Member: Sacrificial_Lamb

Sacrificial_Lamb Nihilism is only depressing if you want meaning.

I’m private
 
MARCH 29, 2006 @ 01:50 AM


Abandon all hope.
I was up till 4 last night doing school work and I’m still behind, not only that I’m not even shore (<-I know thing is the wrong word I just can’t spell) what I did made a difference. I’m being far too distracted, I should remove all games from my computer (I just don’t think I’m morally strong enough).
If school dose not lighten up soon I’m afraid I might give up, more of an involuntary reaction rather than a considered move. I have been told I was very stubborn, will I was as a kid but personally I see no evidence of it remaining. I would like to keep going, and can’t think of any logical reason other than my self loathing suspicions that I’m not up to a passing standard.
I hate this feeling of despair, more powerful than my natural hate of all things around me. I remember I had the same thing last year of high school and first year of university. The feeling that I have never had to do any work till this point telling myself that every thing before this came naturally and this is the first time I have ever had some thing beyond me that I really had to learn. It feels more powerful this time and it’s not so much about a lack of knowledge but rather an inability of doing my work, I’m just not motivated to do it.
Comments
KiwiMalice

KiwiMalice

New Zealand
January 2006

MAY 04, 2006 06:19 PM

time to update your journal man HAHAHA ; P

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