SO today maintenance come with a man to change the filters in my air conditioning and "look" at the meteer thats in my apartment. The meter in my apartment talks to the one the company has i guess because no one ever comes in my apartment to read it. ANYWAY, I apologized for the heat in my apt, and i said I was cooking and couldnt run my air conditioner. They asked why and I told them it was because I was being charged an ungodly amount for air and I wasnt going to pay what I would if I lived in a 3 bedroom house! They didnt say anything. So after a bit this is the conversation we had.
ME: so what are you doing to that thing?
HIM: fixing it.
ME: oh so it is broken? *innocently*
HIM: um ya THATS why we are here.

GOTCHA!!! So I call the office and ask them if I am going to get a massive credit when they find that it has been broken for months. She says she will check on it. I call my mom who tells me to go out and get that guys name. So I go into the hallways and ask and BOTH the guys start telling me right off the bat that they didnt tell me it was broken all defensive!! LOL I simply (twice mind you) ask the guys name. HE has this look like he really doesnt want to give it to me and says Chad. So I KNOW that the office called maintenance and told them what I said.
Ya I am not on my way to do some research on the tenant accociation and finding a lawyer. FUCK THIS! I am hot and cranky!!

It seems I am back faster than I thought! That is thanks FIRST to lilli and aldremech, who were wonderful in letting me get out my frustration and giving me the support and love that I needed. Thanks you two!
Second but certainly not any less important to me I got some of the best messages I have ever read!! It was almost like you all were in one room together sending me messages!! They all touched me so very much in different way but I need to tell you all a part of one:

"I don't know any of the details, but I know that this is not like you, dear. You have never struck me as the type to run from something that is bothering you. You seem to have faced quite a bit of adversity over the past several months, but you ALWAYS find a way, through strength and willpower."

and ya know what? The light bulb went off in my head. You see I was so bored in class tonight that I had more time than normal to sit and think. I first thought about the whole situation and how it started and how it ended and I realized that I feel NO guilt. I did the right thing and sometimes that hurts, but pain eases over time. THEN I realized that if someone was gonna treat me in such a way that I was better off NOW! I am in a MUCH better place and MUCH happier!! My life is starting to go in the direction that I have wanted for years. Why the hell would I give a person that kind of power over me? The kind of power that makes me cry and not feel safe IN MY FUCKING SAFE PLACE!!!??
My friend was right, I AM strong. I HAVE faced quite a bit of adversity, and I HAVE found a way!
SO ya know what? Although I AM still gonna be taking some ME time, I am by NO MEANS leaving the site! I am not taking a break and I am not hating people either. I am just gonna BE.
I have a great new job, and I have a fantastic man that I am looking forward to going to see in 32 DAYS! I dont need to be worrying about the bullshit.
So in honor of something I said above I have a youtube video for you all. I havent been able to get the last line of the video out of my head all damn evening. Yes its a cheesy movie but I love it anyway!!!
I mean honestly, I should get MAD kudos for quoting this damn movie!!



ok I dont wanna talk about this anymore. I wanna move on and just BE!