IPOD
RADIO
DE KEUKEN VAN 1870, part 1
I'd guess that the Dutch sense of understatement leads this incredible eatery to have such a miniscule sign. I walked in and asked where they would like me, and they seated me at a long table next to a young Dutch couple. I already knew pretty much what I wanted, and attempted to order from the Nederlands side of the menu rather than the English. The pronunciation of ertwensoep, though, seemed beyond me. Fortunately, online acquantances had given me the common name.
"Ik wil graag de snert and de stamppot van de dag, alstublieft, and een glas water, still."
"Huh?"
I point, and the cute pregnant waitress says, "Oh, the snert." She grins, and walks away with a toss of her luxuriant hair.
The lovely young woman diagonally across from me is suddenly choking on her wine, and her date has his head bowed and is shaking a little. When the soup comes, I understand why. It tastes fantastic, a rich broth with (I think) veal sausage cut in thin slices. A "Wow" escapes my lips as I finish.
"You liked it?" asks the guy next to me.
"Way more than liked it," I reply, pouring my second glass of water. "I think I want to marry it."
Just then my entree comes, and I note that they haven't gotten theirs yet. We exchange puzzled looks. The young lady can't resist asking me about the soup, and I explain that I figured it out after she laughed. I ask if they know the name of this stamppot, and the fellow informs me that it's boerenkohl.
"Sweet! That's exactly the one I wanted to try first."
"It's more of a winter dish, really."
"Well, I'm from Texas, and a boerenjongen at that." This seems to explain a lot to him. They live in de buurt.
They get their entrees, and we all dig in. I want to find out what brand of spek the kitchen uses and buy a crate of it. I could happily drown in their gravy. Next time, though, I'll cut the meatball in two and save half. We all finish, and I ask them what they had and if they liked it. I remember that they liked their beef and fish dishes. I tell them that I want to have the complete Dutch dinner and that I'll probably finish with the poffertjes. He seems skeptical, so I ask what he would have.
"Vlaa. The poffertjes are more of an afternoon snack." She agrees, so I order the vlaa and pour my last glass of water.
"I guess you noticed that I put away this entire bottle, too."
"I did notice that," he replies, and I tell them that I just came from Sauna Deco down the street.
When I get my dessert, he points out that the next table over arrived before they did and hasn't gotten any food yet. "Maybe you're a victim of ethnic profiling."
"Huh?"
"Clearly they have given you such quick service in order to get rid of you, because you're from Texas."
I grin, and tuck away the delicious vlaa, topped with the superior slagroom I've come to expect in the Netherlands.
I'd guess that the Dutch sense of understatement leads this incredible eatery to have such a miniscule sign. I walked in and asked where they would like me, and they seated me at a long table next to a young Dutch couple. I already knew pretty much what I wanted, and attempted to order from the Nederlands side of the menu rather than the English. The pronunciation of ertwensoep, though, seemed beyond me. Fortunately, online acquantances had given me the common name.
"Ik wil graag de snert and de stamppot van de dag, alstublieft, and een glas water, still."
"Huh?"
I point, and the cute pregnant waitress says, "Oh, the snert." She grins, and walks away with a toss of her luxuriant hair.
The lovely young woman diagonally across from me is suddenly choking on her wine, and her date has his head bowed and is shaking a little. When the soup comes, I understand why. It tastes fantastic, a rich broth with (I think) veal sausage cut in thin slices. A "Wow" escapes my lips as I finish.
"You liked it?" asks the guy next to me.
"Way more than liked it," I reply, pouring my second glass of water. "I think I want to marry it."
Just then my entree comes, and I note that they haven't gotten theirs yet. We exchange puzzled looks. The young lady can't resist asking me about the soup, and I explain that I figured it out after she laughed. I ask if they know the name of this stamppot, and the fellow informs me that it's boerenkohl.
"Sweet! That's exactly the one I wanted to try first."
"It's more of a winter dish, really."
"Well, I'm from Texas, and a boerenjongen at that." This seems to explain a lot to him. They live in de buurt.
