Does anybody know Mei? I don't, but in a way I do. I found her on this site, and she is incredible. I can't stop reading about her. And ironically, I am listening (right now as I write this) to Pink Floyd's "Great Gig in the sky," the part where there is a female vocalist doing her solo which was completely improvised and required only one take. I imagine Mei would appreciate this.

I don't understand her, but then I think I do. I want to be her, and do what she does, but I can't...I don't know how to. I'm not arty, but I am in a way. I always think that I couldn't be an artist, but now I think I could. I'd be a really different kind of artist...but aren't they all different. That's what makes an artist what they are. I'm even writing this journal entry like Mei. I didn't really mean to write it this way, but it's just coming out like this.

She does things so impulsively, yet there seems to be a sort of chaotic order to her decisions. She seems so sure about herself, yet you'd think someone who acted the way she did would be completely scattered and lost.

Where is she? I have no idea. I can't be like her, but I know I can. I just need to throw all my uncertainties and worries out of the window and do it my way. But what would I do with all of my possessions? I always think about this. I've acquired so much "stuff" over time. Sometimes I just look at it...piled up in the corners of all the rooms in my flat, and I realise that I don't need half of this stuff. Every time I buy something that comes in a box of its own, I keep the box. Shoes, camera, amplifier, headphones, router, computer, blender, tv, shoes, lamps etc. I keep all these boxes because I think that you can never be short of boxes. I think that when I move house, (inevitably), I'll need boxes to put all my stuff in. And what better box to put something in than the box it came in? After all, it will fit perfectly.

It's a long shot, but I'd like to meet her. How will I ever do this? I don't know.

I've finished this post...and I want to delete it now by pressing the back button like Mei would do, but I don't want to because I am me and I don't do those sort of things. I want this to be read, but it's private...so in a way I don't want anyone to read it except Mei.