WOW its been forever...lets see whats new. a few new ex girlfriends, a few friends gained (but many more lost), my VA disability was approved so im getting a nice check every month in addition to the 5 years they HAVENT been paying me (a five digit sum), new apartment, new job, new car, newly renewed membership.

I now work at the army war college cutting grass, cleaning up leaves and removing snow. i absolutely hate it, but i wont get into why because, without fail, shit ALWAYS somehow manages to get back to the project manager.

Since i hated living in the little hick town i used to live and needed to get away from my cocksucking landlord, i figured id move to carlisle. nice new place, new furniture, and its only a 4 minute drive to work. i can actually see the admin offices on base through the perimeter fence if i go out on the porch.

The new car is much better than the old malibu my aunt sold me. its a black 2012 ford fiesta se and, at less than 200 miles when i bought it, probably the newest car ill ever own. after a couple weeks of driving it though i noticed the transmission wasnt shifting right. i brought it up to the guys at the service department and they fed me some company line of "it just isnt broken in yet". uh after 7000 miles its a bit more fucking serious than that. its stripping gears and fucking with my fuel economy. FIX IT. so theyre gonna do just that next saturday.

PG

havent been on here long enough to post anything in months so lets see whats changed:
i still work at shari's berries for $9.25 an hour but now i HATE working there and am desperately trying to find another job. im single now, i lost interest in stephanie. were still friends (though she moved to montana with her dad). i live in a different town. i found out that the ridiculously cute black/hispanic i work with every day has a boyfriend. i cant afford to pay my bills. i have my ex fiance thinking about becoming a suicide girl. i think thats it im going to bed

PG

havent been online in....months. alots happened since. made it through the busiest time of year at work. moved in to a house with steph in new cumberland. parents got me a new hd tv for christmas to replace the floor model that broke. got passed over for promotion to team member at work. still think stephs daughter is an ungrateful whiny little brat. my iphone broke. again. so im currently sitting in starbucks with my laptop trying to sync my new iphone to my computer because apple is retarded and requires you to be online to activate/restore an iphone. pisses me off. changed my meds. got a new car stereo and plan to get it installed tonight. i think thats about it

so im home for the first night in close to a week and not looking forward to typing everything thats happened....

before i forget to mention, steph is only 24 (not 26) and her two kids are 4 and 5 and live with their dad due to financial hardship on stephs part.

so those free tickets to see zombieland last thursday? i ended up going with amandas friend stephanie. we hit things off AMAZINGLY. we got lost trying to wind walmart because some stupid app on my iphone got us lost in a sea of construction and one-way streets and almost missed the beginning of the movie. we got stuck sitting way up front because a shitload of people won the same tickets we did. the movie is HYSTERICAL. loved it. we went to wendys right across the street when the movie ended and decided to go see 9 as soon as we were done eating. on the walk back to the theater i called amanda and asked if i could stay the night at her place again and she said that it would be fine. we saw the movie (awesome and a little disappointing at the same time) then i went to drop steph back off at her place when she asked me if i wanted to just stay at her place. i had work the next day and it was really late. i started getting comfortable on the couch when she grabbed my hand and drug me upstairs. obviously i was a little worried. by this time i had already started to really like her and i was afraid she would fuck me and be just like every other girl ive ever been with.

it was like she had everything planned before she even left the house. she has this weird bed that has a tiny frame and mattress that slides out from under her bed already set up for me. she laid on her upper mattress and i started getting comfortable on mine when she started poking me. obviously i started poking back and then we just ended up wrestling. eventually i pinned her and went to give her a kiss on the forehead as she was moving it and i ended up kissing her lips instead. amazingly enough she went with it and started really getting into it (i had no intention of sleeping with her at this point but was curious to see how far she would take it). after a few minutes of making out she told me that im an amazing kisser and said that wed better stop because its really hard for her to be good. perfect. shes definitely different from the other girls ive met. she decided to stay on my mattress and cuddle all night. best nights sleep i had in a while.

