Member: OhSoOrdinary

OhSoOrdinary feels like she's been a New Yorker her whole life.

I’m private
 
MAY 18, 2008 @ 02:00 AM

Good day, SG. Go read my SGNews post.
My cat is not dead, neither will she be killed. Full story follows.


If you didn't know, I'm in Iraq. Here, there are rules against keeping pets. They don't want us to get rabies because if we all die of rabies there will be no one to maintain this illegal occupation of a country that hates us fight the War on Terror. Whatever. I found this stupid awesome cat.



Well... she found me. Anyway at first, I didn't like her. But she seduced me with her awesome catness.



I saw on the news that some dude brought a mangy ass dog back from Iraq so I figured if that ugly thing can come back, my super cute cat can.



Unfortunately, the dudes who live next to me found themselves a dog and they tied it up next to their porch and didn't train it or feed it properly or give it fresh water everyday adopted it. Total douchebags. I hated that dog because it kept me up all day long (I work at night) and it was racist (she was found by the Ugandan troops and I think they beat her). So I took care of it when I could even though my lovely Mikiface would be mad at me for smelling like dog. It's really scary because she's a ninja.



So I emailed the SPCA and tried to find out if they would help me save my Kittyhead since they save dogs all the time. They said yes! Unfortunately before we could coordinate to get her out of the 'raq, this Colonel guy saw the dumb dog and said, "Hey! No dogs!" then Operation Shadow Cat commenced. The MP's were coming to take the stupid dog and they would take my awesome cat too! OH NOES!


So I hid her in my trailer during the day and in the mailroom at night and I made her a litter box (that she took to immediately!). Operation Shadow Cat was working but I still hadn't heard from the SPCA so I was starting to get worried about what I should do about Miki. She was an outside cat and being stuck inside really sucked for her.


Thankfully, I got her out about four days after Operation Shadow Cat began. But getting her to the rendezvous point was going to be hard because link up was during the day. I was afraid someone would see her and catnap her! But no one did and now she is saved.

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Comments
Cosi

Cosi

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

MAY 20, 2008 10:35 AM

Wow, snaps to you for going through so much trouble for that cat...that's amazing...I'm glad she is safe!

Thanks for the recipie! Do you think I could substitute goat cheese for feta? I'm allergic to dairy, and I recently found out most "feta" cheese in the US has cow's milk in it mad One more thing I can't eat!

coyotemike

coyotemike

Kearney, NE
May 2006

MAY 20, 2008 12:08 PM

YAY for kitteh!!!!

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 20, 2008 01:04 PM

What up, Miss New Pic?

Well, I do enjoy a good cat story. I've got a few myself. The Ninja pic is a classic.

And just a bit of history for you - cats find people. That's how they became domesticated. We did not look for them, cats discovered that with people came mice and they like to eat mice, so they started hanging around us. To get people to like them and invite them in, they acted all cute and cuddly.

That's the story of cats.

Erica

Erica

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

MAY 20, 2008 01:44 PM

Aww. Cute story.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 20, 2008 03:42 PM

Nice.

Get the hell out of there, already.

Wren

Wren

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

MAY 20, 2008 06:34 PM

What is her status? Do they have to keep her in quarantine when she gets to the US?

IDGAS

IDGAS

Jackson Heights, NY
March 2004

MAY 20, 2008 08:40 PM

Good job on the cat!
Please take care.

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."

Dog Diary

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Cat Diary

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



My two Alaskan Malamutes have insisted that I include: Simplified procedure for bathing your cat.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

xyysupermale

xyysupermale

I'm lost
December 2006

MAY 20, 2008 08:47 PM

CATNESS! I need that ability.

The pic with the bow tied around her neck... she is perfectly pissed looking.

I was seduced by your catness.

Wren

Wren

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

MAY 21, 2008 08:14 AM

Hooray for plague-free kitties! ^___^

Argene

Argene

Columbia, SC
June 2004

MAY 21, 2008 03:30 PM

No problemsmile


That's such a cute kitty!

Cheyenne

Cheyenne

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

MAY 22, 2008 01:47 AM

I'm glad you got to keep your kitty!

Sofia

Sofia

SUICIDEGIRL

Western Sahara

MAY 22, 2008 03:05 PM

this post was brilliant! i love stories, especially ones involving any kind of cuteness and/or beautiful women.
blush

IDGAS

IDGAS

Jackson Heights, NY
March 2004

MAY 22, 2008 07:42 PM

One of the SG Boards - greats!

And NEWS: Sins of the Brother was an outstanding news article!!!! smile

J24U

J24U

Danvers, MA
February 2006

MAY 23, 2008 07:34 AM

I'm so happy you got your cat out smile And I just wanted to say that your "Sins of the Brother" article was excellent, and that the boards in general have greatly benefitted from your presence.

DannyDMc

DannyDMc

Fargo, ND
July 2003

MAY 24, 2008 02:12 PM

What a cute cat; I'm glad to hear that she's safe now. Poor little thing.
I really miss my last cat too, right now; he had to be put down in January frown
Luckily, your story ends better than mine did!

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