First... HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANGOVER Stuntbutt! Sorry, but it looks like I got laid on your birthday not you. Thanks BubbleBird for taking care of his drunk ass the entire night... I felt sorry for you as I left to go see Angela. The streak is over, and I couldn't be happier! 
Days 8-10
I made it! I went 240 hours without cheating even the tiniest bit. I havent updated this journal for the last three days, because there really wasnt much to tell. Day 8 was a Saturday for me, and I will admit to a lot of food cravings that day, but it was the circumstance not the cleanse. I spent the morning working on my Koi pond, and worked up a good sweat doing it. Then I spent the afternoon at the Philadelphia Park Racetrack on the lawn were everyone brings their own food and grills it on the spot. It was as if I was being tested, because there was a grill at every picnic table around me. I was bombarded with smells of cooking Italian sausage, grilled chicken, steaks, hotdogs, hamburgers, and every other wonderful summer BBQ smell you could imagine. Due to my location I was limited to the one 32 fl oz drink that I prepared for before I left the house to combat the temptations. Sunday, was uneventful and easy to get through. I even cooked breakfast for Stuntbutt and BubbleBird after they spent the night at my place. I made bacon, and scrambled eggs with cheese, and a nice fresh pot of coffee, and I had no desire to eat any of it. I did have a celebratory slice of bacon that was leftover last night at 11. I think I deserved it.
So was it worth it? If anyone ever asks me, Was it worth it? My answer would certainly be, YES! I have never felt so rested and energized during the day. Sunday night I only managed to get 4 hours of sleep, and I made it through an entire day of work, and an evening with my pool team without any coffee. I would have zonked out at my desk in the past if a similar situation happened. People ask me, What if its placebo effect? If thats what it is, thats fine with me, because it got the job done. I dont care what the reason is that it work, I am just glad that it worked. I have energy again, I am sleeping better, and I just have a brighter outlook on life and my health. I can contribute a good part of this to kicking my addiction to coffee. Before the cleanse I was drinking easily 24 or more cups of coffee a day. I havent had a drop since I started. So, all in all I have better energy, no need for coffee, and I lost 4 pounds. You could say that I lost 8, because I lost 4 the first day that I eliminated, but I know that I will be gaining the first 4 back with eating and storing waste again. The accomplishment I am most proud of is just having the will power to stick to it.
DONE!
I made it! I went 240 hours without cheating even the tiniest bit. I havent updated this journal for the last three days, because there really wasnt much to tell. Day 8 was a Saturday for me, and I will admit to a lot of food cravings that day, but it was the circumstance not the cleanse. I spent the morning working on my Koi pond, and worked up a good sweat doing it. Then I spent the afternoon at the Philadelphia Park Racetrack on the lawn were everyone brings their own food and grills it on the spot. It was as if I was being tested, because there was a grill at every picnic table around me. I was bombarded with smells of cooking Italian sausage, grilled chicken, steaks, hotdogs, hamburgers, and every other wonderful summer BBQ smell you could imagine. Due to my location I was limited to the one 32 fl oz drink that I prepared for before I left the house to combat the temptations. Sunday, was uneventful and easy to get through. I even cooked breakfast for Stuntbutt and BubbleBird after they spent the night at my place. I made bacon, and scrambled eggs with cheese, and a nice fresh pot of coffee, and I had no desire to eat any of it. I did have a celebratory slice of bacon that was leftover last night at 11. I think I deserved it.
So was it worth it? If anyone ever asks me, Was it worth it? My answer would certainly be, YES! I have never felt so rested and energized during the day. Sunday night I only managed to get 4 hours of sleep, and I made it through an entire day of work, and an evening with my pool team without any coffee. I would have zonked out at my desk in the past if a similar situation happened. People ask me, What if its placebo effect? If thats what it is, thats fine with me, because it got the job done. I dont care what the reason is that it work, I am just glad that it worked. I have energy again, I am sleeping better, and I just have a brighter outlook on life and my health. I can contribute a good part of this to kicking my addiction to coffee. Before the cleanse I was drinking easily 24 or more cups of coffee a day. I havent had a drop since I started. So, all in all I have better energy, no need for coffee, and I lost 4 pounds. You could say that I lost 8, because I lost 4 the first day that I eliminated, but I know that I will be gaining the first 4 back with eating and storing waste again. The accomplishment I am most proud of is just having the will power to stick to it.
