Holy Hell, I'm back!!

Thanks to my benefactor who was kind enough to give me a couple of months back! You are my Hero or Heroine!

Been a ton of changes in my life since I was last a member, when I have some more time I will have to update everyone!

Again thank you to whoever was kind enough to lend me this helping hand so that I could be back for a little while longer.

Are you lonesome tonight? Needing a helping hand? Someone to be there when you need them? Need a hug? Perhaps a cuddle? Tell me what you need.

"Life ain't what it seems, it ain't no fucking dream, so get a grip upon your shit and make sure your pipe is clean." (Kottonmouth Kings) -sorry need to attribute quotes that I use. Damn me for being a English Major.-

So here is your question of the day dear reader: Do women compare breast size like men compare penis size?

I am feeling a bit off kilter if you haven't noticed by now. I am stuck in the middle of my head trying to figure my shit out. Life is what it is right now and it is neither good nor bad. I do like to think that in a year I should have my first degree. Then I will carry on to get my BA. So that is a good thing. Something to look forward too. I don't know why but I have been focusing on things that I can not control. I am trying to do things that I shouldn't (and no I will not go into details). I am just gonna roll with the punches right now and hope for the best.

Time for me to be off, I need to make dinner, and get a few things done before bed.

Peace,
Odinsward

Listen no BS this time. Shit is not kosher, I am not myself, I am really beginning to doubt my abilities in school and I am about ready to just run.Not sure what the hell is going on. I wake up and feel like I suck. I go to school feeling like I suck. I go to work with the same feeling. I get home and begin raiding with my guild mates in Vanguard: Saga of Heroes still with the same feeling. I hate feeling like this and I want it to stop. School is fucking tough this semester and I am doing my best. I feel like I am in over my head. I just want it to stop and I want to be done. Going on my fourth semester in a row. I haven't had a break longer then 3 weeks since last January. and I won't have one till about June.

I need to get away, I need a break, I need to relax. I need to get laid. Hell I may just have to break my own little rule of one nighters. Sorry folks I don't do them if I can help it. I love sex, just not overly into the casual sex thing. Perhaps I just need to be smart and ask that one chick out. Her name is Britny and she is pretty god damn cool. Not to mention that she is cute. To be honest, she is very attractive to me, some may not find her to be to good looking, but then again those are people that are shallow and have no self worth. Perhaps these asshats would be better suited to a different world. Their own little world where us normal people are not there. Where WE don't have to deal with THEIR shit. You may be asking who is we and who are they? Two very good questions Binky. (no that is in no reference to anyone, it is just a term I use from time to time to refer to the person reading.) We are those that have emotions, intelligence, understanding, compassion, and the common sense to know fucking better. They are those that lack these traits. Also you are a WE if you have at least three of the above things. Any less and your no better than THEM. WTF is this about? I don't know, I just have to say it. This is the shit that drives me crazy.

FUCK! *takes a deep breath* Ok let me try this again. <sarcasm> I am so happy, Life is perfect, I have no wants, needs, or desires. I am nothing more then an empty husk that needs someone to fill me with what they think I need to be. </sarcasm> Gahh! WTF? Does anyone think this about the vast majority of humanity? Or am I alone in this?

Hell I don't know and right now I could care less. I am gonna wrap this up before I write a ream of ramblings that make no sense and would drive you just as insane as I am.

Sleep well mate, take care of yourself and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Wishing you all the best,

Odin

Oh what a day!

I wake up this morning feeling like ass. I didn't sleep a wink, thoughts racing through my head, and pain in my knees. Needless to say this is not very helpful in getting any sleep. I go to brew coffee and try to start my day normally. No, the coffee pot is filthy, the grounds are still in the machine, and it needs to be cleaned... I mean I would not brew coffee in that thing it was nasty. So I go ahead and clean the machine and brew myself some good coffee. So I go hope on my desktop and log into my email to check on the status of my package. I made a purchase on Friday that I need for school. I need to know when it will be here. The status reads that it is still in MSP. Grrr.... I may not get it today. THIS IS NOT COOL! I pack up my shit, throw on clothes and head out for a lovely day at school. :sarcasm:

I get to school and get to class. It is public speaking. It turns out that it was a so so day in class. She lectured us on giving impromptu speeches. Which as luck would have it, we will be giving these types of speeches in class on Wednesday. (Anyone see that one coming? Cause I sure did...)

