Hrm, so the groups and messaging are a lot more dead then I remember a while ago. Oh well, such is the way of the world, all things must change. I just can't get behind facebook 100%, I don't think my kink level is there enough for fet-life, I shall be as the Ronin of the internet... Roaming masterless and for whatever cause or movement piques my curiousity.

On another note, the semester is wrapping up nicely, if not stressful as usual. All projects are coming to clean conclusions, and products. 3 more weeks... In the meantime me and my baby get to enjoy penn and teller in biloxi coming up pretty soon, along with summer that will bring a whole mess of new projects to my feet, and so so much funding.

I'm back! Hooray for breaks from school... that are ending in about a week lol. Reactivated because I miss the community, and me and my wonderful lady wanted some wonderful people to talk to... as well as wonderful boobies to look at on occasion. One year of inactivity, though it has been a damned good year. So who am I friends with on here that's still active? I seem to remember that way back when, accounts going up and down... like me lol

yay for mardi gras! I hate it, but damn is it helping me rake in some hours lol, it's also giving me some good breaks from school, so I've been making mostly A's there which makes me happier then a zebra hearing about lion extinction. All in all things are going pretty well, I have plenty of time to handle up my homework, go out and play, and even a little pocket change left over when I'm done.Now if only Little Tokyo was cheaper so I could get that flaming pufferfish sake more, that stuff is amazing. I'm no coinneseur of sake, but it tastes good, and damn is the presentation spectacular.

More movie work, I'm having a blast, and I'm addicted to the fallout new vegas soundtrack lol, I keep looking up more and more big band music, sinatra, dean martin, marty robbins, I can't get enough! I have no clue why, but I love it. Does anyone else have this going on, or did I just let a game get into my head too much and this is just a Pavlovian response.

Deano! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huKSm0tAvhs

Alright, I had a good time at work over the weekend, and got to drive a ten ton-truck again plus I earned some cool points around the shop for keeping it together when everyone else was pulling in about 15 different directions. I take my last final today, and I've got work lined up through january, including my first runway gig this saturday, I'm more excited then nervous though, so I think it will be good to go. EEEE!!!! happy times lol

Dreams are so funny, I never understand what they mean, or try, they just amuse me because I haven't had them up until this point in time. The one I had last night was society breaking down. I'm not sure why, I never figured that part out. I was on vacation with this girl, and all of a sudden all of the lights went out on the interstate. we got off and lots of buildings were on fire and people were running through the streets. I kept asking people what was wrong, and they wouldn't say anything. I kept fighting through the crowd and I got to this office with an eagle globe and anchor, they looked like they were panicking inside, so I took an M4 from by the front door. Then the crowds started rushing me and attacking, so I shot and shot and shot and took them down. I ran out of ammo for the rifle and had to start using my pistol, while I was moving serpentine into a tall building. We ran through the front door and out of a loading dock. Then we ran across a highway and started climbing an impossibly steep hill, so I had to use plants to grab onto and climb. The girl I was with told me that the thick plants we were climbing through could be pressed down, and if you pressed them down enough in a circle that you could turn them into a tiny disk, and that's what happened, hundreds of yards of a plant turned into a tiny disk about the size of my arm, then I woke up.

Break-ups are so strange. Each relationship I start out on I look at as a voyage, some mystical quest that I must strive hard to enjoy and make enjoyable. I'm a very simple man, I only expect my mate to be herself, the person I met and was attracted to. People change, I change, the circumstances I find myself in are constantly dynamic. I love my life, and the directions it takes, but I'm always surprised when people try to manipulate me. I am a world class bullshitter, if there was a convince people your point of view is right and not have it bite you in the ass contest I wouldn't show up, because I've already won it so many times. People around me still think they can put me in their little boxes, put tests in front of me and see if I raise the right paw or the left paw. Every time it infuriates me, and they act surprised when I tell them that they are severed from my life. I have too many important things to do for my free time to be gobbled up with things that make me nervous, uncomfortable, and angry. If someone is in my life it is because they offer me more enjoyment then if they were not in my life. I'm very clear on these things at the start of my relationships, not only the sexual ones, all of them. For some reason people still feel the need to test me. Don't they realize who they are fucking with? On a brighter note I had two tests today which I am confident I did fantastic on, and public enemy is a great movie.

I had my birthday back in April, it was pretty fun. I need to redefine certain aspects of my life. I've been losing myself to chemistry far too much. I'm becoming a caricature of a man, I live, eat, breath, and shit chemistry. I was fooling around with a woman the other week and in my mind I was seeing the processes going on in her head, and how those signals would travel down the spinal column and stimulate her vagina to be wet, and the basic components of that wetness and I had to stop. I need to find a new gig, I want to stick with chemistry, but I need to incorporate more elements into myself, and have new experiences and focuses, or I will cease to be myself. I won't be Matthew anymore, I'll be biochemist, and I am not comfortable with that idea. Hmm, maybe I would be happier as a dolphin. They're far more intelligent then us, yet they have no technology. Only small families, little societies with a leader. They only swim, eat, mate, and play. I wish human life was so simple, that I could just lead a tribe and do that. There are so many unneccessary complications however. All intricate workings that I fully understand, but I do not accept. I cannot be status quo, I can't let myself dissapear into a simple cog. I have so many more facets and possibilities that I present and live. I will find an escape, and it will be fun, even if it's something as simple as a girlfriend or something. Perhaps simplicity is my only escape.

Thank goodness, finals are over. it would appear I failed my english proficiency exam, but my teacher wants to appeal it with work I've done earlier in the semester, he called me up to tell me that, so that's a good sign I suppose. I had a job interview to teach for the princeton review. I was going to teach chemistry to people taking the MCAT. Unfortunately they did not think I looked professional, even though my presentation went well, I mean, fuck, I brought a model with me to teach a ten minute class on talking to women for fuck's sake. I also won't be going to Ohio, once again, I haven't completed enough coursework, and don't have a high enough GPA, even though I do research in a pertinent field, fuck it. I have a job in the chem office, if not, I'll make something work, I need to do my courses and make some cash over the summer. I'm tired of being broke, I know I'll be well to do when I get out of school, but I want it now, again. I did so well before, I just need to find my pace, and a little more balance. hmm, I need to figure out events for the chemistry club as well. I'm open to any suggestions on that one.