DONE!
Today all dogs awoke as they should so today is starting off great. As for an update on yesterday's happenings for the cleanse... I was again not hungry, and again felt good. I seem to be thinking about the strangest things. It's as if my body has sooo much free time from digesting food, that my thoughts wander. I can't remember any of the strange thoughts, but maybe today I will make a point of writing some down as they happen. I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday. While on the Master Cleanse... don't trust any farts. This is kind of gross, but important. Due to the watery nature of all my "eliminations" a shart is easier to have happen than ever. Don't get me wrong, I didn't full on shit myself, but I definitely went straight to the bathroom, eliminated what was lurking in my bowls, and then changed my underwear. I guess I am lucky that Knanook was sick in the morning and I learned this lesson while at home. Anyway, it's Friday, and I can't wait to get past this weekend. Come Tuesday I will be eating normal food again!
3 days left!
3 days left!
Todays blog is going up at the end of the day. I really dont have much to report from the day before. I had no hunger pains, and I had no headaches. I did get really tired on my way home from work, so I decided to take a nap. Well the nap lasted for 4 hours. Needless to say I didnt get much done the rest of the day.
As to why I am posting so late this morning was a sad morning for me. I awoke to my normal alarm, felling well rested from all the extra sleep I got from the night before, I get up and go to let my three dogs out like every morning. Well, my oldest dog Knanook didnt want to get up. So I figure, I have a while with my flush and all, so Ill just let him sleep. Finally its been too long and I want him to get up so he has plenty of time outside before I leave for work. I awake him, and he strangely keeps licking his chops. He walks awkwardly towards the stairs, and stops. I try to entice him down the steps and he just doesnt want to go. This is very unusual for Knanook. So I walk past him, go down a few steps and turn back to see him face to face. Hes still licking his chops, and drooling heavily from the mouth, almost as if he has the mouth sweats just before you get sick. I notice his eyes are really dilated for being in the sunny foyer and realize something is wrong. I pick him up, and carry him down the stairs so I can let him outside. He goes outside for a little, and seems ok, but he isnt himself. So I decided to take the day off from work, and take him to the vet. Turns out he had a mini-stroke. For his age this shouldnt be unexpected. Hes 14 and has lived a very healthy life. He seems to be recovering well, and is now on a regimen of Aspirin twice a day. Poor old guy I will be very sad when he passes.
As to why I am posting so late this morning was a sad morning for me. I awoke to my normal alarm, felling well rested from all the extra sleep I got from the night before, I get up and go to let my three dogs out like every morning. Well, my oldest dog Knanook didnt want to get up. So I figure, I have a while with my flush and all, so Ill just let him sleep. Finally its been too long and I want him to get up so he has plenty of time outside before I leave for work. I awake him, and he strangely keeps licking his chops. He walks awkwardly towards the stairs, and stops. I try to entice him down the steps and he just doesnt want to go. This is very unusual for Knanook. So I walk past him, go down a few steps and turn back to see him face to face. Hes still licking his chops, and drooling heavily from the mouth, almost as if he has the mouth sweats just before you get sick. I notice his eyes are really dilated for being in the sunny foyer and realize something is wrong. I pick him up, and carry him down the stairs so I can let him outside. He goes outside for a little, and seems ok, but he isnt himself. So I decided to take the day off from work, and take him to the vet. Turns out he had a mini-stroke. For his age this shouldnt be unexpected. Hes 14 and has lived a very healthy life. He seems to be recovering well, and is now on a regimen of Aspirin twice a day. Poor old guy I will be very sad when he passes.
Today is double hump day, being that its Wednesday so the work week is half over, and today is day 5 of my 10 day minimum goal for the cleanse. So after today is over its all downhill. There really isnt much to tell from yesterday
no exciting elimination stories, no real hunger or craving pains, I developed a headache around lunch time yesterday, but once I drank some more lemonade I was fine. I hope that my days are like this for the rest of the cleanse, if not better.
5 days to go!
5 days to go!
