I am taking small steps toward the change to temper myself for the unknown. And to be honest I do have fears. I would be a fool to say I do not. My father told me the greatest advice when I was very young and afraid of my own imagination come nightfall - "It's ok to be afraid, just don't let it get the best of you".

So on Wednesday I went for my job interview, the first step in causing chaos in my life. I say chaos because things are pretty orderly right now. Overall I believe it went well. I have more than enough experience to fulfill the position, but one detail popped up during the interview that may make me change my mind: it is a nighttime position, covering either the 4-12 shift, ot the 12-8 shift. And they expect weekend work. This would cut into my social time tremendously, which is a main reason why I am leaving my current job. I have no time to meet people, most of all women, and if I do, who wants to put up a crazy night schedule?

As of now, I am simply weighing my options. The pay is better than what I'm making now, and I suppose that I could always quit this job as well if things don't work out. But no sense in stressing about things...

Right now, I simply want to drink and relax.

Have a good weekend, all!!

hi

how is everyone?

I've been suffering from blogger's block for quite some time now. Maybe it could be that I've become entangled in the mundane drone of life. To coin a phrase, I've been Rip-van-Winkled, alseep and unaware of the passage of time. But now I'm awake, seeing the stagnation sufficating me and giving no path other than a circular one. And I've worn it out.

So now I'm striving to break the cycle. I've spoken of this in the past, but lacked the strength to complete the journey. My inner fires died to a smoldering ember, barely alive. But things have happened in the past few weeks that knocked the ember around and completely re-ingited the fire. Strike while the iron is hot, some would say. I agree. So in this spirit I'm putting in my notice to work that I've chosen other seas to sail.

Where this will lead, I do not know. I'm very apprehensive with this decision, but my happiness and sanity are at stake. We are not our jobs. Our jobs should be an extension of ourselves, a means of making a living. But when it comsumes all the life from you, takes the joy from your days, it's time to assess where the focus lies.

*sigh*

Strength is what I need. I know difficulties are ahead. I just have to calm myself and build up my confidence before walking willingly into the fire... and hope I don't get burned too badly.

this fucking heat is brutal...

blah

If I had to pick one word to describe this weekend's game, it would be 'devastation'. We outscored the competition 26 to 1. All the endurance training and evenings practicing in the heat really paid off. Now we have two weeks til our next match. Beware, Kansas City!

I have my first gaelic football this weekend and I can't wait! Since starting in March, I've put a lot of time into training and working on skills. My lungs are in good shape compared to where I was when I started. Even though I was in good shape before, my endurance was lacking. Now I can run continously and not feel like I'm going to pass out. At least not from lack of air. The heat, however, is another matter...

Hopefully I'll get some pics to post.

she doesn't call, she doesn't write... one-sided relationships can be extremely frustrating. and I use the word 'relationship' in the most minimal sense of the word.

she says, 'call me.' so i do. but I get no reply to my voicemails. she says, 'email me.' but i recieve no response.

I fear my head and a wall shall soon meet repeatidly if I cannot figure out this girl.

we shall see who wins: me or the wall.

damn... it's gotten very warm here

I'm not ready for hot weather

I passed a strangely outfitted car this afternoon. It had what appeared to be a red light on top of a 3-foot rod. I though maybe it was an escort vehicle for some oversized semi. But when I passed it, I noticed a business decal on the side. It was a Google Maps car! Then I got to thinking - some guy is getting paid to drive around with some sort of GPS making sure the maps are accurate and coordinates are correct. I'd like to think he'd have this big old fashion cross-country trip paid for by the Google company. The wierder the location, the better. Pretty cool.

Other than that, some grim weather news. More tornadoes have hit the state. I think we're up to 22 people killed and about 50 funnel clouds on the ground for the year. Things are crazy this year. I've been lucky so far, as well as my family. But I feel bad for those who are losing houses, and loved ones. More storms are predicted for tomorrow and Wednesday. We'll see what happens.

It's Cinco de Mayo, and for those who no hablo espanol, the fifth of May. Generally celebrated as a Mexican heritage day, we chose it as a reason to drink lots and talk in foreign accents... hey, that's just like St. Patty's day!!! People think Americans can be too conservative in their views, but we'll adopt any holiday if it gives an acceptable reason to party. Long live the melting pot mentality!

So to celebrate, I met a friend of mine at one of the greatest influences from Mexico: the mexican restaurant. I don't see how this country ever got along without the simplistic but delicious creations of the tamale, burrito, and the classic taco. Since it was during lunch, I had to abstain from any liquor, but we still had un tiempo fantastico. It seems at times we have grown distant, but when we are together, all that falls away and we converse about whatever comes to mind. The laughter, the stories, the genuine outpouring... it all seems to go by so fast. es la vida.

So this evening I've made up for missing out on drinking during lunch. Large forzen margaritas are the perfect way to end a day in honor of Mexican heritage. Salud, amigos!!