Back On Track in 07I'm back in Burlington VT after a disappointing holiday down in Jersey. . . actually let me rephrase that. . . A Christmas that reminded me of the important things in life and probably the worst New Year's Eve of my life so far. Here's the key point, I was ID'd by the police on my way out of the party around 1:30. I don't think I need to explain any further.
It was good to see all my friends and spend some time with my family but it was time for me to go. I feel like my welcome in Jersey grows smaller in every visit. I could've stayed an extra couple of days but I chose to leave. By the time I left I felt like I had exhausted my friends and they had exhausted me, but o well, I'll get over it and I'm sure they will also. Still, I wish I could say that they understand me but we are very far from that.
But anyway back to the New Year! I've got big plans for this year, 07 is going to be a big year for Sbyrd. I know what you're thinking, people tell me they say this every year. Well I don't! I didn't have any goals planned for 05 or 06 and it hurt me, I'm in the same place I was 2 years ago with nothing to show for it, it's time to get back on track! The first part on my plan is my education. I'm going back to school this upcoming semester. I'll be attending the Community College of Vermont in Burlington, not the best school by a longshot but by far the most affordable in the area. The plan is to graduate 2 years from the fall semester. A very realistic goal if I stick to my guns and focus up. I'm guessing I'll continue with an English major. By the time I'm done with this I want to be able to do something in journalism, but this is the real dream. . . after I graduate I want to continue my education in California where I can pursue a career in film making or radio. Big dreams? Yes, but reasonable and it all starts here and now. Film is my dream and deep down I feel like it's my true calling, what I was made for.
Now, the next part of my transformation begins with recommitting myself to boxing. I'm just not happy inside my own skin and that can make even the simplest things unsettling. So I'm going back to boxing after an injury kept me out for a while. I just have this feeling that if I can get over this and get into the shape I've always wanted to be other things will start to become a little easier for me. Maybe the anxiety won't get to me, maybe I won't always be so nervous, and maybe I'll finally be able to say what's on my mind without the fear of others excepting it. I want to prove to people that they were wrong, all the people who figured that this is who I'll always be, all the people who decided never to take a chance on me. I want the upper hand on the people who have always taken me for granted. After 07 I'll be well on my way, or at least that's the plan.

-much love, Sbyrd
.ps - It snowed here today!

What a mix of emotions this weekend was. The restaurant I work at closed for good this weekend. Bye bye dishwashing job, I will not shed one single tear for you. The owners dropped the bomb on us Friday night. We closed Saturday. Now, I could honestly fuckin care less. What, I don't have sift through filth on my weekends anymore? What a shame. I think its kinda funny actually, I like it when people get what they deserve but there is the other side of the spectrum. As much I like seeing that rich bastard get his, I had friends who were waitresses and bartenders there, and it's them who got screwed. It's not easy to find a good bartending or wait staff job on Church St in downtown Burlington. They're struggling college students, and that's who it really sucks for. I watched as 2 of my good friends drank themselves into oblivion this weekend and at first I thought they were being dramatic, but then I realized this job obviously meant more to other people than it did me. I will miss all the good people I worked with, I won't miss the assholes I worked with, and I'm sure as hell not going to miss washing dishes. So now I'm left with my other part-time job at the sports store. I don't think that's gunna cut it so I'll begin looking for another job sometime soon but from all the shit that's gone down this weekend I've come to one conclusion, I'm going back to school in the spring. I need to get on my path and hopefully I will see it through.

-much love, Sbyrd