"what's the point of being alive if you never pull down your shorts and slide on the ice?"

We brought home our beagle from surgery the other day.I feel bad that I can't let her do the things she loves most like playing, jumping and running, but it's only two weeks that she has to stay calm.We're thinking of adopting another dog from the scpca, a beautiful liver spot dalmation.She's 7 years old and sadly has heartworm.Dogs like that are often put to sleep ecause heartworm treatment is so expensive.We'd like to give her a good home, but we have to wait untill Cate heals from her surgery before we can even begin to think about adopting another dog.I finally got around to reading thePunk Planet article on punk porn.I think it was pretty interesting.That magazine is always thought provoking, even though I seldom agree w/ their politics.THe very irst issue I ever bought feaured a story about Brian Deneke.The aniversary of his death was this month, so for anyone who happens to read my journal and isn't familiar w/ this tragic story please check out www.briandeneke.org.

We brought the beagle home last night.She is the sweetest thing ever.A bundle of energy too, we went for two one hour walks/jogs last night.We decided to name her Cate(pronounced katie) after Hecate,dogs are sacred to her.She didn't like any of the toys we bought her, but she did like playing with an old stuffed animal of mine.You can tell she has a hunting instinct.After she would chew shake and maul the stuffed animal she would drop it at my feet.I 'm totally in love with her.She's amazingly well behaved, rarely barks, which is odd for a beagle.She's more or less house trained too which is good.She had one accident inside yesterday, and she immediately knew it was a bad thing for her to do.I chalk it up to her being over excited that day.She went from the spca to the beach to my place of work to my apartment and around the neighboorhood.At least she didn't poop in the house.She does the most adorable thing when she wants a treat, she stands on her hind legs and jumps up and down like a kangaroo.She loves my wife too but we both agree she's going to end up daddys girl.I'm definately in love.

We gave up on the idea of going to a breeder for a boston terrier, and opted to adopt from the spca instead.We go to pick her up today.She's a beagle with the most beautiful brown eyes.She was found as a strat nursing two puppies.Both the puppies have been adopted.She was, we're told, very protective of the female pup.Fortunately one of the voulenteers there adopted her female pup and is practically our next door neighboor,so there is family reunion in the works.We have named the beagle Lady for right now, as we were stymied as to what to name her.I'm sort of leaning towards lady zephyr.We bring her home today and I couldn't be more excted.

This last Halloween was our first wedding anniversary.We are so lame, our day consisted of going out to lunch, going out to dinner and renting playstation2.We had a blast though.Our gift to each other is going to be a dog.We're in the process of looking for a puppy now, we're leaning towards a Boston Terrier.

I am, though guilty of this same sin, amazed at the amount of people who take themselves so seriously. Once an Angel told me a secret, and wile I'm unwilling to reveal it, let me just say laugh. Laugh long loud and hard. Especially at yourself. Self ridicule is the only safeguard against stagnation. Remember we are all talking monkeys. A man can achieve greatness if he is only willing to abandon himself. Slaughter your sacred cows, eschew your warm bed for cold earth, pass up wine to greedily drink water. Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

This last Sunday Cartoon Network showed and old episode of Space Ghost Coast To Coast. The Ramones were on it and my wife didn't wake me up-sigh-.Anywhoo Zorak (if you aren't familiar w/ the show knowing who zorak is still won't make you understand how cool this was) said the Ramones were his favorite band. The whole thing has prompted a Ramones binge on my part I haven't listened to much else since my wife told me about Space Ghost. I miss music that was this genuine and fun. People carry on about the strokes and even the white stripes as being the new Ramones.Bull fucking shit. Hey I can dig both those bands but it's not the same deal by a long shot. I think the problem w/ a lot of bands is that they don't really love music the love art or they love fashion. Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, Elvis, Black Sabbath ..these bands kicked you in the fucking nuts. The music came from the crotch and not the head. I miss that dammit.

Lately I have been dreaming of people and places from what was the happiest time in my childhood.Though sadly short these days have taken on a mythical quality for me and I treasure each memory.With age they seem to fade but these dreams were heart breakingly beautiful.The scenes which were just memories were so vivid.I could even hear the conversations people were having.I used to think after I moved away from that time and place that I would never be that happy again.Before I met my wife that was pretty much true.Three years ago these dreams would have broken my heart ..now it's like bumping into a friend you havent seen in a long time.Which is good.It's important to learn how to leave heartbreak behind.

THis is an excerpt from my live journal bio which i think will suffice for a first journal entry:

I'm a Capricorn. For all of you out there that know what that means..and how typical my behavior is for a capricorn keep in mind my knowledge of astrology (not to mention interest) can be summed up this way: The goat/fish thing looks pretty nifty. Every so often I hear "I wouldn't be surprised if you're such and such a sign." More often than not those people are wrong. I don't think this means I defy stereotypes I think it means astrology is the biggest load of crap I've seen since I took a friends St. Bernard for a walk. My life can be summed up by three things which often intersect eachother in beautiful ways. These things are my wife, my magic, and my art. Yes, another occultist on the web..who'd a thunk it. Rest easy at least I don't write poetry. The key and central theme to these things and my life on the whole is a quest for knowledge. I would have eaten the serpents apple with total foreknowledge of gods wrath. I will entertain all comments and questions. My life is beautiful. Even the parts which break my heart and destroy my faith have a beauty to them. I see beauty and humor in everything. This can make me come off as insensitive and rightly so as I am often insensitive. I feel our society and by our I mean American (and for you wise asses by American I mean the United States of America) has adopted the christ victim complex. People by and large are too coddled. There are a lot of shoulders to cry on everyone seems to be a victim. I therefor try to be honest as opposed to sympathetic. I hope others will be the same with me. I do on rare occasion honestly feel bad for people so despite appearances I'm still human (at least until tests prove otherwise) One thing that I feel makes me different from a lot of my peers in the occult/pagan community (practically the only peers I talk w/) is that I'm not liberal.I consider myself to be a conservative. That does not translate into Republican or Christian. Politics are a sore spot for a lot of people. Especially those who claim they aren't interested in politics. I don't buy into eebil Christians persecuting pagans. If you mention the burning times I will assume you mean Waco where people were actually killed for their religion. I'm a white heterosexual male.On the liberal social scale this puts me second in command to Satan, and quite possibly part of the odd conglomerate known as " THE MAN." . In closing I will glibly reduce myself to stereotypical labels. Sammael is a husband a lover a magician an artist not fond of proper punctuation apparently a punk a chaote a friend a complete and total bastard. Much like my hero Cthulhu I hope to become an incarnation of evolution.