Wow, I just realized it's been a year since I posted a blog here! That's just negligent beyond all reckoning, and must be corrected.

So, 39. This is the last birthday I'll ever have that will still be in my 30's. This day next year, I'll be 40. I'm having a very, very difficult time accepting this, it just doesn't seem like I can possibly be that old. I mean, I still look like I'm in my 20's, I still feel like I'm in my 20's . . . the whole "almost 40" thing just doesn't sit right with me. Someone has to have made a mistake. I demand an accounting . . .

And now, for the obligatory "past year in reflection." Since this day last year, I've moved to a new apartment, made a major career change, made some new friends, had a couple of relationships start and end, had my heart broken . . . yeah, those are pretty much the highlights. Big year for change, this one, apparently. At least nothing majorly disastrous occurred, and I'm ending the year in a relatively good place, all things considered.

Not too sure right now how this next year will play out. Lots of opportunities, lots of challenges, lots of different directions that things can go from here. I guess it's just time to hold on and enjoy the ride.

Cheers!

Hi All,

It's that time of year again, and this year I want to get out and get together with my friends (especially the one's I haven't seen in a while)!

The Spot
4437 N Broadway
Friday, June 27th, 8pm
Just say you're a guest of
"Roger Range"
for waived cover and express entry!
$3 beers, $4 call cocktails & $5 specialty drinks all night long

The Spot has valet !

Please RSVP if you think you can make it, so I can give them an idea of how many to expect. Hope to see you there!

Okay, it's been a while since I've posted here, so here's a big update:

Things are going okay, overall.

Business at the salon started picking up last month (hope it continues this month). I've started getting some regular clients who've been back a couple of times, and there are more who say they will be when they can. Tips are good (better than the other therapist is getting, from what I understand), and I made a tidy chunk of change despite March being a relatively slow month. I make enough at my salary job to live, so everything I get from massage is just icing. Now I just have to reign in the splurging-just-because-I-can and start paying some things off and tucking away a bit for savings. God, it's been YEARS since I actually had a "savings" stash! This makes me happy. I'm finally doing what I've been wanting to do for the past couple of years.

Work at the "real" job has been hectic and stressful, on the other hand. I still like it for the most part (especially the regular salary and the health insurance), but I can also feel myself getting closer to the breaking point. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. I keep telling myself, "this is my LAST quarter." But I'm just not quite ready to leave the nest. And then, other days, I don't fee like I can take even one more day. But we just had another graduation last week, and those always make it all seem worth it. It truly is amazing seeing all the students grow and develop over the course of the year into professional massage therapists to the point where they're ready to step out into the real world. And it also makes me feel like I'd be abandoning the current students if I left.

Relationship-wise . . . well, nothing to talk about there, so we won't even make the attempt. Ah well . . .

And it looks like Glorious Summer is trying to wrestle its way out of the death-grip of Wicked Winter, but it's having a tough go of it. The temperature is at least into tolerable levels again, at long last, but it's stubbornly refusing to actually get warm. I can't wait for Summer. It makes me wonder how much longer I'll be able to put up with life this far North. As much as I love Chicago itself, you can't separate it from the Hell That Is Winter.

And I've been healthy this year! No debilitating illnesses, no hospitals, heck not even a freaking cold (knock on wood!).

All in all, 2008 is shaping up to be a better year so far.

Most things in life just aren't cut and dried. There's much more grey than black and white. Most decisions aren't really forever, because most people change and grow. Wounds that don't kill you will heal with time, and if they're given enough attention, the scars might not even be as bad as you expected. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance, but after that, extra chances have to be earned. Trust that has been lost can be regained, but that also has to be earned. I've said this before, but it bears repeating: the most important part of any good relationship is open, honest communication.

And to quote the Bard,
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

Thank god 2007 is over. Yeah, some good things happened this year, but overall, it was a pisser of a year. And right at the end, just when I thought the last couple of months were going to be great because of a new relationship, it turned out to be a huge roller coaster deal that ended with me getting my heart broken on New Years Day.

Onward and upward, 2008 is going to be a better year, damn it! I've passed my National Certification Exam for massage therapy, and I've applied for my state license, and I have an interview for a massage job next week at a salon 8 blocks from my apartment. This could be awesome. Just have to wait for my license to come in the mail so I can start working.

Happy 2008 everyone!

Well, it's been a hell of a year, and I'm glad it's almost over! Health problems, money problems, etc., but things are gradually getting better. At least work has been good (if stressful) all year. The most recent good news is that I finally sent off my application to take the National Certification Exam for massage therapy - the first major step towards my license (okay, second major step if you count school...). Once I get licensed and start working as a therapist, I'll be much happier.

Well, Christmas is over, New Years is over; a bit more winding down and the season'll be past, and I have to say, I'm looking forward to getting back to "normal" (if there ever is such a thing). This was an extremely stressful, overly dramatic holiday season, and I was soooo not in the mood, it's not even funny. It ended up being a rougher year than I thought it would be, but with a lot of good too. I finished school (huge step towards a wonderful career), got a great job right off, and I'm self sufficient again (which feels TONS better than relying on friends and family!), so things could be much worse! But I can do without the stress and drama, and there are a couple of things looming on the horizon that I"m not happy about, but at least I know they're coming. Hopefuly 2007 will lead to more success, more hapiness, and less crap. Not just for me, but for all of us! Have a great year!

