greetings and salutations

thanks.

2 days to life.

5 days to life. my cats went outside for the first time yesterday, under supervision of course. they seem to take to it nicely. by the time we dragged the orange bastard inside he had worn himself out and moo moo kitty now has a dirty belly from exploring underneath the shed. i scraped my knuckles yesterday while trying to get wax off the floor. the packing business continues. i can't wait until the 17th, that is the day i hand in my keys and officially don't live on base anymore. it's not hard to let go of most of the old life, there are parts i miss but i know they were nothing but bad for me. i should be welcoming the new life at this point, but it feels strange to welcome the new when the old isn't dead yet.

this real life business is going to be starting soon. the closer i get to having a real life the more i feel the fear.

got a haircut. it's short enough to show off the fact that my hair is two different colors (my natural color and the remnants of some dark brown i slapped on it). the natural color is actually more flattering to my skin tone and jet black eyebrows than i remember it being when i first started dying my hair at 12. in recent years people have gotten brief glimpses of my natural hair color such as during my mohawk phase and when i shaved my head completely. it's not so bad. saw my shrink today. the prozac experiment will continue on. i've seen some positive results and no negative ones yet. my shrink has a scale in his office which i asked to use today. i usually don't weigh myself because i find it depressing and i tend to obsess about it. the only time i get an actual number is when i'm being weighed in a medical office, other than that i just go by the way my clothes fit. my pants have been all saggy ever since i got over the plague so i took the opportunity to hop on my shrinks scale. 126.2. this is the least i have weighed in two years. it makes me happy, but i don't expect to stay that low. set up an appointment to get the cats groomed before taking them over to vic's house on friday. moo moo kitty has never been to the groomer and i doubt that alpha has ever had a bath in his entire life so this brand of prissiness i due. it's not like they are getting their nails painted or anything though they will be getting a good deep clean and nail trimming. thank god for the nail trimming, i practically have to sit on them to get it done at home. who knows, they might even like it. i just know the little orange bastard will raise hell which almost makes me feel bad that the groomer lady is so damn nice. thanksgiving approaches and i work tonight and tomorrow afternoon. this means that i will be missing turkey time at vic's but he promised me that there will be a sweet plate of leftovers waiting for me after work. he's such a good guy. i lurves him. craziness will ensue in the next month. i'm trying to brace myself for it.

corn bread for breakfast. killing time until work at 2. the holidays are not the time i want to be checking groceries. cleaned up the mess that my apartment had become. clean enough to start packing again. should be taking the cats over to vic's place later in the week it will be good for them to have people around more. they get lonely. see my shrink on wednesday. got a call from one of my brother's friends from back home. i guess i should stop thinking of missouri as back home.

well...that was not how i wanted to wake up this morning.

i'm not sure that my current healthy life is in actuality any more healthy than then supposedly unhealthy life i am trying to leave behind. curses.



talking heads-once in a lifetime