Fuck life. And fuck everything that has to do with Life. Life can suck my Dick. If I had a Knife, and Life had a Face, I would stab the shit out of it, then cut it off and mount it on my wall. Fuck. Life.



The other day my Fridge broke. Called my landlord since I couldn't fix the fucker. So he comes out to replace it... with another broken fridge...
Yeah... The thing has been plugged in since 2pm yesterday, and has yet to get cold. The thing is running, you can hear it, but nothing works.
I had to go to WalMart last night (1AM) to buy coolers and ice to save my freshly bought groceries from earlier in the day. I lost the icecream, which melted before 5pm. I lost my eggs, and breakfast foods. Any boxed frozen lunch shit, like my lean cruisines are close to being ruined, and the meats are in risk of spoiling and having to be thrown out too.
I have about 30bucks left for groceries this month, which can't be spent until Tortuga.

I had one of the worse breakdowns last night to where I wanted to drown in booze that which I lack in my house due to financial problems, and because I did not have that I was willing to vanish my grip on reality in any other form i could think of.

is this over just the fridge? no.
this house has been breaking down since the day I moved in. My money is constantly so tight that I have to plan months ahead if I want to be able to do something, or spend money on myself. My tire blew out the other day and Les Schwab wouldnt fix it so I will end up owing my parents more money for buying me new tires whenever that may be. I might have to find a new home in the next few days if my Landlord refuses to replace the new broken fridge, so thats all the money I have saved up, and all my tortuga expenses shot to hell. And I'm arms length away from strangling the fuck out of my writing instructor and either failing or droppping that class. And Tangie (my foster kiiteh) has managed to almost completely destroy my house in the three days that I have had her, and she had decided to do so at night when I attempt to sleep, and has resulted in the lack of sleep for two days. Hence forth adding to a more disasterous trainwreck of emotion breakdowns and self loathing of which I seem to constantly be on.
I don't want to get rid of Tangie and give her back to the Foster place here, but I just cant handle not sleeping with all my stress building up, and my house being destroyed.

God I just want to rip my own face off. I fucking hate life.
If I didn't have my animals to worry about, I'd probably be sitting here saying I want to kill myself.

One more day of this shit, and I swear I'll be gouging my eyes out with a wooden spoon...








fuck.
this.
shit.