I'm categorising this as a blog about love.
That's not incorrect, technically...
Really though, this is a blog about this:
If you know me even the slightest bit, my love for Harry Potter is no secret. It has, quite simply, always been a part of my life... at least, for as long as I count memories important. I miss the days where there was a new book or a new movie to look forward to. I sort of almost miss the days where I found the conventions fun, before working at them ruined it for me... but I, without a doubt, would not be where I am today or have many of the friends I have today without that fandom...
I'm not sure I could have prepared myself for the studio tour though.
To say I was somewhat overwhelmed may be the understatement of the year so far... It was really hard to process at the time, and I'm still not completely certain I can find the words now, though I'm aware that my gushing sounds lame and cliched..
The immaculate detail in some of those sets is just beyond words... and the costumes. Don't even get me started on the costumes. The costume grauduate geek in me, when presented with what the below picture depicts... squealed something that should have come out as "Goodness! Look at that adorable hat block," but in reality, was more akin to "eeeeeeeeeeeeeezOMG..the hats.. and... look at.. look... eeeee BEUXBATONSUNIFORM"
Sigh.
As I do not wish to spoil it for anyone yet to go and wishing it to remain a surprise, so I will spoiler a photo-dump in addition to some carefully selected main images.
My photos are terrible by the way. I had my camera on the wrong setting the entire day.
That's not incorrect, technically...
Really though, this is a blog about this:
If you know me even the slightest bit, my love for Harry Potter is no secret. It has, quite simply, always been a part of my life... at least, for as long as I count memories important. I miss the days where there was a new book or a new movie to look forward to. I sort of almost miss the days where I found the conventions fun, before working at them ruined it for me... but I, without a doubt, would not be where I am today or have many of the friends I have today without that fandom...
I'm not sure I could have prepared myself for the studio tour though.
To say I was somewhat overwhelmed may be the understatement of the year so far... It was really hard to process at the time, and I'm still not completely certain I can find the words now, though I'm aware that my gushing sounds lame and cliched..
The immaculate detail in some of those sets is just beyond words... and the costumes. Don't even get me started on the costumes. The costume grauduate geek in me, when presented with what the below picture depicts... squealed something that should have come out as "Goodness! Look at that adorable hat block," but in reality, was more akin to "eeeeeeeeeeeeeezOMG..the hats.. and... look at.. look... eeeee BEUXBATONSUNIFORM"
Sigh.
As I do not wish to spoil it for anyone yet to go and wishing it to remain a surprise, so I will spoiler a photo-dump in addition to some carefully selected main images.
My photos are terrible by the way. I had my camera on the wrong setting the entire day.
Although, what lies at the very end of the tour has hardly been kept a secret.... I think I was even less prepared to be faced with a 1:24 scale model of Hogwarts, than I was the Knight Bus, Aragog, 4 Privet Drive, or the Potions classroom dungeon, or The Burrow... or.. Hagrid's hut... or Diagon Alley.
The sheer scale of it is breathtaking and really hard to put into words. In number terms... it's 50ft wide, and easily 35ft tall, taking into account it's positioned on a rocky elevation,
I would be lying if I was to deny getting somewhat choked up...
It wasn't just awe, it was this feeling of... I'm not even sure how to describe.
The feeling of... Holy shit, THIS is my childhood.
The feeling of... This will never happen again...
Of course, it will happen again, and it has by no means been the first... Fandom after fandom achieve incredible levels of following... but I feel like, for myself at least, there will always be a comparison to Harry Potter.
I feel sad, in a way, for new generations of fans. The 7 books and 8 movies are there to be read and watched in as quick a succession as they wish and, despite the months/years between each being tedious at the time, I wouldn't have wished it to be any other way.
I don't really know how to finish this blog. I feel like it has been very reflective.
I feel like I have spent too long writing it.
I pretty much just want to curl up and watch all of the movies back to back.
And reread them all.
And maybe go and work at the studio tour <3
So.. life.
What to say about life?
I just got ruthless with my wardrobe.. but given that I have no money to replace the things I chucked out, it may not have been the most intelligent idea. Felt good though.
I tidied everything up in the closet, and I'm going to straighten things up in here in a minute too. It's amazing what that does for some sort of mental clarity.
Work has clearly put me in the spring-cleaning frame of mind. We've been clearing up the studio in our down time after the craziness that was the BA2 choreography show. That was frantic... and I questioned my choice of career more than once but I really, honestly, couldn't imagine myself doing anything else.
