So a lack of discipline has got me down. Now I'm just doing a push-up program, so I'll have something to keep me busy. Hope all is well, whoever the hell is reading this.
I'm gone tomorrow, take care everybody. See you in a few months, once I get things settled, but right now, SG is a luxury I can't afford.
Later!
Later!
Broke. Procrastinating. Making mistakes left and right. Acting in an incredibly selfish manner. Unemployed. Sat in the shower and cried for my mother for about five minutes. It would appear that nothing is going right, these days. The self-sabotage has to end, though, because a gun would be quicker at this point.
Well, I've cancelled my account, again... Don't worry about it, I only cancelled it because I'm broke right now -as soon as I get a job, I'll renew my subscription.
But as it stands, I have no money, and I'm in debt. I'm trying to scare up cash to pay off the last month of rent... I'm also looking for work -a dehumanizing quest I'd rather not have to endure. I'm tired, frightened, and alone. Perfect time for this shit, yeah?
I don't know why I'm 25 and still act like a child. I mean, hell, I don't have any sort of spectrum-disorder. It's not like I'm wired wrong... I'm just immature. I hate it and I hate myself. Oh, well. Back to work.
But as it stands, I have no money, and I'm in debt. I'm trying to scare up cash to pay off the last month of rent... I'm also looking for work -a dehumanizing quest I'd rather not have to endure. I'm tired, frightened, and alone. Perfect time for this shit, yeah?
I don't know why I'm 25 and still act like a child. I mean, hell, I don't have any sort of spectrum-disorder. It's not like I'm wired wrong... I'm just immature. I hate it and I hate myself. Oh, well. Back to work.
I am broke, and unmotivated. I don't want to do a single thing. I don't want to move. I'm too scared, too bored, and too resigned. I'm about as low as a person can be, without engaging in extremely self-destructive behaviours. Don't worry, I won't start doing Heroin to compound my troubles.
The worst of it is I know I can do better, and what's worse yet is that I'm actually a member of the richest 1/6 of the planet -so I'm blowing my problems out of proportion, yet. So now I'm miserable, broke, unmotivated, and feel guilty on top of that. I have Failed.
My world is unravelling. The larger world is becoming an even bigger mess.
The worst of it is I know I can do better, and what's worse yet is that I'm actually a member of the richest 1/6 of the planet -so I'm blowing my problems out of proportion, yet. So now I'm miserable, broke, unmotivated, and feel guilty on top of that. I have Failed.
My world is unravelling. The larger world is becoming an even bigger mess.