They get their entrees, and we all dig in. I want to find out what brand of spek the kitchen uses and buy a crate of it. I could happily drown in their gravy. Next time, though, I'll cut the meatball in two and save half. We all finish, and I ask them what they had and if they liked it. I remember that they liked their beef and fish dishes. I tell them that I want to have the complete Dutch dinner and that I'll probably finish with the poffertjes. He seems skeptical, so I ask what he would have.
"Vlaa. The poffertjes are more of an afternoon snack." She agrees, so I order the vlaa and pour my last glass of water.
"I guess you noticed that I put away this entire bottle, too."
"I did notice that," he replies, and I tell them that I just came from Sauna Deco down the street.
When I get my dessert, he points out that the next table over arrived before they did and hasn't gotten any food yet. "Maybe you're a victim of ethnic profiling."
"Huh?"
"Clearly they have given you such quick service in order to get rid of you, because you're from Texas."
I grin, and tuck away the delicious vlaa, topped with the superior slagroom I've come to expect in the Netherlands.
DE BAKKERSWINKEL
I went in one morning for a hot breakfast, but the uitsmijter wasn't on the menu, so I decided to try the quiche van de dag, bleu cheese. I cringed a little when it came; it was about the size of my fist.
A moment later, I caught the server's attention and and pushed the empty plate away. "I have a complaint about the quiche."
She smiled a little, and asked if I would like another piece.
"Sure."
"Would you like the same kind or the lorraine?"
"The lorraine, please."
She proceeded behind me to the kitchen, from which laughter erupted, and returned with a piece at least twice as large. By that time I had devoured the delicious salad. The bleu cheese tasted spectacular, but this one sent me to gastronomic nirvana. I cleaned that plate as well, and when another server took it, I said, "Even worse than the first one."
More laughter from the kitchen, and the manager came out to check on me. I kept a straight face for a few seconds, but couldn't hold it anymore when she asked, "You're joking, right?" I was laughing quietly, but so hard a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
"It tasted incredible; that's just how we roll in Texas."
I eventually got myself under control, and bought a piece of chocolate cake for later which gave me an out of body experience.
I went in one morning for a hot breakfast, but the uitsmijter wasn't on the menu, so I decided to try the quiche van de dag, bleu cheese. I cringed a little when it came; it was about the size of my fist.
A moment later, I caught the server's attention and and pushed the empty plate away. "I have a complaint about the quiche."
She smiled a little, and asked if I would like another piece.
"Sure."
"Would you like the same kind or the lorraine?"
"The lorraine, please."
She proceeded behind me to the kitchen, from which laughter erupted, and returned with a piece at least twice as large. By that time I had devoured the delicious salad. The bleu cheese tasted spectacular, but this one sent me to gastronomic nirvana. I cleaned that plate as well, and when another server took it, I said, "Even worse than the first one."
More laughter from the kitchen, and the manager came out to check on me. I kept a straight face for a few seconds, but couldn't hold it anymore when she asked, "You're joking, right?" I was laughing quietly, but so hard a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
"It tasted incredible; that's just how we roll in Texas."
I eventually got myself under control, and bought a piece of chocolate cake for later which gave me an out of body experience.
THE GERMAN TOURIST STORY
I roll out of bed just a bit dazed, throw on my orange jacket and foam clogs (black plaid flannel pants, most likely), and stumble down to the restaurant for some coffee (no room service in Pff Echmond). I grab the biggest cup of the strongest stuff and head back to my room when I get accosted by the Bull German Tourist. He's sitting there at the waterhole with his cow and two daughters when he sees the young male approach. They chuckle at my attire, and I return a friendly smile and a good morning.
Perhaps unhappy with my sanguine attitude, the Bull decides to put the upstart in his place. He asks me where I got the shoes and I reply, "In Amsterdam."
"Well," he replies loudly, "it's all the same in the Netherlands, even here. You can do anything you want; you can have sex with girls right here on the table."
"How much?" I reply, giving my most charming smile.
One of the daughters gets it immediately, and begins choking softly on her laughter. The Bull doesn't, and asks, "How much, what?"
Acting puzzled, I clarify it for him, "To have sex with the girls right here on the table."
Later that afternoon, I was back in Amsterdam.
