here's some unexpected side effects of taking progynova (a synthetic oestrogen) for a year.
Like other than the obvious ones, these are the slightly absurd, "really?" ones.
Am now enjoying the music of kate bush. And not just Running up that hill, like I can listen to a whole album quite happily. Don't know how I feel about that.
Over reaction to cute animal pictures. Seriously. It's fun, but surprising.
Naked pictures of babes no longer deeply fascinating. Find self wondering how they did their make up like that and how they deal with ingrown hairs.
Sex has about a 50/50 chance of making me wanna die. Still sticking my hand in that particular toaster though.
Less satisfaction in head-punching classes. May need to re-evaluate career decisions. Hahah I joke. Career...HA!
Muscle mass pretty much the same. Hard to gain though.
No boob growth beyond something like a ambitious mosquito bite. Still hopeful the boob fairy will come visit me in the night if I leave it out candied rabbit hearts.
Is that what boob fairys like? Shit, need to research..
Now I'm just going to ramble
Yeah. Fur coats (mine is fake) are amazingly warm. I am only wearing 2 layers right now and not suffering hypothermia! Got mine at gypsy fair. Gypsy fair is weird intersection of bogan working class new zealand, hippys, carnys and new age bullshit. I also got amber resin which smells amazing. Feeling awfully pleased with self, in fur jacket , alarming short dress and pretty pretty SMELLS.
Ah Dunedin, will I ever miss your looks of disbelieve and disgust?
Some guy pretended to swerve at me today. I flipped him off and thought about fighting him. Had package I did not want to drop so acted like a sane person instead. Package is from art swap from fantasy writer who is unbelievable good. Was expecting book. Got 4 books, including one which is a signed number 2 of 2000 limited print run and leather bound with gilt page edges.!!!.
I don't know how to deal with something so fancy.
Everything I own is kludged, painted on, scavenged,half broken, stolen or stained. Such a precious object faces certain doom in my hands. But will do my best to not, like, "happen" to it.
I send said author a fabric Umberhulk and slackmoth , but they have not arrived yet. I think I'm going to make him a xorn, because fucking hell 4 books. If do not know what those are , internet them. Otherwise you will be forced to believe my lies.
Umberhulks are a type of compact burrowing giraffe constructed in outer Mongolia in 1900s as a solution to the complete lack of compact burrowing giraffes in outer Mongolia.
A Slackmoth is a type of drinks debubbler made from miscellaneous cat parts and powered by cold fusion.
And Xorns? Well if put your finger inside your butthole and feel that little shelfy thing that you have to angle past ? That's your Xorn.
It is strange and other things , this process of realizing one has left being a boy, and discovering that you are now arriving in another gender that you might not of willingly chose , "tranny".
Now I'm talking about my feelings about this , not anyone else's journey, so do not take any of this as guide to understanding anyone else but me, nor take as a dismissal of your struggle with finding your gender identity. More the fuck Power to you with that.
Anyway, let's flippantly disregard postmodern "there is no absolute definition of something therefore defining it is pointless/false/french word french word" . Like "hot" and "cold are subjective terms, but it is still very usefully to define something as either "hot" or "cold". And in this society there is things definitely a boy or girl. The more you zoom in and look at these monoliths, the more frayed the borders seem, and the more hazy it seems. Never the less, it's still a big fucking thing looming on the horizon. LIKE A BASTARD.
Um. So The monolith of boy is behind me, I'm still well under it's shadow, but as I approach girl, it seems inescapable to me the fact that there is things coherent to girl gender that I will never dare claiming a understanding of.
Like, say, having the risk of sex making a human being growing inside me. How fucking insane is that? Imagine if you had grown up in some bizarre sheltered lab experiment thing, and just now , at the age you are now, someone tried to explain where babys come from. Oh how you would laugh. "
Grow a human? Inside another human? what the fuck? How does is come out? Oh I guess you are going to expect me next to believe it comes out my vagina! HA! How the fuck would that work?!! Nice try buddy!"
Yeah, I don't think I will ever fully scope how that is incorporated into ones identity.
Also slut shaming? That's a topic too broad to go into depth right now.
And less specific things. Like I look at expressions of female sexuality and I wonder how that feels from the inside (.. no pun intended) . And I have to admit , I don't have a fucking clue. I can close my eyes and dress up nice and get butt fucked but.. its something else. Maybe if was into guys and more of a bottom I would have a closer understanding. But yeah, this other gender I now find myself arriving at. It's not where I'm from, and it's not who I feel I am, but maybe this has to be home.
Okay that's getting thoughtful and shit, fuck that noise. Um.. Seen my pictures of me wearing a lamb coat? It has a lamb on it. A friend made it for an art project/political statement but she lets me wear it sometimes because she thinks its funny that I think its funny. I am a exvegan , I have friend that are wavering vegetarians. They eat meat sometimes, and discuss what meat is the least gross. I generally get all amused but eye rolling and say "fuck it. It's a fucking corpse. It's all fucking dead things. If you are going to eat the dead stop trying to wiggle out of that fact. Carcass carcass carcass! ... If your'e not going to finish that, I'll have it.."
Princess out...
The nice thing about electrolysis is that they play the Breeze easy listening classic hits at the salon. So you can go "Phew, it's a good thing I'm being simultaneously being stabbed and electrocuted with needles in my face so I have something to take my mind off the Breeze easy listening classic hits radio"
ANOTHER CRAP STORY WITH PRINCESS
There once was a beautiful gorilla called Stalin . He was so beautiful , the other gorillas made him read a history book, so he could realize his namesake was a complete fuck head. This back fired, for it gave Stalin the idea to climb to the top of the pecking order and have all his rivals stabbed in the heads with ice picks.