the hext day at work i got a email on my phone from my ex fiance saying 'lets fuck and make up'. i replied 'ill think about it' with no intention of actually ever seeing her again. i just didnt feel like pissing her off. its always a bad idea to piss off the crazy bitch who knows a million different ways to get ahold of you. anyway, she responded with 'you know you miss this hot wet pussy. its waiting for you'. i showed the email to a couple coworkers and we all got a good laugh out of it. i didnt bother replying. later that night i went to my parent place, got a shower and left for maryland to spend the weekend with caitlin. as soon as i got down there we went to bed. got up at 5:30 saturday to catch the bus to nyc. walked around, got disappointed when i found out the virgin records store closed and even more so when i forgot where FUSE (like mtv but it actually plays alot of music i really like) filmed my fav show on the channel called stevens untitled rock show. ate at applebees, went to see Whip It (didnt have a whole lot of faith in the movie but it was a REALLY good movie), walked around toys r us cause it was there. while i was in there i thought of steph and the kids but really didnt know what to get them. walked to planet hollywood and got a cool looking shirt for steph and happened to guess her shirt size right. then the closest merch stand and got two tiny I <3 NY shirts for the kids. got lost on the subway system, got even more lost in central park, FINALLY found grays papaya. ive wanted to eat one of their hotdogs since i saw the movie Fools Rush In. their hotdogs really are that good. stopped at a diner and had some kickass cheesecake then walked back to the coffee shop we were supposed to meet the but at. got back to hood college around 4am. went to sleep as soon as we got there. the entire day caitlin would ask me random questions about steph. i hated it. i KNOW caitlin likes me. shes told me flat-out she wants me to be her boyfriend. shes just too good a friend for me to take the chance fo fucking it up. and she lives two hours away. id never see her. i cant be with somebody without actually BEING WITH them.

woke up just in time to see The Hangover (hood college bought the rights to show the movie for the weekend). pretty funny movie. as soon as it ended i went back up to see steph again. went to taco bell and watched some tv before going to bed. same thing as the last night i slept at her place happened. only things didnt stop....i was terrified it would make things complicated but she was surprisingly okay with it. even more surprising, I was okay with it. i was genuinely happy. im happy whenever i think about her and even more so when im with her. we both appear to be everything the other is looking for.

three days ago my ex fiance sent me another email wanting to talk to me. so i told her that my girlfriend (unofficial) wouldnt appreciate me talking to her. her response was to tell me that she had been cheating on me most of the time we were together and even said that she would take her ring off to go fuck around with people. and said that when she said she was with her friend tonya she was actually with this ductin douchebag whos twice her age. naturally, this would piss me off so i told her that ever time we messed around after i dumped her she got sloppy seconds (not entirely untrue. she deserved much worse than that). before i got a chance to block her email, she told me that i was always getting dustins sloppy seconds and that she had been fucking him for over a year. i pointed out that bragging about cheating makes her sound like a whore and that if i ever saw her again i would be the last to see her. then i blocked her.
wasnt quite satisfied so i sent her another email today :
"I blocked your email and it must piss you off that I don't get your messages. I'm so much better off without you I don't know why I wasted my tine talking to you again. Oh yea. The rest of the money for that car I bought you that your stupid ass couldn't even drive. I know I was never going to get my money and I'm glad I got rid of you for the last time. Whether or not you actually ever cheated doesn't even bother me anymore. I'm with a beautiful woman who's mature and sweet and can ACTUALLY mother a child. Good riddance to you. Fuck you and have a nice life"

i feel pretty good about myself. i have a girl who loves spending time with me and cant wait to see me again. i have a steady job that i actually like. i hope things keep looking up

--PG

havent been online too much in the last week. at all really. havent been home. alot of shit going on. none too bad though. jobs going good. i met stephanie and we hit it off amazingly. were everything short of an official couple right now. my ex fiance is a vengeful little cunt. more on these developments when i get more time to type. now, im going to bed

--PG

for some reason i decided it would be a good idea to try and get to work the same way i got home last night. one of those classic 'you cant get there from here' things. somefuckinghow i ended up on the north side of route 581 and i dont even remember going through an underpass. showed up at work just in time to throw on an apron and hairnet and start working. eric didnt show up today and neither did the guy who usually runs the strawberry dipping room so donna took charge of everything. she picked the worst fucking day to decide that everybody is going to have a specific daily job. she expected roberto to immediately start packing baskets and its only his first day. she had enrique on the packing line and yesterday was his first day. i was stuck working with stephanie again with the baskets. she slow and stubborn and looks at me weird every single time i say 'fuck'. shes just that special kind of socially awkward that makes you uncomfortable to be within ten feet of her. i really hope erics at work tomorrow. what time i didnt spend making baskets i spent folding two pallets of boxes. fifteen rows of ten each. in the time it took roberto to fill half a pallet. those damned boxes buffed my fingers glossy and i think im missing my fingerprints.