Well, after two and a half months, I still love my job, but tis' the end of the quarter and there's all kinds of things going on, and way more that has to be done than I can possibly accomplish, so i'm a weeee bit stressed, but it's worth it. The students wil be going on break for almost a month, so I should be able to catch up . . . I hope . . . <crosses fingers>

Aside from that, the holidays are being just as stressful and busy as they always are, but lots of fun too, what with parties and get-togethers, ect. I can't believe how close Christmas is already, and I've done almost NO shopping/preparing . . . <whimper>

I hope everyone's having a good holiday so far!

What the hell?? Some people boggle the mind . . .

So, one of my good friends was dating a girl a few months ago who turned out to be too much of an emotionally abusive, judgemental Baptist and a raging psycho hosebeast to boot. He still talks to her occasionally, I (gladly) hadn't heard from her in a couple of months, but she apparently saw on my MySpace profile recently that I'd said: "Yes, my profile says 'swinger', but that's not *quite* accurate; I'm more polyamorous, and if you don't know what that means, Google it."

Apparently, she was "forced" to read this (and to google polyamory), and decided to send me this email:

I was absolutely flabergasted by her gall in sending this to me out of the blue, but it gave me license to reply and say some things to her that I'd dearly wanted to for almost a year. This was my response to her:

"Thanks for your concern, if that's what this is, but (with all due respect) where do you get off?

You don't know me, you don't know what I've done or what I've been through in my life. You don't know anything about the things that have happened to me or the people who have hurt me. You don't know what kinds of decisions I've made in my life or what the consequences of those decisions might have been. Don't presume that you do.

Your attitude embodies everything about the Church that made me leave it. Yes, I used to be an Evangelical Christian (born and raised Episcopalian converted to non-denominational Evangelical in High School); I was saved, I was baptized again as a consenting adult. I was even a leader in Campus Life/Youth for Christ for a number of years. Heck, that *was* my life for a number of years in the early nineties. Until I started dating and (horror of horrors) fell in love with a girl who was a non-Christian. Long story short, my church refused to marry us, my Campus life "friends" and mentors advised me against marrying her and, in a few cases, actively tried to break us up. With very few exceptions, they refused to attend or take part in the wedding. I lost almost all of my best friends because they thought they knew what was best for me, and they presumed to tell me who I could love. (Yes, our marriage did not work out in the end, but it had nothing at all to do with religion or beliefs, and I don't know or trust you enough to go into why we did break up).

I've had nothing to do with the Church since then, and I don't want to ever again. I honestly don't know what I believe about God anymore, but I sure as hell don't believe in his people.

Jesus taught us love and acceptance. Jesus taught us to treat others as we wished to be treated. Jesus taught us that we are not supposed to judge others - that's for God alone to do. Do you presume to know the full of God's mind? Do you actually think you know what's best for me? Do you even know what's best for you? I don't think so, but that's not for me to judge.

I honestly don't care what you think about me, I know what I think about myself, and I know what my friends think about me, and that's all that matters to me. I love who I love because they are who they are, not who I want them to be. And I'm open to loving anyone else who might come into my life (well, only women in a physical sense, but you know what I mean). I don't want to close myself to the possibility of love, because I don't know who I might meet next week, or next year. And I also know that how I feel about one person does not change how I feel about another. Do you only love one of your daughters? Is there's room enough in your heart for only one at a time? Jealousy can be the most destructive emotion humans have, so why give in to it? You can learn from jealousy; learn what your own insecurities are, and use that knowledge to become a better, more caring, more loving person. Or you can let your jealousy rule you and consume you and destroy every bit of love that ever lived in your heart.

I could go on with this, but I doubt you'd listen or care. Because, like so many other "Christians" I've known in my life, all that matters to you is being right. All you care about is what's wrong and "sinful" about other people rather than what's good and just about them. Like the street preachers who talk about sin and pass out tracts without so much as getting to know the people they're talking to. Without even caring about who they are as individuals. This type of "Christian" makes me sick, and is certainly not going to share in God's kingdom (if it exists).

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're not like this, but I've seen no evidence of it thus far. Feel free to prove me wrong - or don't. It makes no difference to me.

In any case, I do wish you well in your life, and I hope you're able to find happiness - whatever form that takes for you. Please do not try to deny me the same."

And apparently, cash isn't the only thing the gods are dropping on my head....

I got a call out of the blue today from the school's registrar; she said that they are creating a new position at the school that they would like me to interview for. She was given my resume by the person I sent it in to for the Student Services position, but she said that more than one person had already given her my name for this job, independent of seeing my resume!

For the moment, they're calling the position "Academic Adviser" and duties would include entering student's grades in a database and looking for problems, then working with students to help them fix the problems. So far, sounds pretty cool, and something that I'd enjoy!

So I am going in for an interview on Monday. Woo Hoo! Wish me luck!