Soooo...the band came to a screaching halt the other day. After a year of working on this new project, I am now a solo artist. The label decided the project would prosper better by introducing me to a new band. In a way this is good but I also now feel like a Jessica Simpson or something. I mean don't get me wrong. I write all of my own lyrics and melodies. I just don't write the music. All of the music is written by producers. I have input but it is not like I am strumming anything. Oh well. I lost alot of life-time friends over this. I just wish they could have seen things from a different perspective. What are your thought?

Today is going to be a deciding factor in what I choose to do with the next few years of my life. The rest of my band is coming into town today. LAX @ 2:53pm. Depending on how the next weeks goes, I might be quitting this whole dream to be a rockstar thing. We already have a deal, already 1 album in stores and we are almost finished with the new album. I'm just not all into it anymore. If they treat me the way they've been treating me, I give up. I am tired of doing everything alone. They get to stay at home while I am out writing and yet I still bend to there needs and schedules. I've lost my home, friends, family and most recently my girlfriend broke up with me....all over music. It's not worth it anymore.

Soooo.....anxiety. It's been outrageous this trip. All I can think about is everything, you know? I am worrying myself to death about things I don't even have control over. Like today....my drummer's schedule. I can't do anything about that. So what if he can't come out until next week right? Wrong!!! He has to be here...I'm freaking out...we only have Henson's for a week...then we are off to some other studio. We have to do the drums at Henson....oh yeah and a band name...I'm signed and I have no band name ..sorry. I am rambling....soooo...anxiety.

Today was another boring day....sitting around the hotel writing lyrics. I did accomplish alot tho. Wrote alot about this girl I met last nite at a place called, \"The Scotland Yard\". She was OUT of it...I felt really sorry for this girl.
She kept flying off into these weird tangents about stuff...I bought a drink to calm her down but she ended up getting thrown out anywaay. I wonder what happened to her...if she got home okay or if she even had anywhere to go to. Leah was her name.