Every once in a while -- a couple times a year or so -- rich people, it seems, get a little worried that the rest of us have forgotten about them. This leads them to do things that basically scream, "hey! Remember us? We're still here! And we're still dicks!"
Which leads me to the fact that some huckster has come out with a
$1,000 pizza. It's got fresh lobster, six kinds of caviar, wasabi, creme fraiche, and some other shit that doesn't belong on a pizza. Some of the coverage of this super-important development in gastronomic dickheadedness also mentions that, if you're still hungry after devouring your overpriced vomit-pie, you can head down the street to get a $1,000 ice-cream sundae, which is covered in "23K edible gold leaf."
Nino Selimaj, owner of Nino's Bellissima, claims his pizza is the most expensive in the world, but you know what? He's wrong. Because barely a month ago, some jerk from Scotland made a
similar pizza for some jerk from Italy -- who had purchased it as a Valentine's gift for his lady-love -- for £2,150 ($4,174). (At least this second pizza, which, in addition to gold, lobster, and caviar was also topped with "sunblush tomato sauce, Scottish smoked salmon, and medallions of venison," was part of a charity auction.)
Okay, first off, what's with the edible gold? It apparently has no taste, so as far as I can tell, the only reason to put it on food is so some rich fuck can chow down while thinking, "later tonight, I am literally gonna shit gold!" Which, don't get me wrong, is probably a totally awesome experience, but is it worth $1,000?
But if you're dropping $1,000 on a pizza or an ice-cream sundae, it isn't really about the food, is it? It's about paying a thousand bucks for something that should cost less than twenty so that people will see it and know that you are Captain Bigtime -- and then everyone will want to be your friend and models will want to sleep with you. But, see, it won't work that way, because anyone with any...
Every once in a while -- a couple times a year or so -- rich people, it seems, get a little worried that the rest of us have forgotten about them. This leads them to do things that basically scream, "hey! Remember us? We're still here! And we're still dicks!"
Which leads me to the fact that some huckster has come out with a
$1,000 pizza. It's got fresh lobster, six kinds of caviar, wasabi, creme fraiche, and some other shit that doesn't belong on a pizza. Some of the coverage of this super-important development in gastronomic dickheadedness also mentions that, if you're still hungry after devouring your overpriced vomit-pie, you can head down the street to get a $1,000 ice-cream sundae, which is covered in "23K edible gold leaf."
Nino Selimaj, owner of Nino's Bellissima, claims his pizza is the most expensive in the world, but you know what? He's wrong. Because barely a month ago, some jerk from Scotland made a
similar pizza for some jerk from Italy -- who had purchased it as a Valentine's gift for his lady-love -- for £2,150 ($4,174). (At least this second pizza, which, in addition to gold, lobster, and caviar was also topped with "sunblush tomato sauce, Scottish smoked salmon, and medallions of venison," was part of a charity auction.)
Okay, first off, what's with the edible gold? It apparently has no taste, so as far as I can tell, the only reason to put it on food is so some rich fuck can chow down while thinking, "later tonight, I am literally gonna shit gold!" Which, don't get me wrong, is probably a totally awesome experience, but is it worth $1,000?
But if you're dropping $1,000 on a pizza or an ice-cream sundae, it isn't really about the food, is it? It's about paying a thousand bucks for something that should cost less than twenty so that people will see it and know that you are Captain Bigtime -- and then everyone will want to be your friend and models will want to sleep with you. But, see, it won't work that way, because anyone with any sense at all will think you're a moron and, when it comes to trying to get models to sleep with you, you'd be better off investing your money in cocaine. (If you take a model out for pizza, she's only going to have three bites, no matter how expensive it is -- and then you'll end up giving the leftovers to a homeless guy -- but, damn baby! She will snort the shit out of some cocaine!)
Listen, if I ever have enough money lying around to spend $1,000 on a pizza, I'm not going to eat it. I'm going to fuck it. And then I'll make a t-shirt that says, "I fucked the world's most expensive pizza."
When people see me walking down the street, they will say, "there goes a dude who knows how to throw his money away."
IPOD
RADIO
Which leads me to the fact that some huckster has come out with a $1,000 pizza. It's got fresh lobster, six kinds of caviar, wasabi, creme fraiche, and some other shit that doesn't belong on a pizza. Some of the coverage of this super-important development in gastronomic dickheadedness also mentions that, if you're still hungry after devouring your overpriced vomit-pie, you can head down the street to get a $1,000 ice-cream sundae, which is covered in "23K edible gold leaf."
Nino Selimaj, owner of Nino's Bellissima, claims his pizza is the most expensive in the world, but you know what? He's wrong. Because barely a month ago, some jerk from Scotland made a similar pizza for some jerk from Italy -- who had purchased it as a Valentine's gift for his lady-love -- for £2,150 ($4,174). (At least this second pizza, which, in addition to gold, lobster, and caviar was also topped with "sunblush tomato sauce, Scottish smoked salmon, and medallions of venison," was part of a charity auction.)
Okay, first off, what's with the edible gold? It apparently has no taste, so as far as I can tell, the only reason to put it on food is so some rich fuck can chow down while thinking, "later tonight, I am literally gonna shit gold!" Which, don't get me wrong, is probably a totally awesome experience, but is it worth $1,000?
But if you're dropping $1,000 on a pizza or an ice-cream sundae, it isn't really about the food, is it? It's about paying a thousand bucks for something that should cost less than twenty so that people will see it and know that you are Captain Bigtime -- and then everyone will want to be your friend and models will want to sleep with you. But, see, it won't work that way, because anyone with any...