I roll out of bed just a bit dazed, throw on my orange jacket and foam clogs (black plaid flannel pants, most likely), and stumble down to the restaurant for some coffee (no room service in Pff Echmond). I grab the biggest cup of the strongest stuff and head back to my room when I get accosted by the Bull German Tourist. He's sitting there at the waterhole with his cow and two daughters when he sees the young male approach. They chuckle at my attire, and I return a friendly smile and a good morning.
Perhaps unhappy with my sanguine attitude, the Bull decides to put the upstart in his place. He asks me where I got the shoes and I reply, "In Amsterdam."
"Well," he replies loudly, "it's all the same in the Netherlands, even here. You can do anything you want; you can have sex with girls right here on the table."
"How much?" I reply, giving my most charming smile.
One of the daughters gets it immediately, and begins choking softly on her laughter. The Bull doesn't, and asks, "How much, what?"
Acting puzzled, I clarify it for him, "To have sex with the girls right here on the table."
Later that afternoon, I was back in Amsterdam.
I assert here and now that before this holida˙ I had never in all my born days been asked to so much as step away from a hot dog cart.
A PREVIEW OF THINGS TO COME
Things went sideways.
Last night, the bartender at the Kras asked how things had been for me, nine days into Amsterdam, and I replied that they had been a bit rough.
"She heard you liked it a bit rough."
Sage wisdom indeed. You can ask for John Jones at the desk and leave a message if I'm not available at any time except Sunday night.
TIMELINE
10:30 am April 18, check in at Greenhouse EFFECT Hotel with nothing;
2 am or zo April 22, check in at NH Barbizon Palace with 5g assorted hash and 1.5g Lemon Haze from GA;
3:30 pm April 23, check in at Hotel Zuiderdiun in pfff Echmond with 5g Popeye's Chocolate, 5g Hunter's Special, Extra Special 5g hasje mix from Greenhouse on Haarlemerstraat, .5g or so of the Lemon Haze, best espresso machine ever from Expert, .25K coffee, and no beer;
4 pm April 24, check in at NH Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky with most of the above and a 4-pack of UNPASTEURIZED Grolsch.
A PREVIEW OF THINGS TO COME
Things went sideways.
Last night, the bartender at the Kras asked how things had been for me, nine days into Amsterdam, and I replied that they had been a bit rough.
"She heard you liked it a bit rough."
Sage wisdom indeed. You can ask for John Jones at the desk and leave a message if I'm not available at any time except Sunday night.
TIMELINE
10:30 am April 18, check in at Greenhouse EFFECT Hotel with nothing;
2 am or zo April 22, check in at NH Barbizon Palace with 5g assorted hash and 1.5g Lemon Haze from GA;
3:30 pm April 23, check in at Hotel Zuiderdiun in pfff Echmond with 5g Popeye's Chocolate, 5g Hunter's Special, Extra Special 5g hasje mix from Greenhouse on Haarlemerstraat, .5g or so of the Lemon Haze, best espresso machine ever from Expert, .25K coffee, and no beer;
4 pm April 24, check in at NH Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky with most of the above and a 4-pack of UNPASTEURIZED Grolsch.
The trip went smoothly, even my checked bag. Schiphol had a pile of passport checking backing up the works, so I didn't wait long at the carousel.
Speaking of carousels, I may ride the ferris wheel, today.
My initial waking day went well. I appreciate my foresight in packing the mini-speakers and buying a power strip for the hotel room. I asked if I could buy one to use in my room, and the Desk diva offered to reimburse me if I would kindly walk over to Blokker and pick one up. I just handed her the recipt and she gave me paper and the valuable clinky $.
I did go to Nes yesterday afternoon and then at about 8:30 pm yesterday.
I met "the Legendary" Dave and tried the Verdamper on my first venture forth into the city, midday. I liked the feel of the bar at that time, but when I went back later into Bedlam I felt differently.
So I got my freak on.
You may have heard of me already, and I'm not all even here yet.
Speaking of carousels, I may ride the ferris wheel, today.
My initial waking day went well. I appreciate my foresight in packing the mini-speakers and buying a power strip for the hotel room. I asked if I could buy one to use in my room, and the Desk diva offered to reimburse me if I would kindly walk over to Blokker and pick one up. I just handed her the recipt and she gave me paper and the valuable clinky $.
