PICS
The waiting and not knowing is crushing my soul, slowly... bit by bit.
*sigh*
I am feeling that I don't really have much to share anymore. I'm not modeling anymore, so I don't have any new photoshoot images to share. I still can't fall pregnant again, so no news there. I've not been anywhere, or done anything exciting lately.
At the moment my life really only consists of 4 things - working, studying/attending school, running back and forth to acupuncture appointments, and chores and things in my spare time. It's just become very routine and mundane at the moment. But to be honest, I don't really have the energy for much else. I think I'm just going to go along with it, ride it out and see what happens in upcoming months.
Just so I don't leave you without any pictures today, I'll post some of myself, and my work, at makeup school.
Oh yes, I guess that's one thing I can talk about - makeup school. I'm currently attending a 6 week hair and makeup short course. I made the decision to do that as I already own and run a spray tanning salon (where I also do gel nails), and the demand for hair and makeup has been huge. For 2 years I've been getting asked by my clients when I'm going to start offering hair and makeup services in my salon. So I took the plunge and enrolled in a course. I'm currently almost into my 3rd week, and already have enquiries about bookings in the salon. I already do a lot of bridal parties with the spray tanning and gel toenails, so I've had a lot of enquiries from brides about coming to me for their hair and makeup as well. I've also already done hair and makeup for a lovely lady for a photoshoot of hers. So work-wise, things are looking great. It's always good when I can exand in the salon and add more services.
Me, at makeup school...
And my actual work at school. Here, I have done fashion/runway hair/makeup on my friend Nikki. I doubt I'll be getting much of this kind of work in my salon, as I'll mostly be doing softer stuff - bridal/formal/prom kind of makeup. But still, it's fun to learn other styles as well...
And some daywear, corporate, formal and bridal makeup...
And some basic hair that I've done...
And this was my first hair and makeup job in my own salon (not in school). This is the lovely Suzie. She booked me in to do pin up hair and makeup for a photoshoot of hers. This is more me just freestyling it though, doing the kind of hair and makeup I used to do on myself for my photoshoots, not really anything I've learned in class...
Hmmm, that's it really. Not much else to share yet!
Have a good weekend everyone 
Sadly, I only got to the 7 week mark.
The nursery is still completely empty. And 3 months on from my surgery, so is my uterus.
It's breaking my heart.
I just want to be back to that point. I just want to start where we left off.
Instead, negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test each month, is crushing my soul.
I know there is a bigger plan, and I know things happen for a reason. It's just really hard sometimes to see that plan, or realise what that reason is...
A good friend of mine, Bridie from Satellite Heart Photograhy, asked if I'd like to do another shoot with her, and I jumped at the chance. I was soooo happy with the images she'd taken of my husband and I last year, that I simply couldn't say no, I love working with her. We headed off to my friend Jess's place on Sunday afternoon, borrowed her horse, and these are some of the results....
Chicko was soooooo well behaved. He's actually notorious for being a bit on the feisty side. But he was an absolute gentleman for me. Jess also worked very hard to get him in tip top shape, so he looked amazing. I actually felt a lot more comfortable with him that I had expected, as it's been 10 years since I've owned a horse, so I haven't handled one in a very long time. Bit, it all came back, so I'm very pleased 
Enjoy
My hair naturally, is a dark blonde/light brown mousey colour. Despite what most people think, I do not have naturally dark hair, in fact my natural colour is really quite light, and up until 5 years ago, I had light blonde/brown hair all my life.
I love the black, I really do. It makes me feel sexy and I love how versatile it is. However, I'm really in need of a change. I just want to go back to something a bit more natural. Less... harsh. After everything that's gone on over the last year or so, I just need a change. I seem to be going back to basics, really. Back to my roots (so to speak).
I went into the hairdresser 2 days ago and we put 1/2 head foils through my hair, and then a nice brown colour over them. So my hair is in the process of going to a nice medium brown shade. And if that works and my hair is still in good condition. Who knows, I might eventually go back to my natural colour one day
Right before my appointment...
And after...
(yes, that's all my real hair, I don't have extentions).
Pretty shitty photos. but I hope to have some better ones soon.
To make up for it, here are some boobs. These were taken last weekend...
I've got a few clients in the next couple of days, and I've been rearranging things in the salon a bit, but that's about it really. I've got a big weekend, so I'm just enjoying the quiet week while I can.
Speaking of the salon, some new things have been going on, and it's all very exciting.
My custom restored 1940's duchess arrived this week, and it looks fantastic. It's just housing my retail products at the moment, and acting as a display cabinate, but when I finish my makeup course in May and start offering makeup services in the salon, it will be the makeup station.
And I also purchased a massage table, so I can now sit/lay my clients on that when I do their gel toenails. Their feet are much higher this way (they were previously sitting on a chair), which saves my back/neck a lot of pain! It's amazing how much more you enjoy doing something when it doesn't hurt you!
I've also been working on perfecting some new designs for my gel toenails, and I'm paticularly loving the new 'Galaxy' range that I'm now offering. And my clients seems to be loving it as well.
I've also completed my enrollment for my makeup course. Enrollment forms are filled out and submitted, and course fees have been paid. I'm now just eagerly awaiting the commencement in April.
Everything new that's been going on in the salon, has been really helpful at keeping my mind off the baby making, which has proven to be a lot more stressful than I had ever imagined it would be. The first time we fell pregnant, back in Nobember, we had only been trying for a month and it happened really quickly, and really easily. Then I had the surgery for ectopic pregnancy and lost our baby and my fallopian tube in December, and since then we're finding it harder to fall pregnant. Our Dr advised us to wait a month before trying again, which we did, and I've now ovulated 3 times since then, without any success. I know it will happen when it happens, and I know everyone says it will happen when we least expect it, but it doesn't make things any easier, and it certainly doesn't lessen the heartbreak of having lost our first baby. But, having a distraction in the salon, has been really helpful. I find if I'm thinking about baby making too much, or can't stop calculating/analysing things, I just walk into the salon, do up some display nails, move some furniture around, clean or organise, and I feel a lot better.
Family helps as well, it's really nice to get away and spend some time with my family, especially out at my parent's farm. There is always so much to do, and so much to see out there. And it's always so relaxing and beautiful. We had a family lunch last week, with Mum, Dad, uncles and aunties, and it was just lovely. I wore my favourite polkadot dress, put my hair in victory rolls and made heart shaped scones for the event. I felt pretty. It felt good...
That's about all I have to report this week, but for those who stuck around for the whole blog, I have these for you...
