Well, what a lovely week I picked to start working at Gatwick.
Crisis management training, just for me!
Although it isn't really much of a disruption and its amazing how a couple of free chocolates and a sip of Pimms calms the Americans down.
I'm starting to get into it, but do feel what I feared- that it 'isn't me' in all its suit wearing, perfume selling, normal people serving glory.
The staff seem very normal too, which is what I feared. Perhaps I'll get to know them better.
Apart from that, the sleeve work is coming along and looking very nice indeed- can't wait to get some colour, then I can post some pics.
I sent 'the mail' to the ex, friend etc, saying I need her to get back to me to set a time to talk before I can consider her a friend.
I've got no response so far, and am getting into the worry zone.
That's the zone where I wonder perhaps my mail was too negative (I've re-read it, and it wasn't) and that perhaps something big and awful has happened to her, that's the reason she hasn't been responding to my mails over the last few weeks and when she gets them there will be three or four and she'll feel I'm being pushy.
But I don't know if something's happened, do I, and in any case, it was nothing to do with me.
Then the other part of me worries that perhaps she's finally carried out one of her suicidal urges and I'll never know anyway because I won't hear from her.
A 'goodbye' would be nice if that's what she wants... tho there's no point wondering what she wants- I've never quite worked that one out. We only dated for 3 months over 2 years ago, so I don't really know what the prob is.
Either way, I worry but I know I've just got to stop that and leave it now.
The ball's in her court.
.
Crisis management training, just for me!
Although it isn't really much of a disruption and its amazing how a couple of free chocolates and a sip of Pimms calms the Americans down.
I'm starting to get into it, but do feel what I feared- that it 'isn't me' in all its suit wearing, perfume selling, normal people serving glory.
The staff seem very normal too, which is what I feared. Perhaps I'll get to know them better.
Apart from that, the sleeve work is coming along and looking very nice indeed- can't wait to get some colour, then I can post some pics.
I sent 'the mail' to the ex, friend etc, saying I need her to get back to me to set a time to talk before I can consider her a friend.
I've got no response so far, and am getting into the worry zone.
That's the zone where I wonder perhaps my mail was too negative (I've re-read it, and it wasn't) and that perhaps something big and awful has happened to her, that's the reason she hasn't been responding to my mails over the last few weeks and when she gets them there will be three or four and she'll feel I'm being pushy.
But I don't know if something's happened, do I, and in any case, it was nothing to do with me.
Then the other part of me worries that perhaps she's finally carried out one of her suicidal urges and I'll never know anyway because I won't hear from her.
A 'goodbye' would be nice if that's what she wants... tho there's no point wondering what she wants- I've never quite worked that one out. We only dated for 3 months over 2 years ago, so I don't really know what the prob is.
Either way, I worry but I know I've just got to stop that and leave it now.
The ball's in her court.
.
Well, this time I avoided jinxes at all and got to see the friend, which was good.
That's the problem- its always good and I feel I'm trusting her again, then it gets distant.
Oh well. Small bricks placed into the wall are better than none at all.
Strangely enough, while waiting for her a girl came up started chatting to me, which never happens, and I mean never; I have complete date-o-phobia so I don't approach girls and it's generally the blokes who are supposed to do that... which is probably a vicious circle...
But at least it happens I suppose, so perhaps it will when not about to meet somebody I'm still kind of in limbo with!
Anyway I hope this kickstarts us carrying on getting to know eachother again, as friends or whatever. Once that's settled and I feel comfortable knowing her, I really think I'll feel comfortable with the phobia again.
Its just difficult- she went off to the 'bathroom' and I'm pretty sure I saw her outside crying before she came back, but I don't know- she's been up and down recently and I can only be friendly and help when she asks.
Apart from that, I simplified and punkified my sleeve design/s but need to get a proper consultation etc so I know how it'll all fit together.
And job wise, I just can't get to the airport, I know I perhaps should have worked out the cost involved and whether there was a night service before I signed up, but hey- at least I didn't start, get the training then started being unreliable.
I'd still like to work for a charity tho so I'm going to keep applying for that, and perhaps something will come up before I get an offer from one of thise nasty corporate retail jobs.
That's the problem- its always good and I feel I'm trusting her again, then it gets distant.
Oh well. Small bricks placed into the wall are better than none at all.
Strangely enough, while waiting for her a girl came up started chatting to me, which never happens, and I mean never; I have complete date-o-phobia so I don't approach girls and it's generally the blokes who are supposed to do that... which is probably a vicious circle...
But at least it happens I suppose, so perhaps it will when not about to meet somebody I'm still kind of in limbo with!
Anyway I hope this kickstarts us carrying on getting to know eachother again, as friends or whatever. Once that's settled and I feel comfortable knowing her, I really think I'll feel comfortable with the phobia again.
Its just difficult- she went off to the 'bathroom' and I'm pretty sure I saw her outside crying before she came back, but I don't know- she's been up and down recently and I can only be friendly and help when she asks.
Apart from that, I simplified and punkified my sleeve design/s but need to get a proper consultation etc so I know how it'll all fit together.
And job wise, I just can't get to the airport, I know I perhaps should have worked out the cost involved and whether there was a night service before I signed up, but hey- at least I didn't start, get the training then started being unreliable.
I'd still like to work for a charity tho so I'm going to keep applying for that, and perhaps something will come up before I get an offer from one of thise nasty corporate retail jobs.
