Well here it come again. Valentines day. I hate this holiday. Not because of the commercialism or anything like that. No I hate it for the hope it brings me every year. Every year it brings me that hope that I'll be with someone who cares about me and who will make my v-day special. Every year it seems something fucks that away. So here is to another lonely and loathsome Valentines day. I hope yours is a good one.

So I haven't posted her in a while. Not sure anybody follows this but what the hell. So since the new year I gained and lost a girlfriend. She still wants to be friends with bennies. Weird but okay I guess. My car has been good so I am thinking that it is about to explode. I have nothing to bitch about wish is refreshing. I miss my kids but that is about all. I hope things are going well for you... Whoever reads this. I wish you all the best.

So 2009 sucked. Her is hoping for a better year.

Got the ticket to go see my boys in NY. I am so excited. I also got my car fixed so I am mobile. Woot for being able to go places. I also managed to find someone to play with. Go me. The end of this year is strating to look better than the rest. Still time for shit to fuck up. So here is hoping.

A favorite quote. "You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun."

So the wish I was braver comment was in regards to speaking with women. I honestly have no idea what I am doing anymore. Once upon a time I could chat some hottie and and not sweat it. I used to be able to get dates numbers and laid. I used to be good at this. Was it cause I didn't care or what. I used to be brave. I sing Karaoke I am not afraid of weapons. I have no fear of a physical confrontation. Stick a woman in front of me I am attracted to and you are lucky if I can say "I like bread." Saturday is a great example. I was being hit on by a relatively good looking woman. I mean really flirted with. So much so I noticed. Did I close the deal you ask? Did I slip her my digits or ask for hers.... no I froze. *sigh* I just wish I was a bit braver.