Today is a mopey day for me. I met a guy and he is pretty fucken awesome. Sad thing he is sooo fucken hard to read. To make things worse I don't even know if I am gonna be around after the summer. I'm still waiting on branch to send me back to Germany. It annoys me that there is so much uncertainty in my life right now. I'm not used to it. There has always been an expiration date to anything that was going on in my life. I always knew how much longer I had in any one place. Now I am back stateside and I have no clue if I will be leaving come August or if I am staying here or if I don't leave to Germany am I gonna have to move again anyways but somewhere in the states instead? Ugh I do not like this
After looking for so long I found a photographer. FEMALE. Sadly I don't know what the hell she thought I wanted with her husband but that has fallen through. I swear if its not one thing its another. I'm not a bombshell or a supermodel but seriously just cause I look a certain way doesn't mean I want your husband. I'm so sick of bitches that think because I am pretty that I must be a home wrecking whore. Get some fucken confidence. I like attractive men. Bad asses with tattoos, just plain bad ass or sexy as fuck pretty boys. I am not interested in some hand me down red headed pudgy bunny. FUCK now I am pissy. Well whatever. Hope everyone has been ok. Kisses

Wow have not written on here in a minute... Well lets see. I lost weight hahaha yay. I am officially the NCOIC of a new clinic and yeah thats the most important stuff. Or rather the positive stuff. Reasons behind not wanting to get on or write are the following: dealing with problems with sailors, friends wedding and lately its been boring around SG land.
Sorry just my opinion. But if anyone has read my past blogs you would know how seriously depressed i was before and things have gotten better. I still feel something for taylor but really its just that i miss the young, sexy hot guy that i liked to bang. His gloomy personality sucked and other than sex our marriage was a waste,
Lets see i recently went to a wedding. I met a guy and took him home. It was a fun time except for the fact that i was so sunburned that every time he touched me i wanted to slap him. Hahaha. Btw this was in texas. I live in va so its not like im falling in love. But day before yesterday i was talking to my girlfriend and the guy, jr was there. He invited me to vegas for his bday in may. Haha guess he liked my personality as much as my booty. Even if i was drunk for the night and hungover in the morning. Lol Guess Im still hot shit. I had tons of fun.
Well have a great week. I will keep you guys updated later.

Casting call in Austin Texas for SGs!! Umm ok I have a wedding to attend to being the maid of honor and shit but ummm.... I def gotta go to that!!! LMAO I guess my friend is just gonna have to say bye bye to me early! SHIZ!

No semi naked pics for me today. Haha Just thinking of some of the people on here. I get the nudity and obivously like it. Some pictures are legit art and are photographed beautifully. I myself find it hard to post anything that i dont love. Im my own worst judge. But seriously sometimes i come on here to see blogs only to find some trashy ass shit. I mean why is it that the bondage pics i see on here are more artistic then the self-proclaimed art? Guys will love to stare at your vagina and say oh youre beautiful. But seriously its not art, or beautiful. It is porn. If you wanted to make porn then by all means go ahead. More power to you. But please lets not fool ourselves with bs titles that simply arent fitting the bill. Youre pictures should not scream oh fuck me now, im a slut. My opinion. Youre entitled to yours. But hey lucky for me i now know who to ignore

My husband is in the states... Of course he wont be seeing me... I think if he had realized it he would have seen that i was his "soul mate". I say that cause our separation feels so different from the usual break up. Today i miss him so much. I miss the good times and his warm body in my bed. I miss the way he protected me from assholes. Haha prolly cause he was an ass. You know i want to convince him to keep our marriage but... I feel like his shitty attitude will just keep his walls up. I feel sad being on my own, i hate that i come home to something that depresses me more. A broken home that we will never share again. And a son who misses "daddy". I resorted to praying last night and begged to have my husband back. I hate doubting my religion but sometimes i feel like he isnt there or isnt real. How could he let this happen to me and my innocent baby? I hate that i have those thoughts... Ive been in a very secret depression when it comes to him and some days it actually shines through. Everyone will tell you, oh you deserve better but really not one word that anyone can say can make anything better.