Right, only recently did a journal update listing my upset and pain and then got tagged by blackwell Guessing nobody likes hearing me whine!

Here goes:

1. As *nsync would say, "God must have spent a little more time on you." What, exactly, did God spend more time on?

God spent a whole lotta time doing a whole lotta stuff. I'm just perfect! lol! Nah, I would say my eyes. A heck of a lot of colour going on in such a small space.

2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protestors do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?

My war would be on girls wearing mini skirts and boob tubes here in the winter. Especially if they've got legs which are almost blue from the cold. My army of protestors and I would have a stand off wearing thick woolly jumpers, jeans and boots against scantily clad beer belly girls. We'd all bitch slap each other and those against me would call me a sensible shoe wearing dyke whilst I'd chant slags!

3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?

Drew Barrymore would play me and Ian Watkins would play my lover, 'cos he is!

4. What flavor of diet coke do you want next?

Diet Tangerine with a hint of cherry

5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.

www.mullet.com Too many to choose from so go take a look.

6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?

If girls had penises their breasts would still get in the way.

7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?

I farted in HMV one afternoon after a particularly bad curry the night before. Walked down a couple more aisles with the smell still following me and looked around at one timid looking little man and shook my head, tut tutting to the person next to me.

8. Tell one crazy "I can't believe how drunk I was" story.

First night out drinking with 'grown ups' when I was sixteen. Decided I was invincible. Drank four pints of cider, six glasses of red wine and coke, two white wine and lemonade, eight shots of peach schnapps. Passed out whilst laughing and puked everywhere. All over me, my boyfriend, a bed, the patio and most of the guests, flashed my knickers and puked all over the car on the way home. Needless to say I didnt make a good impression and wasn't invited to any more such house parties.

9. Ideal Christmas stocking?

A black one with a seam up the back.

10. Who is Britney Spears' soul mate?

Bungle the bear

11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?

The Bible. If you're not religious it's still good for stories.

12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.

Ten and a half stone.

13. Ever puked and run?

Yep, started in a late night chicken shop, kept going on the way out and ended in the alleyway outside. Apparently a fight almost kicked off as I puked on some blokes shoe. Doh!!

14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story.

I never do such things.

15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.

*I lived in Canada for six months when I was a young 'un.
*I attacked Big Bird when I was three.
*I'm scared of clowns.
*I loathe japanese animation

16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture

www.vision.caltech.edu/feifeili/101_ObjectCategories/panda/image_0005.jpg

17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?

Me! With just a hint of a honey

18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?

Feed me.

19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?

www.ralphsteadman.com Again far too many to choose from

20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?

Erm ,most definately not! I'm not into girls. The only woman on this planet who could possibly turn me on is Angelina Jolie.

21. Whats your favorite animal? Show us.

Panda Bear

22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?

Red

23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.

A fair few things but depends on my mood. Althoug these days it wouldn't take much!

24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal' ?

Fairly stupid, probably about aneight

25. Why are ball gags sexy?

Are they?

26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?

Pointless things as they begin to smell after only a few uses.

27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?

I've made someone bleed through biting but he did ask me to.

28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, you're a fucking whore.

I'm a fucking whore!

29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?

That I'm stupid

30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner?

I'd definately wear the strap on!

I'm now tagging saffa and Complicity

Sorry! But the tag must go on!