Mike and I talked about our future. We are both happy with where we are right now, but we want something different down the road. Who knows when, and who knows if we will be together. I know that I don't want anyone else. He told me that he won't "settle" for anything less than what he really wants, and that he wants to be wtih me. However, we just don't know where we are going....if we are going in the same direction or if we are going to grow apart. I've never been in the situation where I've had to think about my future in the terms of including someone else, and neither has he. Is it normal for us to not know where we are going with our relationship? It kind of scares the hell out of me, but I am so happy with him, I don't care.

When we were talking Mike kept telling me "This shoudln't scare you, but....." "I know this will scare you...." "Don't be scared, but......" We are both so head strong, but at the same time fickle and impulsive. We make life changing decisions in little to no time. Like dropping out of college, in one week I decided and was gone. The last time he moved, he did it in three days. He dropped out of college after one semester. I saw a car on E-Bay, even though mine is still great, I bought it the next day, because I wantted it. We are really immature, and selfish too. We give everything of ourselves, but when we earn money, we think that we need to spend it right away on ourselves.....lol

I don't know. Is it okay that we don't know what is going to happen? We don't know where we are going? Or should we know? We haven't been together all that long, six months, a little over a month we were apart because he thought he might want to be with someone else (yeah, impulsive). I'm scared, but I'm a little relieved that we are at the same place and we are thinking about the future.

I don't know, should we know where we are going at this point, or just keep taking it one day at a time and let the wind blow us where it may? I don't know how it should feel when we need to "take the next step", whatever that is. I guess I'm worried that I should know, and since I'm not sure, that maybe we aren't right for eachother. He feels the same way. I mean, we are really happy together, and we just seem to fit so well together. He gets me better than anyone else, and he makes me more me. I really want to be with him, but should we know where we are going?

Please, any advise, I need it. Someone with some experience, please tell me what you think?

Man, I wish I had a house. I was decorating for Halloween today, and I can only use about a quarter of my stuff because I don't want to take over the living room, since that is where Marry sleeps.

And, I NEED a garden sooooooo bad. Ugh, I feel like crying. I miss gardening and yardwork, and I have no motivation to get my reel mower rust-free, painted, and in working order.....I've had it for two years now. The frame is ready to be painted, but I need to get the wheels, and blades rid of rust and sharpened.

Ugh, where is my life going? I want to do so many things, but I need more time! Right now I am so, so happy with Michale, but I don't think he would wait around for me to go to Africa or Mongolia (and I don't think he would dig joining the Peace Corps with me...hahahaha! I couldn't see him doing that for one second, maybe Habitat for Humanity, but not Peace Corps, working with animals, or even Americorps). god, I don't even think he would stick with me if I went away for college My god, I'm fucking cring......ugh, I need to talk to him about all this. He doesn't even know I want to go away for who knows how long. Four years...at least, for school and Peace Corps. Man, the way things are going I won't be able to get a house or have kids until I'm 27 or 28 It makes me so sad, to think that I have met someone who I truly adore, but doing what will make me happiest might cause me to lose him. Shit, this is hard.

I guess I should take it one step at a time, huh? I'm not even in school yet, and I will go to the local community college to get the rest of my basic requirements taken care of. With any luck, I'll be back in school this time next year, working on Mid-terms. Just thinking about that makes me really happy. I miss books, papers, tests, learning, and being around people who want to talk about science and current events and things like that.

I think I need this......that would make me happy, taking care of it, and having some sweet plants about the shitty apartment I live in right now.

Saturday night I slept on a twin matress on the living room floor at Josh's house between Josh and Mike. LOL. Oh boy. It was warm though. Josh is a fucking bed hog, and he took my pillow.

Before we went to bed I watched Mike lay ontop of some guy and place this guy's hand on his ass. He told him, "Oh, yeah! Get a handful!" This guy then announces he is sleeping next to Mike, and I interject that I am most certainly going to sleep next to my Mike, and he just has to deal with it. lol Trish and Mom agreed, and the fella says, "Mike has two sides, she can have one and I'll take the other!"