Outside of my internship/ dance school work, I'm currently working on a plus size, maternity wedding dress. That ticks a WHOLE load of boxes in my portfolio that I hadn't yet covered, but I'm finding it way stressful already. Wedding dress pressure. Gah.
And a couple of things in the pipeline for miss Miro too, that I can't wait to get started on
The inevitable "what are you going to do once your internship is over" question is one that stresses me out more than the average inquisitive comment...
But despite the job stresses and money worries and lack of any kind of real security or sanctuary in my life right now... I am the most content and happy I have been in a very long time.
What does sadden me is the shit that has been said behind my back lately. Not necessarily sad because I give a damn, but more sad that some people are so deeply unhappy with their own lives that mine has to become the subject of such venom. I guess in THAT way I do need to stop caring.
With that said, I have met someone wonderful. Really, really wonderful.
And the next 47 days need to go by a hell of a lot quicker until GardenState is here with me.
That does, of course, denote how close I am to the end of said internship... I guess to answer "what happens next?", I just have to see what happens afterwards. Who knows what might come up... but I'll be doing that with my boyfriend on hand to save my sanity, as he has been so good at doing recently.
God knows, I'll need it.
And I still hate my hair.
Oh and my set just went up to 95%. When it's been up for nearly 2 years, this amuses me. But it is, of course, hugely appreciated too, despite there being very little real hope of it being bought any more.
What to say about life?
I just got ruthless with my wardrobe.. but given that I have no money to replace the things I chucked out, it may not have been the most intelligent idea. Felt good though.
I tidied everything up in the closet, and I'm going to straighten things up in here in a minute too. It's amazing what that does for some sort of mental clarity.
Work has clearly put me in the spring-cleaning frame of mind. We've been clearing up the studio in our down time after the craziness that was the BA2 choreography show. That was frantic... and I questioned my choice of career more than once but I really, honestly, couldn't imagine myself doing anything else.
Outside of my internship/ dance school work, I'm currently working on a plus size, maternity wedding dress. That ticks a WHOLE load of boxes in my portfolio that I hadn't yet covered, but I'm finding it way stressful already. Wedding dress pressure. Gah.
And a couple of things in the pipeline for miss Miro too, that I can't wait to get started on
The inevitable "what are you going to do once your internship is over" question is one that stresses me out more than the average inquisitive comment...
But despite the job stresses and money worries and lack of any kind of real security or sanctuary in my life right now... I am the most content and happy I have been in a very long time.
What does sadden me is the shit that has been said behind my back lately. Not necessarily sad because I give a damn, but more sad that some people are so deeply unhappy with their own lives that mine has to become the subject of such venom. I guess in THAT way I do need to stop caring.
With that said, I have met someone wonderful. Really, really wonderful.
And the next 47 days need to go by a hell of a lot quicker until GardenState is here with me.
That does, of course, denote how close I am to the end of said internship... I guess to answer "what happens next?", I just have to see what happens afterwards. Who knows what might come up... but I'll be doing that with my boyfriend on hand to save my sanity, as he has been so good at doing recently.
God knows, I'll need it.
And I still hate my hair.
Oh and my set just went up to 95%. When it's been up for nearly 2 years, this amuses me. But it is, of course, hugely appreciated too, despite there being very little real hope of it being bought any more.
Sometimes, when something changes... it feels so natural that it's almost like these new feelings were there all along. You question how new they are.
When something comes so effortlessly, you struggle to remember it ever not being there.
You fail to work out where the change happened.
Something clicked.
He's turning me into a huge, blushing girl.
Fuck it
I'm not going anywhere <3
When something comes so effortlessly, you struggle to remember it ever not being there.
You fail to work out where the change happened.
Something clicked.
He's turning me into a huge, blushing girl.
Fuck it
I'm not going anywhere <3
That Reuben. What a bitch, huh.
This is the kind of feeling that could be considered as a character flaw.
I'm struggling a bit lately.
Struggling with people.
Struggling with money.
Struggling with myself, really....
It's nothing I won’t handle. It just makes things difficult.
The weather is sporadically getting better though... and that does me the world of good.
It's been beautiful outside this week. I like having the windows open. I like not having to wear a million layers. I like the feel of fresh air on skin, and the smell of the spring.
I miss the feeling of skin on skin.
Life throws you lifelines when you least expect it.
Things that keep you afloat. Reasons to smile.
I’ve been smiling, and not drowning. Something is happening, though I’m not sure what I do with it. It’s the sort of thing I had become accustomed to running from. People. But those smiles are more and more frequent so I’m trying to stay put.
