I never remember to update.

Well, I live in Winston-Salem NC, now for starters. My rent is CHEAP. I live with 2 of my homies who happen to be married (I introduced them no less). We live in a house with a grand total of four dogs. Luckily three of them are small. I still have no job, but then again, I haven't really looked yet. I'm thinking of working for the Post Office, they have had adds up on craigslist here for weeks.

I miss you kids, especially you Mr. SupremePizzaMan. Sorry I left too much shit behind, it was unintentional, but seriously that couch is awesome. Are you mad, or can I call you? All my other friends, know that I am well, and as soon as I get my own place you can all come visit the great state of North Carolina.

I live in a hotel in Chattanooga now. I am so fuckin' classy! I've got a line on a few jobs, and a few places to stay as well. Friends are so helpful when moving. Oh, and the weather here is awesome. I'm sure I will change my mind in the summer, but for now...

I met Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson at my work today. Fuckin' weird. I tried to get Ryan to take a picture with us but he told me "I don't usually do that sort of thing". He then asked me my name and told me his name was Ryan while shaking my hand, I simply responded with "I know". Minor small talk ensued and then Scarlett told me my tattoos were "beautiful". Interesting.

Yesterday at work some crazy giant (well, only seven feet tall. But hey, that's big...), and I mean crazy as a descriptive term for someone who has arguments with themselves and can't seem to sit down to save their life, wanted to kick my ass. I told him to leave the Cafe because he was just being weird, you know with the self arguing and meandering around endlessly, this pissed him off. He informed me that he wasn't leaving until he drank the Coke that he had ordered, so I had to take it away from him. I yanked it right out of his hand, I totally thought he was gonna hit me, but he didn't. He did however tell me that he wanted to fight me, but only for money, and called me a "punk ass bitch" at least four times in a row. It was fun. God I love working on Aurora!

I saw a Metro bus in flames on I-5 today. Fuckin' awesome! I'm gonna go fold laundry and sip whiskey now. Thanks.

I unveiled my new alcohol concoction at the No Slut in 08 party. It is "The Whisquila". It was born from the idea that whiskey usually makes people fight and tequila usually gets people naked. However with a shot of each in every drink you need to make sure that people don't pass out, so I added Rock Star brand energy drink. I apologize to anyone who may have had one. I personally had four and it was fucking AWESOME! I am a party machine. I do believe I was the last man standing at the party. Thank you to all the fine folks from SGSeattle who attended. Rice loves yous guys.

P.S.- No one got into a fight or got naked, apparently "whisquila" needs some work.

Quote of the week:
"you can milk anything with nipples"
Thank you and good night

How sad does life have to be for a man to take almost a week to blog about breaking up lesbian sex in progress in the walkway outside his work? Man, I gotta get out more often. (and yes, it happened.)

Why is it snowing on March 28th?! I mean it's almost fucking April, God needs to get his shit together.

I'll begin my story with a preface: for those who don't know Highway 99 is called Aurora Ave. inside Seattle, it is known for both drugs and prostitution. There. Now that is out of the way, on to my story...
Last night I was walking home drunk after I left a party at my friends house. He lives right off of Aurora and I live a few blocks off of Aurora as well about 20 or so blocks north. On my way up Aurora towards my house I ran into a hooker. I was drunk and feeling chatty, so I started talking to her. Since we were both headed in the same direction we walked togethor. After walking about five blocks a cop pulls up in front of us and hits his lights. Me:"Oh crap! I'm going to be arrested because I'm walking with a hooker!". Hooker:"No, they do this shit all the time to scare people away.". She was right. Before we even got to where the cop had stopped he turned off the lights and sped away up Aurora. When we got to 97th (the block I live right off of) it was time to part company. I bid the hooker a fond adieu and made her give me a hug, it was fucking funny. I hugged a hooker last night, what did you do? And this comes from the guy who loves "dead hooker" jokes.