Day 4:
Well, they say that day 3 is the worst. It is supposed to be the day that your body craves food the most, and the start of your detoxification process. This is when the body leaves the storage mode of the starvation cycle. Apparently the body first realizes that its not getting the calories it needs so it tries to hold on to every last calorie it receives, but then a point is reached where it realizes it just needs to use the reserves to stay alive. From this point on I am supposed to be using my stored energy, AKA fat, and with this my body will clean the stored toxins from my body. My colon should be mostly empty, aside from the plaque that has built on the walls from years of junk food, and I should start processing all the toxins through my liver. I will be honest, yesterday sucked! I didnt have hunger pains, but I had cravings for food, and boredom at work really amplified how much me getting up and going to get a snack from the vending machine really just kills the boredom. Towards the end of the day I just had to leave work. I have a job as an engineer on Nuclear Power Plants, and if I dont have my head screwed on tight I could potentially cause a failure in the plant, and create a meltdown. So with the haziness I was having all day, and the distraction of my thoughts towards the end of the day I just needed to get home. Once I got home I took a nap, and felt much better. Went to pool league, and watched my friends eat the typical bar food I loved so much, and swill back beer and I didnt want a drop. I am proud I didnt fold when I really wanted to a few times.
One note on a hilarious, but tortures episode for me, I drank my morning salt water for my flush, and the previous two mornings the flush happened within 30 minutes and was over within an hour, well not this morning. I woke up at 6 and had my flush consumed by 6:30, from this moment on I waited, and waited, and waited. If I dont leave my house by around 7:30, I wouldnt make it to work in time. I have a 55 mile commute to work through the worst traffic Philadelphia has to offer, aside from downtown streets, during rush hour. So finally I have to make the decision to just start to get ready and leave for work and take my chances. Sure enough I am just about to leave when I get the feeling the flush is going to start. I get two rather significant, eliminations and realize I just need to leave for work. Its 8 am, and I need to be at work at 9. I turn on the radio, and as my luck stands there is a traffic accident on 95 south just below where the Blue Route enters, and its causing the bottom 20 miles of my commute to be a crawl. I instantly called my manager told him I was running late due to inconsistency this morning, and that traffic was horrible due to an accident. On my way there I had a few pains, as if I would need to go again I instantly started praying to the sphincter gods that mine would hold. Once on route there is no convenient place to stop, and even if I could pull over in time, the splatter of this ass water would surely hit me no matter what position or precaution I used. I think the only way I could possible not get this literal shit all over myself would be to sit on a solid concrete guard rail, or over the edge of a bridge and moon the cars passing as I dowse their windshields with years of colon build up. Luckily my lamentations where heard by the gods, and I made it safely to work 30 minutes late mind you.
Later I told my roommate about my morning commute, and he suggested I pack an extra pair of underwear for the trip. I had to remind him that if this accident ever happened, a clean pair of underwear would be the last of my worries. I might as well start sitting on a large plastic bag, for if I ever do shit myself on the way into work my biggest concern is not ruining my car. I mean this is no average shit that would just get compacted against my ass and trapped in my boxers. This shit would seep its way through my clothes and ruin my car seat. I might as well just get out of the car and set the interior on fire, throwing my clothes in with it. Maybe this way when the police are dragging me to jail, I can try to use the excuse of a car fire catching my clothes on fire, and I shit myself in fear of burning to death. Lets hope this never needs to be a reality.
I still fight on! 6 days to go.
Well, they say that day 3 is the worst. It is supposed to be the day that your body craves food the most, and the start of your detoxification process. This is when the body leaves the storage mode of the starvation cycle. Apparently the body first realizes that its not getting the calories it needs so it tries to hold on to every last calorie it receives, but then a point is reached where it realizes it just needs to use the reserves to stay alive. From this point on I am supposed to be using my stored energy, AKA fat, and with this my body will clean the stored toxins from my body. My colon should be mostly empty, aside from the plaque that has built on the walls from years of junk food, and I should start processing all the toxins through my liver. I will be honest, yesterday sucked! I didnt have hunger pains, but I had cravings for food, and boredom at work really amplified how much me getting up and going to get a snack from the vending machine really just kills the boredom. Towards the end of the day I just had to leave work. I have a job as an engineer on Nuclear Power Plants, and if I dont have my head screwed on tight I could potentially cause a failure in the plant, and create a meltdown. So with the haziness I was having all day, and the distraction of my thoughts towards the end of the day I just needed to get home. Once I got home I took a nap, and felt much better. Went to pool league, and watched my friends eat the typical bar food I loved so much, and swill back beer and I didnt want a drop. I am proud I didnt fold when I really wanted to a few times.