I did go to Nes yesterday afternoon and then at about 8:30 pm yesterday.
I met "the Legendary" Dave and tried the Verdamper on my first venture forth into the city, midday. I liked the feel of the bar at that time, but when I went back later into Bedlam I felt differently.
So I got my freak on.
You may have heard of me already, and I'm not all even here yet.
1 week to Amsterdam!! Woo-hoo!
UPDATE 4/12:
I leave Wednesday for Houston, spending the night there due to the limited flights out of my tiny local airport. Therefore, I have only two days left to work before I leave. I have all my stuff in two bags and hope to carry it all on.
Yesterday, my Dad had a heart attack and had three stents installed. They say he'll get out tomorrow and have more energy than before. We'll all welcome that, as his low energy had bothered us all. I actually feel pleased that the problem revealed itself and the doctors resolved it. If anyone wonders, he totally wants me to go on this trip.
UPDATE 4/12:
I leave Wednesday for Houston, spending the night there due to the limited flights out of my tiny local airport. Therefore, I have only two days left to work before I leave. I have all my stuff in two bags and hope to carry it all on.
Yesterday, my Dad had a heart attack and had three stents installed. They say he'll get out tomorrow and have more energy than before. We'll all welcome that, as his low energy had bothered us all. I actually feel pleased that the problem revealed itself and the doctors resolved it. If anyone wonders, he totally wants me to go on this trip.
Compaq died, and it took a while for my Dell to arrive, but here I am again.
The old computer had only three or four years on it, and they wouldn't service it. I figured I'd have to pay, but they absolutely wouldn't service it for any price. They would give me a discount on a new one, though... HA!
I don't think so!
The old computer had only three or four years on it, and they wouldn't service it. I figured I'd have to pay, but they absolutely wouldn't service it for any price. They would give me a discount on a new one, though... HA!
I don't think so!
Mood: pissed
I have rarely witnessed a cluster-fuck to equal last night's Texas caucuses, and I've seen some doozies. In the town where I work, a judge ordered the caucusers to disband or face arrest. Wow, I sure love the fact that our judges have such a thorough understanding of the law. At my local, four people showed up and the other three supported Clinton. They elected me chair, as I probably seemed like the only one with any chance of understanding the process, but then voted to disband halfway through. I went along with it, since my guy wasn't getting either of the two delegates. Hell, I would have even agreed to go to the next convention just to get it for him, despite the fact that I'm not even a real Democrat!
So I go to bed mildly ticked off, and when I wake up I hit the "alarm off" button instead of snooze and sleep an extra hour. When I turn on the news, I see that the people of my dear state have fallen for the flimsy bullshit of Hillary's negative turn. I love you guys, but seriously, some of you seem to have no sense. You're probaly no worse than the GenPop (and I use that bit of prison lingo deliberately, BTW), but I had dared to hope otherwise.
Get ready for a bloodbath, and when I checked in on Rush, today, he was indeed gloating.
I wonder how much beer it will take to wash this away.
I have rarely witnessed a cluster-fuck to equal last night's Texas caucuses, and I've seen some doozies. In the town where I work, a judge ordered the caucusers to disband or face arrest. Wow, I sure love the fact that our judges have such a thorough understanding of the law. At my local, four people showed up and the other three supported Clinton. They elected me chair, as I probably seemed like the only one with any chance of understanding the process, but then voted to disband halfway through. I went along with it, since my guy wasn't getting either of the two delegates. Hell, I would have even agreed to go to the next convention just to get it for him, despite the fact that I'm not even a real Democrat!
So I go to bed mildly ticked off, and when I wake up I hit the "alarm off" button instead of snooze and sleep an extra hour. When I turn on the news, I see that the people of my dear state have fallen for the flimsy bullshit of Hillary's negative turn. I love you guys, but seriously, some of you seem to have no sense. You're probaly no worse than the GenPop (and I use that bit of prison lingo deliberately, BTW), but I had dared to hope otherwise.
Get ready for a bloodbath, and when I checked in on Rush, today, he was indeed gloating.
I wonder how much beer it will take to wash this away.
JUNE 2008
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