You know.. no, you don't. Nobody reads these posts. That's why I never make them. Which is why nobody ever reads them. A vicious, vicious circle, that one is.
I never know what to say in these blogs. I'm not an interesting person. My life is plain and normal; I don't do interesting things.
Perhaps I should just write stories here. Maybe someone would read them. I highly doubt it. Who reads the posts on some guy's blog? I know I don't. But, then again, I hardly read anyone's blog these days. I suppose I should, if only to stay connected.
Maybe I should make friends with some of my favorite SGs? I've thought of doing that for a long time. I just don't want to come off as some creepy guy.. but, to be honest, I prolly am just some creepy guy after all.
I try to always comment on sets I look at, even old ones. I get responses sometimes, just simple thank-yous, but they still make me happy. I've always felt that an intelligible, constructive comment would be appreciated. The girls here get tons of those, I'm sure, despite the sheer mass of "I loved it"s from the faceless masses. Finding the time to respond to me personally.. now that's cool.
Anyway.. I'll quit rambling for the time being. I fear I'm not making much sense, and the coffee I had at Denny's is starting to wear off. :p
- RC
I never know what to say in these blogs. I'm not an interesting person. My life is plain and normal; I don't do interesting things.
Perhaps I should just write stories here. Maybe someone would read them. I highly doubt it. Who reads the posts on some guy's blog? I know I don't. But, then again, I hardly read anyone's blog these days. I suppose I should, if only to stay connected.
Maybe I should make friends with some of my favorite SGs? I've thought of doing that for a long time. I just don't want to come off as some creepy guy.. but, to be honest, I prolly am just some creepy guy after all.
I try to always comment on sets I look at, even old ones. I get responses sometimes, just simple thank-yous, but they still make me happy. I've always felt that an intelligible, constructive comment would be appreciated. The girls here get tons of those, I'm sure, despite the sheer mass of "I loved it"s from the faceless masses. Finding the time to respond to me personally.. now that's cool.
Anyway.. I'll quit rambling for the time being. I fear I'm not making much sense, and the coffee I had at Denny's is starting to wear off. :p
- RC
I've been gone a while.. looks like some nice things have been happening to the site while I was gone. Bought Buckcherry's latest album for my iPod.. it's actually really good and a fun listen, esp. if you're the type that likes rock and roll. "Crazy Bitch" and "Next 2 You" are my favorites of the moment.
Spent some time with my father tonight gluing models together; in my case, I was working on my Eldar Guardians.. that also went okay. My main problem doing detailed work like that is that my hands shake quite a bit after a while. My hands never used to shake.. what gives? ah, well.
I have a new car, bought it from my cousin (Okay, it's just new to me.). Now I just need to get my license. Starrting my new job Monday. Wish meluck.
- RC
Spent some time with my father tonight gluing models together; in my case, I was working on my Eldar Guardians.. that also went okay. My main problem doing detailed work like that is that my hands shake quite a bit after a while. My hands never used to shake.. what gives? ah, well.
I have a new car, bought it from my cousin (Okay, it's just new to me.). Now I just need to get my license. Starrting my new job Monday. Wish meluck.
- RC
I think I give up.
Not that I'm going to kill myself or anything.
Maybe get drunk. Drunk sounds good.
- RC
Not that I'm going to kill myself or anything.
Maybe get drunk. Drunk sounds good.
- RC
I hate having feelings.
You see, the problem is that feelings are, pretty much by definition, irrational. And, even more irrationally, the feelings in question are over a person that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really exist.
I suppose I should back up a bit and explain. All of you people reading this (yes, all, uh, three of you) don't really exist, or at least not to me. That's fine, though, because I don't exist to you either; that's the nature of the 'Net. We all have the potential to exist to each other, of course, and some of us already do. There only barrier is distance, I suppose, but even that can be overcome given the will to do so. All sort of problems exist even if you do arrange a meeting.. but I'm going to assume that we are all savvy enough to figure those out. Heh.
So anyway, my problem stems from the fact that I've developed a crush. Online. A crush! Me! I'm 25 freakin' years old! Am I that braindead? Online people tend to be balding 40ish guys that you'd see lurking around high schools in vans! Well, that's a bit extreme, maybe, but still! You see the problem I'm having here, yes?
Now the simple solution would be to turn off said feelings. That's usually easy enough.. I've succeeded at doing that more often than not. Unfortunately, it's complicated by the fact that I've been alone so damn long, and the more I try to push it away with reason and rationality, the more it makes me, well, unreasonable and irrational. Which, frankly, sucks.
I have to exercise will. Discipline. Control.
I feel so cold...
- RC
You see, the problem is that feelings are, pretty much by definition, irrational. And, even more irrationally, the feelings in question are over a person that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really exist.
I suppose I should back up a bit and explain. All of you people reading this (yes, all, uh, three of you) don't really exist, or at least not to me. That's fine, though, because I don't exist to you either; that's the nature of the 'Net. We all have the potential to exist to each other, of course, and some of us already do. There only barrier is distance, I suppose, but even that can be overcome given the will to do so. All sort of problems exist even if you do arrange a meeting.. but I'm going to assume that we are all savvy enough to figure those out. Heh.
So anyway, my problem stems from the fact that I've developed a crush. Online. A crush! Me! I'm 25 freakin' years old! Am I that braindead? Online people tend to be balding 40ish guys that you'd see lurking around high schools in vans! Well, that's a bit extreme, maybe, but still! You see the problem I'm having here, yes?