One note on a hilarious, but tortures episode for me, I drank my morning salt water for my flush, and the previous two mornings the flush happened within 30 minutes and was over within an hour, well not this morning. I woke up at 6 and had my flush consumed by 6:30, from this moment on I waited, and waited, and waited. If I dont leave my house by around 7:30, I wouldnt make it to work in time. I have a 55 mile commute to work through the worst traffic Philadelphia has to offer, aside from downtown streets, during rush hour. So finally I have to make the decision to just start to get ready and leave for work and take my chances. Sure enough I am just about to leave when I get the feeling the flush is going to start. I get two rather significant, eliminations and realize I just need to leave for work. Its 8 am, and I need to be at work at 9. I turn on the radio, and as my luck stands there is a traffic accident on 95 south just below where the Blue Route enters, and its causing the bottom 20 miles of my commute to be a crawl. I instantly called my manager told him I was running late due to inconsistency this morning, and that traffic was horrible due to an accident. On my way there I had a few pains, as if I would need to go again I instantly started praying to the sphincter gods that mine would hold. Once on route there is no convenient place to stop, and even if I could pull over in time, the splatter of this ass water would surely hit me no matter what position or precaution I used. I think the only way I could possible not get this literal shit all over myself would be to sit on a solid concrete guard rail, or over the edge of a bridge and moon the cars passing as I dowse their windshields with years of colon build up. Luckily my lamentations where heard by the gods, and I made it safely to work 30 minutes late mind you.
Later I told my roommate about my morning commute, and he suggested I pack an extra pair of underwear for the trip. I had to remind him that if this accident ever happened, a clean pair of underwear would be the last of my worries. I might as well start sitting on a large plastic bag, for if I ever do shit myself on the way into work my biggest concern is not ruining my car. I mean this is no average shit that would just get compacted against my ass and trapped in my boxers. This shit would seep its way through my clothes and ruin my car seat. I might as well just get out of the car and set the interior on fire, throwing my clothes in with it. Maybe this way when the police are dragging me to jail, I can try to use the excuse of a car fire catching my clothes on fire, and I shit myself in fear of burning to death. Lets hope this never needs to be a reality.
I still fight on! 6 days to go.
I, have survived almost 60 hours without solid food of any kind. I can honestly say that I havent had any hunger pains, but I have had cravings for food. Last night while playing Halo with my roommate he ate some of the leftover pizza that we ordered for Friday night. It looked soooooo damn good. It took a solid test of will power not to dive across the living room to beat TJ unconscious. I wanted to bludgeon him with my 360 controller so I could eat his pizza. Lucky I had a full glass of my lemonade drink so I just gulped a few swings, and took my anger for wonderful pizza out on the poor noobs on the other team in Halo. The lack of eating really isnt that difficult when you have things to occupy your time. Its amazing to see that the fastest solution to boredom is to eat something, or maybe we just dont realize how much time of ours is lost in making and consuming meals. TJ ate five different times yesterday, and he was only home from 5 pm till I went to sleep. I dont think this was anything out of the normal, but you just dont notice till you are the one sitting there with all this extra time on your hands. Today will be a real test, because I will be at work. I will need to deal with my slight headache with the people who give me the largest headaches. My caffeine withdrawal headache was never bad, but noticeable. Each day it gets better, and today it is more of a haziness. All in all this isnt a bad experience. By far the worst part of my day is the morning salt water flush. It is bearable, but certainly will never become enjoyable.
7 days to go.
7 days to go.
OK, so I want to clear something up from my first post... I am not doing this as a diet, I know it has the added benefit of losing weight, and I welcome that fact, but the main reason I am doing this is, first a test of my will power. Every so often I like to test my ability to keep control of my addictions and vices. In 2000 I stopped smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and went cold turkey. In 2004 I stopped drinking alcohol of any form for 6 months. Now, I am doing a 10 day cleanse. Third, I have read enough about this, and that the need to cleanse out your colon, and to give your body a full chance to chase out all the free toxins is a positive idea. Also it seems like a good idea for me to kick off getting back into the gym and eating right. I know my personality, and once I achieve something difficult I tend to keep on the right path.
