I met this guys named Luke at the plasma donation center where I live. He's not super model hot but I seem to have this huge crush on him. I noticed him when he started working there in December and he would always make a point to process me. He would always chat with me and he would always say bye when I left. I just happen to be friends with Luke's best friend who also works at the plasma center, so I did some facebook stalking and found Luke's page. I added him and we instantly started talking. He took me out to the bar and bought me a few drinks and I started to feel really sick. I felt so bad for leaving the date early and I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested. We texted back and forth and he invited me to go to a rave with him and his friends. I agreed and I had a wonderful time! Me and Luke hit it off really well, may have been the drugs but whatever lol
The only problem is, I'm still with my boyfriend. Luke asked me about him while we were at the rave and I had no idea what to do. We kissed and he said, "you're trouble," I told him that he was trouble then he said, "you're the one with the boyfriend." I just kinda froze then looked away. I was embarrassed and kinda sad at the same time. He let it go for the rest of the night and I ended up going back to his place. We laid in bed and he told me we couldnt do anything because he wanted to be a good boy and I respected that.
Here's the hard part. What the hell do I do?!?! I've been having thought of being single for a couple months now but I love my boyfriend to death. He's my best friend and I dont want to be without him but I really like Luke. I feel so torn. I know that it's going to be really hard to not be with my bf, we live together, we have 3 pets together, we take care of each other. But sometimes I wish I had my own space, my own life, my own decisions. I miss not having to make decisions for more than one person. I miss that feeling I've been getting when Luke texts me or I see him. Those butterflies, the unknown. I feel like everything is the same with my bf. but I know I cant have my cake and eat it too.
This kind of talk really makes me want to cry. I dont know what to do and I hate to just dump on all of you. I dont really have anyone else to confide in that isnt my boyfriends friend or Luke's friend. Fuck My Life.

with mine and my boyfriend's 2 year anniversary coming up, something has come up that is making me really doubt myself. when i was 16, living in a small town, i was involved with a total jerk, let's call him "james". he treated me like dirt and was always fucked up. he added to my self-destruction. there was this guy we all hung out with, we'll call him "gary", and he was a pretty popular, attractive guy. I was a girl with low self esteem and emotional problems beyond belief. gary approached me one day when james broke my heart another time. things got a little hot and heavy with me and gary but we didnt have sex. after that night he would always come to me and tell me how he would treat me like a queen and be so much better than james. he couldnt understand why "a beautiful girl would let a guy treat her like that". i was infatuated with james and couldnt let go. even though a gorgeous, caring guy wanted to be with me.after that summer i moved to dallas and didnt see him again.

after almost 4 years i found him on facebook... i messaged him and asked him how his life was. i found out that he is in the marines and in afganistan right now. he told me about how he was supposed to be having a kid in jan but that he didnt love the girl. he asked me how things were in my life and i told him i was going to school and living with my boyfriend. i told him i had missed him and how i had always regreted my decision back in the day. how i had always thought about what could have been. he told me he thought about that to, and that we could have had a really good time together. he said when he comes back to the us in may that he wants to see me. i told him ok but im worried.

i've always had him in the back of my head but i love my boyfriend sooo much. i've never been happier than when i was with my boyfriend. he's my best friend and my lover. but with gary coming back into the picture things are getting really confusing. idk what to do. my heart is really torn. the thing is idk if gary wants to be with me or if he just wants a casual thing. please help me idk what to do