To be honest. It's not even taking all that much trying.
It's the sort of thing the gives me butterflies.
This is the kind of feeling that could be considered as a character flaw.
I'm struggling a bit lately.
Struggling with people.
Struggling with money.
Struggling with myself, really....
It's nothing I won’t handle. It just makes things difficult.
The weather is sporadically getting better though... and that does me the world of good.
It's been beautiful outside this week. I like having the windows open. I like not having to wear a million layers. I like the feel of fresh air on skin, and the smell of the spring.
I miss the feeling of skin on skin.
Life throws you lifelines when you least expect it.
Things that keep you afloat. Reasons to smile.
I’ve been smiling, and not drowning. Something is happening, though I’m not sure what I do with it. It’s the sort of thing I had become accustomed to running from. People. But those smiles are more and more frequent so I’m trying to stay put.
To be honest. It's not even taking all that much trying.
It's the sort of thing the gives me butterflies.
As chatters, we lost one of our own recently.
melaniek was so very wonderful and beautiful and sarcastic and loving and funny. And stong. So strong.
Seeing people pull together, to comfort each other and share memories of her gave me back some of my love for chat. The hardest thing was seeing people hurting, and not be able to physically comfort them.
I had been feeling somewhat jaded by the whole chat thing lately. But it reminded me that as a result of chat I have some of the most amazing people in my life, that I could ever have asked for.
I guess you can't fault that.
No blogs in the whole of February?
Here's something pretty to look at to make up for it...
Last weekend involved a LOT of pretty.
Dwam shooting Saiylor
Lavezzaro shooting Miro
So many pretty ladies <3.
It's a hard life
Yeah.
Finally got my iPhone. Little bit addicted to instagram.
Add ReubyD, go on.
Hair update:
Longest it's been in at least 3 years.
That's about all I have to say right now. Work has been busy, at Laban at least.
Still need more freelance work.
Still need to take people more seriously when they say they will commission something from me.
Still need more confidence in my own abilities.
Here's something pretty to look at to make up for it...
Last weekend involved a LOT of pretty.
Dwam shooting Saiylor
Lavezzaro shooting Miro
So many pretty ladies <3.
It's a hard life
Yeah.
Finally got my iPhone. Little bit addicted to instagram.
Add ReubyD, go on.
Hair update:
Longest it's been in at least 3 years.
That's about all I have to say right now. Work has been busy, at Laban at least.
Still need more freelance work.
Still need to take people more seriously when they say they will commission something from me.
Still need more confidence in my own abilities.
Hey, cuz I told a certain Miss SillyK I would wear the shirt rather than just waving it around on cam...
aaaaand.. that's all I have to say.
OH, no wait... and this: http://reubydoomsday.blogspot.com/
<3
aaaaand.. that's all I have to say.
OH, no wait... and this: http://reubydoomsday.blogspot.com/
<3
I'm having somewhat of a minor hair crisis.
Every time it comes to "ugh you're annoying me" length I always fight with myself about whether or not I am growing it or chopping it off.
By the time it reaches "MY GOD I HATE YOU" length I'm still none the wiser as to what I want to do.
It only got to the current length it is through a combination of laziness and a bad previous haircut.
Though that was only bad in the way the back was still a weird length though I suppose.
Now it's all just a weird length and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO
(To be fair this picture makes it look vaguely tolerable, because I'm too vain to have taken one that shows how it really currently looks)
Seriously.
Bandanas and beanies.
Every time it comes to "ugh you're annoying me" length I always fight with myself about whether or not I am growing it or chopping it off.
By the time it reaches "MY GOD I HATE YOU" length I'm still none the wiser as to what I want to do.
It only got to the current length it is through a combination of laziness and a bad previous haircut.
Though that was only bad in the way the back was still a weird length though I suppose.
Now it's all just a weird length and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO
(To be fair this picture makes it look vaguely tolerable, because I'm too vain to have taken one that shows how it really currently looks)
Seriously.
Bandanas and beanies.
I kinda like the idea of new year; new start and all that, but 2012 is just another number isn't it? It can join all the other numbers that plague my life along with ages, deadlines and waist measurements... and don't even get me started on weighing scales.
2011 was a busy year for me I guess, though it didn’t feel like it at the time. It was a year that started in the company of good friends so I tried to keep that up, making sure I made the effort to see the people that mean the most to me. Life’s short, you know? I had never lived for the weekends as much as I did for the first 9 months of last year.
