I just need to be somewhere different. Oregon sounds very peaceful, and it has the ocean. St. Paul was recommended by some of my cousins who lived there.

I saw in on io9

Thanks for those words, glad we still talk.

As for her asking about me, I didn't give her a chance to, kept asking her questions, letting her talk.

I just wanted to hear her voice, see how she was doing.

I asked at the end if she had anything else she wanted to talk about, she was awkard about '... no?"... frankly I just didn't want to re-hash my feelings with her then... I just needed to talk.

She offered to talk to me, to me that shows she still cares.

We both have communication issues, and it'll be a while, if ever, that she's opened up more.

I know I can't be with her right now, and that's the hardest part.

Congrats!

I don't think she's using me at all, I'm not going to just cut her out of my life. I've spent 4 years knowing her, 2 of them dating.

My gut/instinct is telling me to work on myself, still be nice.

I'm not getting any feelings of "run away".

I have my limits, I'm not going to just do whatever she wants.

Just trust me ok?

Oh my! YAYAYAYAY!
Congrats for getting hitched!

Purchased solely for this purpose.

I need to stop letting myself get so worked up about it. It's a city; I've been to cities before, with minimal damage. Hell, I was in Las Vegas last weekend and made my way around just fine. And I'm not too worried about connections; I know enough people who either live there, live near there, and/or are related to me to get a good grounding that way.

I've been small-town all my life. First place I lived had 350 people. I know I need this change; it just scares me. But, that's why I'm visiting first. If, for some reason I simply cannot take it, I'll pick somewhere else.

That sort of thing, I've been doing for years.