I went and saw my dad not too long ago and he wants me to get married and have kids so he can have more grand children. He told me to "work the church" those were his words, not mine. and i tell him, ya know i don't really believe in god, i don't know how well that will go. But then he tells me "Mijo, church girls are used to being on their knees." So I'm in line at this christian singles mixer at a church in Dallas and as people are walking in i hear the door giving an automated greeting. As you walk through, it says "*bing* Welcome to our church, have a blessed day." But as i go through, i swear i heard that scary chanting music from The Omen. My Slayer T-shirt caught fire. They had to use holy water to put it out so now i got this weird chemical burn on my left shoulder. Needless to say, it didn't work out too well. Not because I'm an athiest, i just didn't know how to talk to these girls, i was out of my element. This one girl asked me what my favorite book of the bible was. I didn't know there was more than one! I thought it was just THE BIBLE. I didn't know it was some kind of dogmatic encyclopedia. So i tell this girl, "You know, that is a really good question they're all so good i mean that's why they call it the good books. But i guess if i had to choose i'd say, the last one." And she tells me 'Really? No one ever picks that one, what did you like about it?" And i go "The twist at the end. I mean, i didn't see that coming at all. And the way it leaves itself open for a sequel was really well done." And it all went downhill from there. By the end of the night i was chasing women down screaming "Come on! The power of christ compells you to suck it!"