THe end
Sailor Scrap princess sez:
True story, Stalin the human actually had people research if you could make half gorilla half humans with sex.
Russia: not so good at biology. SPOILER ALERT: no you can't, you have to just make them with a chainsaw and an industrial strength sewing machine like everyone else.
SEEYA
There once was a beautiful gorilla called Stalin . He was so beautiful , the other gorillas made him read a history book, so he could realize his namesake was a complete fuck head. This back fired, for it gave Stalin the idea to climb to the top of the pecking order and have all his rivals stabbed in the heads with ice picks.
THe end
Sailor Scrap princess sez:
True story, Stalin the human actually had people research if you could make half gorilla half humans with sex.
Russia: not so good at biology. SPOILER ALERT: no you can't, you have to just make them with a chainsaw and an industrial strength sewing machine like everyone else.
SEEYA
IT'S CRAP STORY TIME WITH PRINCESS!
todays story is called
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BORING?
So last day in Melbourne, and I'm biking through a park.
And theres this big ass no neck looming above his huddled lady friend ,
she's demanding he give her her bag back and he's doing that thing where , if you were to write down on paper what they were saying , it would be all calm and reasonable , but it actually fact how it's being delivered is in a way that is designed to crush and bend the other person into some tiny shape so they can fit into Apeman squalid little universe.
Also the fact he has her bag in his car and is refusing to give it to her until "You Just Talk To Me Okay Coz I'm Just Saying And You Are NOt LIstening to Me Coz YOu Keep Saying Things THat are Not What I ThiNk"
So.. bad scene.
So I stop my bike a distance away, and watch it in a deliberate way, figuring it's reducing the chance things are going to escalate if there's witnesses present.
The woman goes to get her bag out of the car. The stooped knuckle of a fuck sees me looking at him, and tells me to keep biking and it's none of my business and possible suffixed by a "you Gay". I keep looking at him neutrally. He hoots his disapproval at this. She gets her bag out of the car (the knuckle draggers mate is in the car, but he does not stop her getting it) she yells at me "what are looking at go away", I apologize and say that I was just making sure nothing was getting out of hand. "she says thanks (maybe) but I'm okay you should just go" , I say okay cool, and start to head off (the shit head does not seem to be trying to stop her from leaving). The Testosterone waste product starts off at me now
(I do believe this is called "drawing argo" in that world of war craft lingo?)
not really losing his shit but dick wavingly , "IF Things DId Get Out OF hand WHAt would YOu DO huh?" I reply "I don't know man, I don't know" and continue to leave. He repeats this and bellows directives that I should come over and explain to him "What WOULd YOu Do MAN?" I leave. The woman leaves. He stands there like a lump of gurning shit.
THATs the end of our crap story "WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BORING?"
TUNe in next time for another Crap Story Time With Princess
SAILOR SCRAP PRINCESS SEZ:
I'm glad I don't live somewhere with a lot of hand guns because I would get shot at.
Although then I do could have a gun. Hmm....
SEE YA
todays story is called
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BORING?
So last day in Melbourne, and I'm biking through a park.
And theres this big ass no neck looming above his huddled lady friend ,
she's demanding he give her her bag back and he's doing that thing where , if you were to write down on paper what they were saying , it would be all calm and reasonable , but it actually fact how it's being delivered is in a way that is designed to crush and bend the other person into some tiny shape so they can fit into Apeman squalid little universe.
Also the fact he has her bag in his car and is refusing to give it to her until "You Just Talk To Me Okay Coz I'm Just Saying And You Are NOt LIstening to Me Coz YOu Keep Saying Things THat are Not What I ThiNk"
So.. bad scene.
So I stop my bike a distance away, and watch it in a deliberate way, figuring it's reducing the chance things are going to escalate if there's witnesses present.
The woman goes to get her bag out of the car. The stooped knuckle of a fuck sees me looking at him, and tells me to keep biking and it's none of my business and possible suffixed by a "you Gay". I keep looking at him neutrally. He hoots his disapproval at this. She gets her bag out of the car (the knuckle draggers mate is in the car, but he does not stop her getting it) she yells at me "what are looking at go away", I apologize and say that I was just making sure nothing was getting out of hand. "she says thanks (maybe) but I'm okay you should just go" , I say okay cool, and start to head off (the shit head does not seem to be trying to stop her from leaving). The Testosterone waste product starts off at me now
(I do believe this is called "drawing argo" in that world of war craft lingo?)
not really losing his shit but dick wavingly , "IF Things DId Get Out OF hand WHAt would YOu DO huh?" I reply "I don't know man, I don't know" and continue to leave. He repeats this and bellows directives that I should come over and explain to him "What WOULd YOu Do MAN?" I leave. The woman leaves. He stands there like a lump of gurning shit.
THATs the end of our crap story "WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BORING?"
TUNe in next time for another Crap Story Time With Princess
SAILOR SCRAP PRINCESS SEZ:
I'm glad I don't live somewhere with a lot of hand guns because I would get shot at.
Although then I do could have a gun. Hmm....
SEE YA
FEBRUARY 2013
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JANUARY 2013
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DECEMBER 2012
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NOVEMBER 2012