Class finishes and I go to the library to check on the status of my package. Well wouldn't ya know it. It was down for updates, I have class in 10 minutes. FUCK! Still no fucking clue. I run to my next class and sit through a boring lecture about....Shit I don't know and I don't care. It was a guest speaker that was in class. Get done there and head to the 4 plex (which is our big computer lab) and check the status. OH YAY! It says that it is now in Mankato. Which means that I may or may not get it yet today. :sigh:
I head home not feeling the greatest, my stomach is acting funny and well I just kinda felt like shit. I start walking home. It is a balmy -4 degrees F with the wind chill and guess what it is blowing right in my face. (Injection, I got a ride to class today just didn't have a ride home.) So I deal with it thinking happy thoughts of hot coffee and warm comfy pjs....wait a minute... it is monday... that means my fav pjs are in the laundry basket waiting to be washed... FUCK! Fine.... I am willing to wait... It will be worth it... warm... soft... comfy... dryer fresh pjs... yeah I can wait.

Here's the ingenious part of my cunning plan. I occupied my mind while walking... I didn't feel that wind one bit. I thought about those warm comfy pjs. I get home, drop my bag and find some food. I go back to my room, open my door, wake my computer and hop online. I check emails and the status. WOOT! WOOT! OMG WOOT! my package is out for delivery.

I run out start a fresh pot of coffee, throw my laundry in the washer, start cleaning my room. So about 45 mins pass. I jsut finished vaccuming my room, when I glanced out the window and saw the UPS truck pulling up. The guy gets out and starts heading to the neighbors house. NOOOO!!!! Get back in your truck and give me my package!!! I shit you not I sat on my bed watching him like a hawk with bated breath and everything... it was hilarious! He heads back into his van and doesn't pull away. He emerges a couple of moments later carrying another box. This one reads NEWEGG on it. WAIT That's MINE! Sure as shit he heads towards my place. I run to the door and wait. He drops off the package as we greet each other. I shut the door and make a b line for my room.
I open the box and pull out another box, which holds another box. GAH!! Thankfully the last box held it. My laptop. MY LAPTOP! I do a little happy dance and begin to feverishly open the box, being very careful, looking at everything. Basking in the moment.

Fast forward 3 hours. I am sitting at my desk finishing up the bloat ware removal and finishing getting Vanguard installed. I start the game just to test it out. Oh so pretty. I stop playing and begin working on my homework. As I transfer files over from my desktop. (Still doing that now.)

So here I sit on my bed with a kitty out cold on one side and the other crushing my feet. I feel like shit, I am tired as hell, and I just want to go to bed. BUT WAIT! There's more. I gotta hit my new vapo. Gods I love that thing. I have a question for those that can and are willing to answer it.

What temperature do set for pot? My machine allows for over 500 degrees. I don't think that is needed. But I searched online. Yeah I googled that shit and I found around 400 degrees is what is recommended. Any suggestions for that or is around 400 perfect?

Well enough of my rambling on about my day. I hope that you enjoyed the read.

Odinsward.

p.s. Still looking for someone to offer up their cuddling services for these cold MN nights.

Well it seems that I have been neglecting a duty that I didn't know I had to do. *points at Bastet*

You young lady are asking me to write another blog.... Hmm what to put in it?

Not a lot has changed, though Squirt is fully recovered and back to his old self. Turns out he had a very large bladder stone on that was causing a lot of pain for him. He went thru surgery like a champ and was gallivanting around like always after a couple of days.

School just got back into session. My classes seem to be interesting so far. Let see I am taking a Public Speaking class. My professor for the class seems to have a few quirks that can be funny and may turn out to be annoying. Hard to say today was the first day of class.

My Logic class is gonna be a pain in the ass for me. I am a logical person and can make some very well written and articulate arguments. I lost to him at every turn today, so I have a ton to learn in this class.

I haven't started my World History class yet, the first day that meets is tomorrow. I have had this teacher before so I am not concerned about that aspect, just what we are gonna cover. From the books I think we will be touching on the Middle Eastern countries quite a bit. Most notably India and Pakistan. So 4 papers for that class, two of them are speeches. Not gonna be to difficult.

I have an online class as well, this is the first semester that I am taking one, so I concerned about it. I am in Database Integration, which deals with Excel and Access. Yay more software I need to buy. *sigh*

Other then that not much going on. Doing my thing and keeping myself alive through this cold MN winter. Yay blizzards. No seriously I love them.

Now for someone to cuddle with through the cold nights.

Any volunteers?

Laters!

So last night I noticed that our house cat (Squirt) was acting out of sorts. Today he was doing the same thing. I noticed that he is favoring his left front paw. He also hasn't been eating too much, and not really drinking water.
While we were looking at him, trying to see what was going on with his paw, he started to urinate on my bed. We called the vet right away and have an appointment for him tomorrow morning.

As of right now he is comfortably sitting on his favorite chair, blankets piled up for him. Will post more information as it becomes available.

Send your love and support to Squirt, he could use it.

So some random tripe to get shit off my chest.

1. What the fuck is wrong with people?
I mean honestly. Is it ever a good idea to lie to your best friend? Even when you know that you will be caught in the lie?

