The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
*DANGEROUS:
**SAFER:
***SAFEST:
****ULTRA SAFE:

*What's for dinner?
** Can I help you with dinner?
***Where would you like to go for dinner?
****Here, have some wine.

*Are you wearing that?
**Wow, you sure look good in brown!
***WOW! Look at you!
****Here, have some wine

*What are you so worked up about?
**Could we be overreacting?
***Here's my paycheck.
**** Here, have some wine.

*Should you be eating that?
**You know, there are a lot of apples left.
***Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
****Here, have some wine.

*What did you DO all day?
** I hope you didn't over-do it today.
*** I've always loved you in that robe!
****Here, have somewine .


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pi*sy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!

Don't really know why, I just get clumsy when I'm "raggin" if you will. I get real ditzy like the bleach has gone straight to my brain. We stopped at the Wal-mizzle for some cleaning supplies and for some reason I was more worried about the car shocking my fingers (it fucking hurts, any idea what wrong??) that I locked and shut the door with my shoes and SLAM!

Right as it was slamming I realized I locked in the keys.... while in the ignition.... while the car was still running!

hahah Tracy's face looked JUST like this
He was SOOOOOO pissed off. He was like kicking trees and throwing rocks ... and he's short and irish... so it's so funny to watch his little legs go! Of course I felt AWFUL but I couldn't help from turning so he couldn't see me so I could laugh histerically to myself....

We sat around for HOURS trying to find enough change to call one of our roomies to get the extra. No businesses want to give you change unless you fucking buy something. That is what the world is coming to...
Come to find out no one could find the extra. So we find the security officer. She coudn't understand a word we were saying and obviously thought driving around the parking lot playing with herself was much more sufficient. Tracy was turning a purple color by this time... I thought he was about to someone...

We finally gave in and called a locksmith and they came and fixed the problem in 2 seconds flat then charged us 70 bucks for it! I've never seen Tracy that mad all he could say was "you're paying me back"....

Now it wasn't all fun and games to me I actually felt so bad at one point I started crying...
I think he felt bad for being such an ass at that point and hugged me and told me it was ok. "It happens to a lot of people hunny. Let's go home and get drunk"

So we hopped in the car and needless to say Mary and Jose Cuervo helped us forget it all. hahah

her and her baby boy

Subject:
RE: Serious Talk <3
Body:
hahah For sure we are talking about the same thing babe!
We'll talk about it more in person when the time is right but YES, make sure sammi erases them! Or tell her to get rid of mom on the friends list!

I PROMISE we will talk more in person. I will take you for coffee one weekend and you can let out anything you want! I could never be weirded out by anything you do. I mean, unless you told me you thought puppies were sexy, then we'd have a problem hahah!

You are my family and I'm so very happy to have you in my life I hope I didn't make you feel too uncomfortable by bringing it up. I wanted you to be able to come to me when you were ready, but I had to save you from hell!

LOVE YOU

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ♥Harleigh♥
Date: Sep 25, 2008 4:52 PM


well i gues u saw what i said to sami.... i have wanted to tell you but i never knew how to bring it up. it is not that i am scared (only a little bit) i just never knew when to say it.... i know you wouldnt be all weirded out about it (well i hope not)...

thank you for the warning... i am not ready for mom to even be thinking that it could be possible.... it would just be too weird..... i need to tell sami to delete those comments

i love you tooo... very very very very much
and hopefully we are tlking about what i think we are tlking about... cuz knowing my luck i could be tlking about one thing and you could be tlking about something ttly different...hahahahahah that would be funnie

LOVE YOU ALWAYS,
Harleigh

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Samantha Noelle
Date: Sep 25, 2008 8:04 AM


Let me first start by saying:

You know I love you for you, and I will love everything about you until the day we die! Nothin you are or ever will be could dissapoint me or make me upset or judge you <3 You are my sister and that bond is stronger than ANY relationship in the world!

I know you are going through a lot especially at your age. Like school, and finding out who you are and what you enjoy and what you don't. I know you have some things that you are afraid of speaking with me about and it's quite alright I want you to take you pretty little time baby! When you are ready you know where I am. BUT I did want to warn you that Sammi is on Mom's friends list. Mom is never a snooper, but if you don't want her knowing certain things about you just yet, I'd be careful what you say. It would be awful for her to find out via myspace N'a mean?

I love everything about you, Harleigh! You are a wonderful young woman and I am ALWAYS here to talk to. Don't hold things in if it's hurting you. OK? Aside from this "warning" about sammi's page, we can forget about this message until you are ready. I just want to make SURE you know that I love love love love love love love love you for all that you are and ALWAYS will.


I'm very proud of you so don't ever forget that.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK BRAH!
hahahahahhaha


Love ALWAYS,
Sissy xoxox