So the Lemonade doesnt taste all that bad. The first reaction is that it tastes like lemonade with syrup in it. The second reaction is, Holly Shit! That is when the spice of the cayenne pepper kicks in. It wasnt difficult to drink after the first few ounces, but I can see how a week from now I will get tired of the taste and want something more substantial. I became a little hungry half way through the day, but I would say that it was more of a craving for the french fries I was smelling at the tournament then actual hunger. I have had a small headache that I can contribute to no caffeine, and coming from someone who easily drinks 12 cups a day, it was to be expected. All in all day 1 was uneventful and I am curious to see how day 2 goes.
8 days to go.
So the Lemonade doesnt taste all that bad. The first reaction is that it tastes like lemonade with syrup in it. The second reaction is, Holly Shit! That is when the spice of the cayenne pepper kicks in. It wasnt difficult to drink after the first few ounces, but I can see how a week from now I will get tired of the taste and want something more substantial. I became a little hungry half way through the day, but I would say that it was more of a craving for the french fries I was smelling at the tournament then actual hunger. I have had a small headache that I can contribute to no caffeine, and coming from someone who easily drinks 12 cups a day, it was to be expected. All in all day 1 was uneventful and I am curious to see how day 2 goes.
8 days to go.
So I decided to partake in the Master Cleanse. Its a body detoxification diet where I drink and eat nothing but a Lemonade of water, fresh squeezed lemon juice, grade B maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for a minimum of 10 days. Sounds gross, and I havent really had a chance to try it yet, so I will let you know
but I am going to give a day by day description of whats going on every morning while I wait for my elimination process to end.
To start, last night I drank my Spring Cleaning herbal tea. When I was looking for a laxative herbal tea, and came across this tea, I just had to buy it. The name Spring Cleaning was just too funny not to buy it. It was marketing at its best. I guess I am spring cleaning my colon so its fitting. Anyway, regardless of the name, it actually tasted really good. Not a bad start to a long potentially torturous process. Fast forward 5 hours. I am awake and part of the cleanse is to drink 32 floz. of water with 2 teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt. Again this experience wasnt that bad. It was difficult to drink it all at once, and the last few gulps didnt go down nearly as well as the first, but I managed. In the book, Lose Weight, Have More Energy, and Be Happier in 10 Days it describes the morning eleminations as taking place within 30 to 60 minutes after you drink this water, and should reoccur for about an hour after they star, Stay near the toilet. Well it wasnt kidding. I figured I would have a short amount of time so I could weigh myself, and then take my measurements to start this blog no. Within the first 20 minutes I had the pains to go. I managed to weigh myself before I sat down let just say I lost 4 pounds in my first elimination. I am not going to count that towards my total weight lose, because honestly I ate a lot of pizza last night for dinner, and gave myself a few fast pounds to lose. So now I am going to shower, make enough Lemonade and be off to my pool tournament. Lets hope the eliminations dont keep me running the rest of the day.
To start, last night I drank my Spring Cleaning herbal tea. When I was looking for a laxative herbal tea, and came across this tea, I just had to buy it. The name Spring Cleaning was just too funny not to buy it. It was marketing at its best. I guess I am spring cleaning my colon so its fitting. Anyway, regardless of the name, it actually tasted really good. Not a bad start to a long potentially torturous process. Fast forward 5 hours. I am awake and part of the cleanse is to drink 32 floz. of water with 2 teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt. Again this experience wasnt that bad. It was difficult to drink it all at once, and the last few gulps didnt go down nearly as well as the first, but I managed. In the book, Lose Weight, Have More Energy, and Be Happier in 10 Days it describes the morning eleminations as taking place within 30 to 60 minutes after you drink this water, and should reoccur for about an hour after they star, Stay near the toilet. Well it wasnt kidding. I figured I would have a short amount of time so I could weigh myself, and then take my measurements to start this blog no. Within the first 20 minutes I had the pains to go. I managed to weigh myself before I sat down let just say I lost 4 pounds in my first elimination. I am not going to count that towards my total weight lose, because honestly I ate a lot of pizza last night for dinner, and gave myself a few fast pounds to lose. So now I am going to shower, make enough Lemonade and be off to my pool tournament. Lets hope the eliminations dont keep me running the rest of the day.
OCTOBER 2009
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SEPTEMBER 2009
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AUGUST 2009
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JULY 2009