Some people's children. Not gonna go into details because that would not be proper. but for fuck's sake if your gonna lie to someone, make sure you can't and don't get caught.

2.WTF? So two days after my b-day, my now ex g/f decided to tell me that she fucked my friend the day after my birthday. Yet she wouldn't sleep with me.
Where did I go wrong? Who knows who cares. She is not worth my time or effort.

3. Why the fuck can't I find a decent woman? I know they are out there, they can't hide forever.
Is there something about me women can't or don't want to deal with? if so what the fuck is it so I can correct it.

4. Does anyone really give a flying fuck about people anymore? I see so much hate around me everyday at school, work, and home. I go to college that is not very LGBT friendly, has alot of racial issues, and is run by a staff that doesn't know what the word diversity means.

5. And finally. the last random piece of crap from me.
I am who I am, that is all I will ever be, love me for it or hate me for it. I care not anymore. I speak the truth as I see it and my truth may and more then likely is different from yours. You don't like it? Tough shit! I am not asking anyone to be my friend, I am not begging anyone for that. So until you can accept these minor traits of mine don't bother trying to be anything more then a disturbance of my reality.
Listen to this and tell me you don't feel a part of it some way, shape or form.

Youtube

*sings* Tonight, tonight tonight whose down to fuck tonight?

One day away from my 30th birthday. Over the past couple of weeks shit has hit the fan on numerous levels. Not sure what to think of my current place in life, but all I do know is that I have no complaints!

To surmise the past two weeks, is nearly impossible. Let me give it a chance.

So looking at the calendar and getting it all sorted it boils down to this:

The 6th I spent working on a bullshit math project where I had to design a new numeral system with rules of counting. I am also knee deep in American history lecture notes, books, and other sources trying to get prepared for midterm essay. To add insult to injury I also am busting out poems and starting a short story for Creative writing. Get a phone call from old friend, wants to do coffee on thursday, told her that is cool, but to make sure she was prepared for a long talk.

Fast forward to Thursday, get to math class, do a midterm and do a mini presentation on my number system (to give a preview of the system to classmates, every group had to do it.) Get done there and head to History where I bust out a maybe C grade midterm. Waste time between classes, wrote out what I wanted to say to her (long history, can't give details now). Head to class, get a full class critique on a poem. Head homeafter class to a buddy of mine waiting for me. He smokes me up because he didn't want to smoke alone, and I head out for coffee with my friend.

Get to the coffee shop, thinking I am gonna lose my friend because everything I have to say. We sit down and begin conversing, we get the bullshit talk out of the way, and get to the real nitty gritty. I lay it all out and give her a huge piece of my mind. She responds and we have a long talk about everything, she lays it all out and we discuss that. Next thing I know we are dating. Wait what?

Since then we have seen each other a few times, and carry on about our lives. I make my presentation to the class on my number system, bust out the first chapter of my short story, and am still waiting for my midterm grade in history.

We have to plan out our time together and she decides that she wants to spend the night on friday. Oh wait that is today. This is the only time she has this week to spend with me, so I get to spend the beginning of my birthday with my new girlfriend. This is the greatest b-day present ever!

Well time for me to get ready for work, come home and spend the night with my girl.

Later all,

Odinsward

Had a thought regarding my new found love of life.

*bear with me this is kinda sad*

Three years ago this month I lost my fiance to a virus called encephalitis. (sp?) I watched her slip into a coma and die in the hospital. This really fucked me up for a a long time. Hell I still deal with it to this day, and probably will for a long time yet to come. Yes I still wake up crying some nights.

This year I have been dealing with the pain that this month has held for me that past couple of years, only this time it doesn't hurt so much. Perhaps I have just gotten to a point that where it hurts but it is not crippling. I am not sure.

Things seem to be going good, still no wonderful lady in my life, but that is alright, not sure I want one right now anyways. I have school to deal with and work, and other issues. That will come with time, perhaps not, either way I really don't care.

My head is killing me today so this is all I am gonna ramble about for now.

Peace, love, and joyous sex to all.

I recently came to realize how much I enjoy life. This is a huge departure from my normal view of things. Perhaps this all changed when I started school last fall. Perhaps it was something else. I don't know. Something inside me changed. The best part is I love the change. I feel more alive then I ever have, I want to do more with my time, I want to see more of the world.

Who knows this may only be fleeting, but this feeling has lasted for a couple of weeks now. Hm must not think about it and just roll with it.

Any rate, just wanted to share that with all of you. If you read this and care to say something go ahead. I am gonna do my best to update this more often.

Take care folks and talk to you all soon.

p.s. just started dual boxing on Vanguard: Saga of Heroes. Damn running two computers and characters at once is a hassle. But the rewards far outweigh the work.