i entered a radio text contest last week. i got a text message from the station saying i won. two tickets to see zombieland at the camp hill theater (which one i have no idea) at 7:30 on thursday. ive been trying to get ahold of AZ the last couple days...she lives around harrisburg and doesnt have many friends in the area. what a coincidence. i dont have any friends in the area. id be cool if i could take her but im not gonna hold my breath. big reds woman wants me to swing by their place tomorrow. she wants to make me dinner. shes just as nice as red is a dick lol. then she put the guilt trip on me that i didnt wish her happy birthday two weeks ago. oops. so now i gotta go to the bar with them and resist the temptation to drink. shouldnt be too difficult. amanda said she wants to introduce me to her cute single friend steph (cool) who is 26 (yikes) and has two kids (uh oh). if things go well i may have a date for the movie. or at least somebody to hang out with after work once in a while. amanda wants me to stay the night at their place tomorrow which means shell probably have me out all night. im curious if shes going to have steph stay the night too. thats how she hooked me up with megan.......ponderous

--PG

so work went pretty well today. for some damn reason eric put ME in charge of training the two new people who started today. with all the stress from that the day went by pretty fast. got home and saw that the SG magazine i ordered last month finally showed up. the envelops was open when i got to it. i can understand my dad accidentally opening my bank statement. we bank the same place and hes not used to my statements showing up in the mail yet. but this is a big fucking envelope. with my name on it. i told him i was expecting a package since the day i moved in. and he opened MY mail. if he tries to judge me im going to raise fucking hell. piercings and tattoos arent 'inappropriate' or 'skanky' of 'dirty' theyre a fucking lifestyle.

i know this is my parents house and they have rules. i respect that. but i have my fucking rite to privacy and i expect them to respect THAT. i already know my parents judge me because ive bounced from girl to girl while my little brother has been with the same one for five years. im into tattoos and piercings and he isnt. were into completely different things. so were different. its not my parents failure as such that i am who i am. i chose who i am and i may not like my decision most of the time but i live with it and make the best of the bed ive made. my parents have stood by me through some very tough times and i love them to death. they had my back when i enlisted. they were supportive when i was called to duty. they were there to meet me when i returned from iraq. they supported me moving out and offered help whenever i needed it. they let me move back in when my financial situation left me without an apartment. theyve always done all they could for me. almost. i deserve the respect of a little fucking privacy. i dont think thats much to ask. im not expecting to be out all night getting fucking trashed. pretty much, if im not at work, im here. i dont just up and leave for days at a time. i dont even know where i was going with this. fucking ADD. im tired. im going to play Jericho for half an hour then going to bed. for some reason not looking forward to work in the morning. i miss working 2-10 at the truck stop.

--PG

woke up. watched broken arrow and an episode of top gear with my dad. hung out with the ex fiance. shes such a bitch. i wont be seeing her again. watched sleepy hollow. id still sell my soul for a night with christina ricci. now im going to bed

--PG

stopped at a gas station to get a half gallon of tea on my way to work and ended up finding the only gas station on dauphin county that doesnt sell tea. walked out with two liters of mountain dew. the mideastern guy behind the counter was real nice. its the TOO friendly guys im worried about. i dont know if they really love america and everybody who walks in the gas station and buys shit or if theyre just trying too hard and secretly wish we would all just fucking die so they can continue their little holy war

met our quota at work by lunch. half day. fuck yea i came back home and napped until my ex fiance texted me and asked if i wanted to see jennifers body with her. i didnt have anything else going on. its pretty sad that i dont even consider her a friend and i see her more often that the people i do consider friends. like REALLY sad

--PG

okay fo my first day of work was actually pretty cool. i showed up half an hour early, got introduced to people id be working with and was handed off to maria so she could show me how to arrange gift baskets (think hickory farms). after a couple hours i was told to help john pack the baskets in boxes and put shipping labels on them. the automatic taping machine fucking hates me and likes ripping apart my boxes and taping the pieces together. real fucking annoying. everybody seems good humored though. and very patient. boss man (eric) is a kickass ex military joker. he was busting my balls all day but said he was amazed with how quickly i was learning. im actually kind of looking forward to work in the morning. lets see how long this lasts

oh yea. some jerkoff in a scout wouldnt let me merge on the way home so i ended up passing my exit. while trying to find my way back to the right intersection i got myself hopelessly lost in suburbia hell. the closest i got to 581 was a fence separating me and it. real fucking annoying. eventually made it back to 581. west. fuck. i needed east. didnt feel like dicking around with traffic anymore so i drove through the grass and hopped on eastbound. good thing i have new tires on the car. the old ones probably would have left me stuck. then id have no choice but to wait for the cops to show up and give me a ticket and then help me out. from now on i know to stay in the right lane. if i see that fucker in the scout tomorrow im gonna peg him in the head with an ice scraper

--PG