Now the simple solution would be to turn off said feelings. That's usually easy enough.. I've succeeded at doing that more often than not. Unfortunately, it's complicated by the fact that I've been alone so damn long, and the more I try to push it away with reason and rationality, the more it makes me, well, unreasonable and irrational. Which, frankly, sucks.
I have to exercise will. Discipline. Control.
I feel so cold...
- RC
Had an early Thanksgiving dinner on Monday for Owen, who has been stuck in Russia and hasn't had a proper turkey dinner in a couple of years. We are still chewing on the leftovers, too.. good stuff.
I'm starting to feel disconnected from myself, a very odd feeling to be sure.
- RC
I'm starting to feel disconnected from myself, a very odd feeling to be sure.
- RC
Heh. You know what's really funny? A few hours after I posted here, my computer died again. So I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. Ah, well.
- RC
- RC
Gah! Computer crashed Tuesday. Fixed computer today. Pays to be smart, sometimes.
Got Suicide Girls DVD. Funny as hell. Note to self: do not piss off SGs.
Computer still needs work, but my wrists are numb and I have a headache. Tons of spam to wade through in email box. Haven't eaten yet; woke up at 0900, slept 5-6 hours.
Interesting story for the day: Once, in my tae kwon do class, we were doing warm up exercises. One of the exercises was the splits. The master thought I wasn't going far enough, and he swung at my ankles with his bamboo staff. I jumped over his swing, and he spun and whacked me, hard, on the back. It hurt.
Next post will be more coherent, I promise.
- RC
Got Suicide Girls DVD. Funny as hell. Note to self: do not piss off SGs.
Computer still needs work, but my wrists are numb and I have a headache. Tons of spam to wade through in email box. Haven't eaten yet; woke up at 0900, slept 5-6 hours.
Interesting story for the day: Once, in my tae kwon do class, we were doing warm up exercises. One of the exercises was the splits. The master thought I wasn't going far enough, and he swung at my ankles with his bamboo staff. I jumped over his swing, and he spun and whacked me, hard, on the back. It hurt.
Next post will be more coherent, I promise.
- RC
I haven't posted in a month.. I haven't even been here in a month. Since dad left, I've basically been taking care of things around the house.. and wouldn't you know it, but this month everything seems to have decided to break:
1) Electrical fire in kitchen. Called electrician; had hole cut into outside of house to preserve the nicely redone kitchen.
2) Dishwasher leaks (still need to work on this, in the meantime, mum and I take turns)
3) I discovered that the garage-laundry room door doesn't latch. Nobody else noticed this before. Oy. There's a workaround for this; the deadbolt works fine.
4) Branch from city tree fell and maimed my dad's truck. Called city manager, had the branch removed, and am having insurance claim forms mailed here. Discussed with mother; she agrees.
5) Brand-new glasses fell apart, turns out they were malformed, possibly from the very beginning.
not quite broken stuff, but:
6) Had 9 and 12 year old cousins stay with me for a week. 29 year old cousin arrived as backup midway through week.
7) FINALLY kicked evil grandmother out of house; she's lucky we won't bill her for the emotional stress she's put the family through. (My mum has health problems because of that bitch!)
8) Switched medication from Zoloft to Prozac. That's some strong shit, too.
9) Been busy getting some online RPG stuff together at GhostOrb.
So all in all.. it's been a busy month.
- RC
1) Electrical fire in kitchen. Called electrician; had hole cut into outside of house to preserve the nicely redone kitchen.
2) Dishwasher leaks (still need to work on this, in the meantime, mum and I take turns)
3) I discovered that the garage-laundry room door doesn't latch. Nobody else noticed this before. Oy. There's a workaround for this; the deadbolt works fine.
4) Branch from city tree fell and maimed my dad's truck. Called city manager, had the branch removed, and am having insurance claim forms mailed here. Discussed with mother; she agrees.
5) Brand-new glasses fell apart, turns out they were malformed, possibly from the very beginning.
not quite broken stuff, but:
6) Had 9 and 12 year old cousins stay with me for a week. 29 year old cousin arrived as backup midway through week.
7) FINALLY kicked evil grandmother out of house; she's lucky we won't bill her for the emotional stress she's put the family through. (My mum has health problems because of that bitch!)
8) Switched medication from Zoloft to Prozac. That's some strong shit, too.
9) Been busy getting some online RPG stuff together at GhostOrb.
So all in all.. it's been a busy month.
- RC
My dad is heading off to war in an hour-twenty. I dunno what to think about it. He's not a front-line guy, for that I give thanks. Still, he's going to be away, and that makes my mum worry.
While he's gone we'll have our service star in the front window, though. It'll be his fifth tour over in the Gulf, too.
Anyway, that's all for now.
- RC
P.S: Great, bastards are blowing shit up in London now. I guess we'll have to wait and see if it was either Catholic or Muslim terrorists. If it's not one of those, I'll be quite surprised. The anti-G8 anarchists are usually not so coordinated.
While he's gone we'll have our service star in the front window, though. It'll be his fifth tour over in the Gulf, too.
Anyway, that's all for now.
- RC
P.S: Great, bastards are blowing shit up in London now. I guess we'll have to wait and see if it was either Catholic or Muslim terrorists. If it's not one of those, I'll be quite surprised. The anti-G8 anarchists are usually not so coordinated.
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