So, my boyfriend and I just broke up last night, after a year and 2 months together, and 11 of those months we lived together in my apartment. I'm fucking devastated, miserable, sad, heartbroken, all of the above. Things just were not working out any longer, and I haven't been truly happy in a long time. I ended things with him, but I soooo wish that it didn't have to be this way. I still love him very much, and it kills me to not be with him any longer. Fred is my best friend. I don't know what I'm going to do without him in my life. I'm fucking terrified actually.

I don't know what else to say here. It's been 4 months since I've posted on here. That's really sad too. A lot of you have probably forgotten who I even am. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for abandoning my blog for so long.

Anyways, time to go. It's too painful writing this right now.

Happy 4/20 everyone!! Have a great day. I'm off to get ready for the days festivities, which include about 200 people meeting up at one of the soccer fields here in the city to get high at 4:20 pm, and then a wicked munch-out party at a friends house. And of course, there's a 4/20 show with some awesome local bands playing that I'll be checking out tonight. Whoooo!!

Happy 4/20 to you all

So I've disappeared from SG for a few weeks.. and I'm sorry to anybody who's been missing me or my blogs (you know who you are!!) Just wanted to give you an update that I haven't died and I haven't lost my computer LOL. Anyways, drop me a line if you need to reach me

What the fuck is up with the SG Chat lately? Holy fucking lag. I'm getting so sick and tired of this shit. I love the chat and most of the people in it, but it's almost impossible to carry out a conversation on there when your messages show up like 5 minutes after you type them, and then when you start to type another one the words don't even show up until like 3 minutes later and then even longer before they appear on the chat window.

FUCKING SHIT. I'm so frustrated tonight...

I've discovered that it is CRAZY how many random people will add you to their friends list if you have boobs. Or if you show a hint of boobs on cam in the SG chat room. Holy fucking shit!!! I've accepted some of them, rejected others... kept the ones that I actually found half-decent and interesting to talk to on the chatline and hopefully they won't become invisible on my friends list.

There have been a few guys in particular who are fucking HILARIOUS and I was non-stop smiles and explosive laughter the entire time I chatted with them. Those guys will stay on the list, haha. (You know who you are) And there's a few guys who are just complete and total sweethearts and make me feel really good about myself (you also know who you are) and you too will be staying on my list

The others, who I haven't spoken to at all, or who are just plain creeping me out, will soon be removed. I have to keep on top of my friends list, no point having someone on there if they're invisible to me. Right?

Anyways, I had a fantastic time tonight in chat, lots of fun, made some new friends, and had a good time. I wish my boyfriend had an SG membership. It would be cool to see him online in here every now and then, and so he can see who I'm talking to on here and get to know people instead of being so skeptical!! Oh well

So I've had the best day EVER. I went shopping for some new work clothes, ended up getting THREE beautiful skirts for only 22 bucks (each skirt was regular 50 dollars... you do the math!) and then I bought a gorgeous pair of black leather boots with a nice heel on 'em, only cost me 38 bucks (yet again, sale prices!!) and I decided on a whim to get a completely different hair style, so I got my hair chopped off and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it so much. I just added an album of pics of the new 'do, and I'll post some pics of the new clothes soon too. I also got a gorgeous black velvety blazer on sale for 12 bucks. So I had a great shopping day, needless to say!

And to top it all of, my boyfriend and I went grocery shopping and bought a shitload of food and goodies so now I've got a full fridge, freezer and cupboard. I am a happy lady. Shopping is therapeutic when you've been having a rough few weeks. If you find the right thing you're looking for, it can be a real confidence booster. Such is my case

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. I think I'm gonna blow them out of the water when they see me tomorrow. I look very chic-professional now, and I feel like I'm just oozing confidence... this should be a big change from previous interviews I've done. Bring it on, I say!!

For those that were wondering... I still exist. I've had a rough couple of weeks. Been out of work for almost a month and it's really eating at me... Also, my boyfriend's little sister had a miscarriage at 8 months pregnant... she had to birth a dead baby... the baby's funeral was last week in my boyfriend's home town, and both he and I and are absolutely heartbroken over this tragic loss. His sister is only 19 years old, and to have to go through something as horrible as losing your child before he's even born... it's just so, so sad. Nothing is harder or sadder than seeing a dead infant lying in a casket... NOTHING.

Anyways, I appreciate those of you who have been sending me messages to check in on me and tell me they miss me. It's really sweet of you.

I'll be back to normal soon, I hope. I'm just waiting to hear back from a big interview I had a few weeks ago. They told me they would have their decision by the end of January (so I've got till Friday) and it's killing me having to wait to find out. I really NEED this job. It could change my life... really good pay, great benefits, great company. I hope I get it. Wish me luck? kthx

Sooooo I'm on day 6 of my new tongue piercing, and I gotta say, I love LOVE love it. I can't wait till it's all fully healed and ready to go, haha!!! Most of my tongue is still pretty swollen, and will be for a few more days I suspect, but the front (up to the piercing itself) is all back to normal, so I can stick it out of my mouth now, haha. Wicked!!

In other news, I'm completely and utterly baked right now, and lovin' it My eyes are going to droop down to the keyboard soon, I'm squinty, and I've got the munchies/pasties all combined. I smoked a lot of pot tonight, hooooly shit. I wish some of you could have been there tonight with me to share in the fun

I'm really enjoying this site so far, in particular the SG Chat and the Friend's blogs. I think both are excellent ideas. I'm really digging a few specific SG's, Quinne & Clio being at the top of that list, haha. I'm just really loving my time here on this site, and that's always a good thing. Plus there's hot ladies, *rawr* ALWAYS A GOOD THING!!

Alrighty, long enough blog + not enough concentration = boring blog. Good night / good morning friends all over the world, wherever you may be!

With Love,

Poetic Soul

Sooooo I just got my tongue pierced TODAY, and I love love love it!! It's swollen up quite a bit, and will be for a week or so I suspect, but that's nothing major. I do have a slight lisp and can't pronounce certain words just yet, but I'm working on it. It hurts to talk right now

It hurt quite a bit. It was super super fast though, but when he put the barbell and put the bead on it was awful. But, so far I feel that it was worth it. Pain is only a temporary thing, with most body modifications. I have always been fascinated by tongue piercings and knew I wanted one. Now I have one yay!

I'm having fun eating yogurt and drinking icewater, and I'm gonna attempt french fries soon. Ibuprofen is doing wonders and it's helping the swelling and pain a lot! Anyways, here's a few pics for those who want to see it

Happy New Year to you all. I hope everyone had fun I was supposed to go to a party with my boyfriend but instead there was a huge snow storm, so the two of us just stayed home and drank a lot of booze and I smoked a lot of pot, and we just chilled out in the apartment. I had a wicked fun time though, and at one point, a really sweet love song came on the radio and he ran in and grabbed me and asked me for a dance. It was oh-so-romantic and sweet, and totally made my night and was the best way to end 2007

2008 looks like it's gonna be a good year. I've got my friends and family and my wonderful man to keep me company this year. Now if I could only find a GOOD job, instead of doing these fucking office temp. jobs that I've been doing for oh-so-long. Somebody wish me luck with the job hunting!!!

Anyways, I'm not sure what to say tonight. Not feeling too creative. If anybody wants to read my poetry/lyrics or hear my recordings, message me and I'll share the link

Peace and love,

Susan