I played one round of beer pong against Mikey and Josh, with Mom (Josh's mom, that is). We lost gloriously. I knocked down only two cups and Mom didn't get any. I was drinking Miller High Life, and everyone else was drinking Bud Light. Mike brought all the cups we didn't get over and poured them in with my beer. It wasn't that bad, Miller High Life mixed with Bud Light equals not too shabby.

Everyone freaked right out about the After the Hunt cans, that I happened to swipe from Wade before I left the bar....I don't think he knows it was me, yet. I'm going to tell him Friday or Saturday, whenever I see him. Then buy him a few beers, since I took some of his.

Halloween party this weekend, and my love, Emilee, is coming to hang out. Yeah! I can't wait. We are going to hit up the Haunted House outside of town as well. I'm going in dressed like Jem, because we are going before the party. Should be pretty much awesome.

Ha ha! I have horse lips in the last profile picture! Mikey likes it though, so yeah. I dig it too.

Hey Hey!!!!!

Last night, was pretty much awesomely amazing.



Yeah, I'm wearing a wig, and I'm hot, I know.



And, OH GOD!!!!! Jaeci is so beautiful! Like wow! I love her hair and lips, and other parts too. Damn. She is so super hot. Go look at her.

Mikey was looking at the pictures on my camera, and got a little jealous and protective when he came across a certain one. LOL

That boy.

Um. I'm working midnights for three weeks. Sweet. I love that shift, and I love my crew. I just wish my Wade would come on back to main.

Wade, Nessa, Steve, Marty and Joe have been tring to talk me into transfering to the shop that they work at. I so would, but I love my verifier. We've been together over two years now. Larry announced on Monday that my job is "dieing" in August That makes me so sad. Over three years on my verifier, Stan (the other one is named after me, Penny...hahaha. Wade said he named her that because she doesn't care who is up on her. Male or Female, she takes 'em both. LOL),and they are shipping him to Mexico (and I'm not going with, because Cory, Mike and Paul are going to be training me how to run the replacement job).

Anyway, I'm a happy girl. I get my shift and premium back for three weeks.

OH! I'm on a double write-up! LOL! Rick and Andy saw me chasing Paul (who had just grabbed my tit, on accident, but still) and spraying him with a water bottle, then slipping on the freshly waxed floors. So, that was a writen write-up. Then I got a verbal for attendance! Since when does a doctor's note not keep me out of attendance trouble? Grrrrrr. Bassholes.

As a little aside; I love sex! I mean it, I am so addicted, I want it ALL the time.......ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! Hard sex.....he asked me if it was okay if he said something like "I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk right for a week." I looked at him, completely serious, "Yeah, that's alright...........but only if you do it!" LOL god, I want to get laid...right now, an hour from now, middle of the night, in the morning, on my lunch break......all the fucking time!!!!!!! Uhhh......I'm going to hang out in the Sexaholics group now.

Pictures of the hair, as promised.



The black really shows in this pic.



Blonde comes through real well in that one.



Gosh I'm just so damn cute!!!! LOL

Happy October!!! My favorite time of the year!!!! Because of Halloween, of course.....not a big fan of the cold, at all. But hey, we just got our "company picnic gifts" today. Nice winter coats, that read Cooper, of course. I'll spot mine proudly.

Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm not leaving Cooper in July. Cory showed me the part that will be replacing my job and Mike told me all about the new machines. Oh boy, it will be a challenge!!!! I'm excited!!! I love a challenge, and working with my Paul and Mike.....oh swoon. I love those boys.

Oh yeah, coperate it backing us to get service pricing for the parts we make!!! Holy hell, that would bring so much money into our shop! Service pricing is crazy, we would get over $250 a part for parts that we currently get $50.60 for. That is amazing. The new president came to tour our shop Wednesday, with a ton of other high-ups, and they are very impressed with our shop. They should be, we are only 1% behind the shop making most the most money (in the world, in the fucking universe! ~lol~ for our division) for revinew this year, and this is the worse year we have had since Larry took over. We are 23% up. Woot!

I got my hair done today. I'll post new pictures soon. All I've got to say is I'm back in black......well, a little. LOL You'll see what I mean soon enough.

Got to run (literally, well, I probably won't run, but jump on the eliptical at least). Then I think I might have a little Drunky McDrunkster fest at the campground.

Ta ta!