A lot of stuff happened though. 2011 saw (most of) my first ever trip to America, the diagnosis of an anxiety disorder that everyone except me already appeared to know I had, several changes of hairstyle/colour, the start of a tattoo I have been talking about for years, my foot tentatively wedged in the door of a career I studied for 3 years for and, as a result, a move back to London after over a year of slogging my ass off at Silverstone doing nothing relevant with my life.
I made friends, lost friends, missed friends, moved in with friends, got back in contact with old friends.
I rediscovered all the reasons I worked my ass off for 3 years on a Costume degree.
So, I suppose things changed a lot.
There was also a lot of this:
But then, when isn’t there in my life? Miss Reuben fidgetpants.
As for that anxiety disorder, most of the time it doesn’t bother me... but when it hits me, it hits me pretty hard. Last week for example, waking up at 4am to find that all I really wanted to do was hide under my blankets all day and cry was kind of rough.
Instead, I hid behind my makeup and tried not to smudge it.
Brave faces, girls. Brave faces.
It was brought on by a conversation from the night before that had left me quite upset, apparently sleeping on these things isn’t actually as constructive as they would let you believe. I had some good people talk me down from my escalating hysteria though, which was massively appreciated. After that, well, it was like I had to hit that point before what was bothering me was able to be done with. It’s not there at the forefront of my mind anymore at least...
If I was to make any sort of resolution it might be to start letting myself make mistakes again. I have become so overly cautious, so afraid to DO anything or let anyone into my life and it has become somewhat socially crippling. I save myself from whatever I imagine these situations could lead to... by... being awkward? Stopping them before they even start?
Forming connections with people I initially see as being too far away to get under my skin and therefore unable to hurt me?
The latter, well, that saves me from nothing of course.
That simply gets me into more trouble.
But... in order for me to let myself make mistakes, other people need to start letting me make them too.
Other than that, I need to drink more water and smile more.
2012 is off to a good start. I have costumes and networking to concentrate on.
And not to dwell too much on that grass is greener idea...
Hi, London
Oh and...
Small things like this make my brain happy:
Organising my life in colour spectrum order? Yes please!
They love it at work when I get my hands on the thread drawers.
2011 was a busy year for me I guess, though it didn’t feel like it at the time. It was a year that started in the company of good friends so I tried to keep that up, making sure I made the effort to see the people that mean the most to me. Life’s short, you know? I had never lived for the weekends as much as I did for the first 9 months of last year.
A lot of stuff happened though. 2011 saw (most of) my first ever trip to America, the diagnosis of an anxiety disorder that everyone except me already appeared to know I had, several changes of hairstyle/colour, the start of a tattoo I have been talking about for years, my foot tentatively wedged in the door of a career I studied for 3 years for and, as a result, a move back to London after over a year of slogging my ass off at Silverstone doing nothing relevant with my life.
I made friends, lost friends, missed friends, moved in with friends, got back in contact with old friends.
I rediscovered all the reasons I worked my ass off for 3 years on a Costume degree.
So, I suppose things changed a lot.
There was also a lot of this:
But then, when isn’t there in my life? Miss Reuben fidgetpants.
As for that anxiety disorder, most of the time it doesn’t bother me... but when it hits me, it hits me pretty hard. Last week for example, waking up at 4am to find that all I really wanted to do was hide under my blankets all day and cry was kind of rough.
Instead, I hid behind my makeup and tried not to smudge it.
Brave faces, girls. Brave faces.
It was brought on by a conversation from the night before that had left me quite upset, apparently sleeping on these things isn’t actually as constructive as they would let you believe. I had some good people talk me down from my escalating hysteria though, which was massively appreciated. After that, well, it was like I had to hit that point before what was bothering me was able to be done with. It’s not there at the forefront of my mind anymore at least...
If I was to make any sort of resolution it might be to start letting myself make mistakes again. I have become so overly cautious, so afraid to DO anything or let anyone into my life and it has become somewhat socially crippling. I save myself from whatever I imagine these situations could lead to... by... being awkward? Stopping them before they even start?
Forming connections with people I initially see as being too far away to get under my skin and therefore unable to hurt me?
The latter, well, that saves me from nothing of course.
That simply gets me into more trouble.
But... in order for me to let myself make mistakes, other people need to start letting me make them too.
Other than that, I need to drink more water and smile more.
2012 is off to a good start. I have costumes and networking to concentrate on.
And not to dwell too much on that grass is greener idea...
Hi, London
Oh and...
Small things like this make my brain happy:
Organising my life in colour spectrum order? Yes please!
They love it at work when I get my hands on the thread drawers.
