Wow. I haven't posted since Xmas. Well working two jobs and planning a wedding will do that. Maybe one day I'll have more free time to do more then look at pretty naked girls.

Just wanting to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. NOW GIVE ME PRESENTS!!!

She saw her from across the room but didn't anknowledge her. Gwenna kept to the side of the speaker blaring the repetative and dark beats. Jenny stared at her from the corner of the smoky room. She lit a cigarette as to contruibute to the ambience. She inhaled and quickly exhaled and made her way through the crowd. She stood to the left of the stage and watched the man sing with intense eyes. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the pretty brunette glance over, but any time Jenny looked Gwenna looked away. She stared at Gwenna as the song changed. she was a very attractive woman, a little plain. When Gwenna caught her staring she smiled, red lips parting. Jenny started toward her and she looked nervously away. Jenny walked right past her, heading for the bathroom door. Gwenna looked over her shoulder and saw Jenny just as the door was about to close.
Curious she followed slowly for the crowed idn't part for her as quickly as they did for the blonde. She pushed through the bathroom door and was greated by the red lips on hers. Jenny's tounge invaded her mouth and left a numb, bitter taste, folloed by a sweet cherry after taste.
"I'm Jenny"
"I know. I'm..."
Before Gwenna could introduce herself, Jenny disapeared into a stahl. She could see Jenny's fishnet clad legs underneath as she sat on the toilet. She heard her sniffle and flush the toilet. Jenny grabbed her hand and drug her to the dance floor.
"Gwenna, touch me."
Puzzled she leaned into her closer and ran her hands against the tops of Jenny's stockings. Watched her feet move and her hips sway. Gwenna's mouth still felt numb.
"Don't stop dancing." and Jenny pulled Gwenna closer.

What was it that he drew? I can see it unclearly in my head; but all I see are lines, words and a star. Was it a map? I can see it on the bottom of a yellow lined piece of paper. Above the drawing was a poem he wrote for his wife. That's what he did. He wrote poems for his wife, and the rest of his life. Some days I panic and think i can't remember his face. But I could never forget his face. my favorite image is of him slumped in his chair, mouth open slightly fighting to breathe, he always fought to breathe ever since I was little, before his problems. Anyways he is watching the news lifeless in his chair or concentrated I should say, not lifeless that is what he is now. And suddenly his whole body moves, the throws his head back and his feet go up into the air and he yells at the tv. Oh hell. Shit! and he calms down and holds his body as before, mouth slightly open fighting to breathe. I have the pictures to remember his face. There is one where I am alseep and he is lying next to me watching. people have a habbit to do that and I don't understand it. Every body sleeps but they pick me to watch.
I wonder if the map could be decifered. If I could find logic to it and go stand where the star was pklaced and if I would find him there. If I would feel the comfort of knowing I found him. I'm scared that I will never find him. Even when I too am dead.
This morning I wonder if he exisits, or if i do. He wanted me to go home. But I can't or I am home. He won't be there why, because he hasn't been.2 years now and it still hits me like a bus. every time. I wish I could find that poem.

So we have this REALLY tiny shower but we have a pretty big bathroom. We have lived hear in this house a year now and yesterday Fayd climbed into the shower with me. It was the sweetes couple of moments until we figured out no matter what way we tried we weren't going to be able to do anything. So we hopped out of the shower...
the door was left open and by the time I got back in to finish my shower, my floor was soaking wet. We're talking mini flood 2006!

yes updates are nice things i suppose. I found the Alice kitty this morning after he, she, it went missing last night out an open window. it has been sleeping on the floor for hours now. I'm out of cigarettes, die fayd die for taking the last pack. I'm on the phone with Becca, she's yelling at her son, her son is yelling back haha. His favorite movie is gone with the wind. he poops in the bath tub. He's 2.
I want one

I just got done looking at Regan's set meow! meow! I know I'm a bit behind. But I actually read the little intro thingy and invite you to do the same. (It's the blurb of words to the left of all the pictures) Anyways I can be an alien if there are any volunteers to be my pet human...
any takers?

thank you one and all for birthday wishes.

Make that a double ode to little hot pink pills a! I'm feeling groovy. Oops sorry wrong video game, killtacular! Anywhoo aparently when the 7year-old stay up til past One a.m. he slips up and when he dies he wants this "shit back." I am not kidding.
Oh yes and I am suffering my very first boil order. That's right there are bad things in the water, um scratch that make that MORE bad things and so we have to boil it before we drink, brush our teeth rinse the dishes, pour in ice tray ect. WE can bathe in it and wash our clothes but that makes it about all. As long as we don't chew on our clothes. I asked Fayd if i needed to wash him up with some of the magical boiled water so i could do naughty things but he says he washed with soap. Like that is different from when?

ode to little hot pink and peach pills that which will cure me of my bronchitis. It says take with food or milk and I wonder does a bowl of ice cream count as either?


Docotor also gave me a pregnancy test. It's negative. Rik insists doctor nurse lady could be wrong. Apparently his children don't blip on the radar screen until 3-6 months down the line.
That sucks. I want it to hit me fast and i want to KNOW there is something growing inside of me.