A while ago, I was at a book reading, and right behind the author was this biography of David Bowie. I kept glancing at the cover and thinking it was a picture of me. Apparently we look a lot alike and I never bothered to notice.

So when my department decided to do an 80s wedding as our Halloween theme, I knew what I had to do:

Get a mullet.

Oh yes I did.


The next step was to grow some balls.

So....today at work we had a costume contest.

Did I win? Very yes.

I was told that my win was for having the sheer audacity to wear this to my work. You should know that I normally wear a suit to work. So I caused a bit of a stir, rocking out with my cocking out.

People were staring at my crotch all day. Just for fun, I kept finding excuses to go into my coworker's cubicle while he was on the phone, and standing with my wang aimed at him. I was crying half the day from laughing too hard.

You actually can't tell in this picture how very distracting my junk was. I actually had to give one coworker a good long look at my ass to cleanse his eye palate. Then, by the powers of the 'tocks, he lost all powers of speech.


Some important things I learned today:

- Why men are constantly adjusting. That shit keeps moving around.

- Men get elevator eyed all the time....and the boob dip is far less subtle than the boob dip.

- Some people really look at a penis; others don't notice them at all.

♥


Oh, PS!! I named my penis: The Game Changer.