lets see... i am somewhat anxious about life right now... no real reason... i think simply because i am in limbo... waiting for the next thing is never fun... however, i AM going to vegas this coming sunday which pleases me greatly... i have not been for a little over a year... oh the debauchery that will be taking place... wish you could all be there....

lets see... i feel kinda icky tonight... whats a girl to do? find a pack of batteries... what? ya... i said it... no one gets it do they? its cool...

my cats are here... thats good...

la la la la la la... blah blah blah...

thats enough for now...
kisses

It has been quite a while... things are not looking good my friends... not really sure what to do about it... i suppose what they say about one day at a time is the best advice...

I have never been so scorned... in all my 25 years on the planet...

off to contunie my self medicating of alcohol and cigarettes...

Okay people... the new layout may be a bit confusing at first... but stop bitching... actually, I really like it... it seems more efficient and up to date. I like the modern layout and femanine feel...

I went to the DMV today to get new tags... it took FOREVER... which is what I was expectiong... but I FAILED the DEQ portion... ya... so some background... I had to disconnect my battery for some repairs... and when it was reconnected, all my dashboard lights come on and often stay on... it has been like this for over a year now... of course, one of those lights is the 'check engine' light... now i have been driving the car, for like i said, over a year with that light on... so if it IS something i would have thought it would have let itself be known by now... suffuce it to say, if your 'check engine' light is on it is an AUTOMATIC FAIL....!!!!!!!! so now i have to find a mechanic on THEIR LIST and pay MORE money to have them "FIX" nothing!!! just sign a paper saying I took it in.......

i am in a BAAAAAADDDD mood..........!!!!!!!!

my goodness... it has been so long... I am so busy with school... sometimes i wonder if i am going to have a nervous break down... that would NOT be cool...

I found out my sister is living a secret life... back together with a boyfriend who is abusive and a looser.... I HATE THAT!! i know i can't tell her what to do.. but i REALLY wish i could!!!!!!

off i go... i have to go to campus now to print things... that is really convenient... ya, my printer is broken... and they dont pay YOU to go to school....

OH! funny story... so i dont have health insurance... well, i have what I refer to as 'band-aide & aspirin' insurance through my school... and i need a test on my heart that costs $1650!!! and the woman at the financial assistance office from PROVIDENCE.... that they usually dont give assistance to students because students are CHOOSING to go to school, and NOT work to pay for their insurance... wow... thank you bush administration...

Let me see... Today was an interesting day. My girlfriends from school went out and the conversation went into territory that I am a little weirded out by...body issues. Specifically, thin, fat, big boobs, small boobs stuff. I have realized (again) that all women will never be happy with their bodies ( I will assume this goes for men to).

I, personally, started thinking about myself and the struggles I have been having regarding loosing weight. I suppose, If I am honest with myself about exercise and caloric intake, then I have no right to criticize myself about my body weight. If I am doing my best to loose weight, then that's all I can do.

As far as being 'skinny' I don't really know if that is a reasonable goal for myself. I have never been that girl. I have always been the curvaceous one, really since 9th grade when I woke up with this huge rack...

I guess all in all, doing ones best is all anyone can do. As a woman, this is hard because I get messages all around me telling me I am fat and ugly... I am trying to take this one day at a time...

To all my curvy, goddess friends out there... you are lovely

Perhaps I should have been more clear in my disgust of this latest attempt by the religious right to justify their position of being anti-choice.

This is a depiction of Brittany Spears who has made it clear her position on women's rights. So first, why is a white woman who has everything and can obtain anything, and whose career is based solely on her sexuality and nothing else. Who, when in front of the camera sated that we "should support our president just cause he's the president". This is not a woman who should be idolized by young women. She is a disgrace.

Second, women NEVER give BIRTH on all fours. The position she is in is clearly a "take me now" position. This does not give honor to those women who give birth EVERY day with no medication, and no hospital in remote parts of the world, where their babies are doomed to AIDS, starvation, rape and war.

Thirdly, Ms Spears gained almost 90 pounds during her pregnancy. This statue does not depict this. It depicts a curved ass and small waist with large, round, protruding breasts. A pregnant woman is lovely, but not sexually enticing with a come hither look on her face while pushing new life into the world.

Finally, this statue is what the religious right is offering the world as a depiction of how beautiful life is. Yes, bringing new life into the world is tremendous, when that new life can be cared for properly, and wanted full-heartedly. Too often, young women and old women alike are forced to carry children into this world that they cannot care for, they despise them for taking away their youth, they may not be ready for a family, or may have already had the children they wanted. At any rate, this statue of Ms Spears is disgusting in its attempt to make pregnant women into "male fantasies" of submission and of sexual arousal.