I think my time here has come to an end............

It seems as my short term goals lesson and my long term goals are slowly becoming accomplished I find myself once again where I started. With no job, No house, and no one to love. Maybe this is the way life is for all of us. I can simply speak from my own experiences, but it seems the more I think I have figured out something the closer I come to the harsh realization that I don't know shit.
"One step forward and two backwards"
I think this incoherent babel stems from my return from "gods country"
"The Lakota, the Navajo they can all say what ever they want. This here is gods country and if they don't like it they can kiss my red ass"-Justin "boots" ( Nez Perce )
My trip was wonderful, amazing, and all things great. Then "SLAP" here I am back in reality. I think often lately of abandoning my bills and all responsibility and doing as I please.......God I think those "Injuns" rubbed off on me

Pictures and a better update when ever I get around to it.

Getting on a plane in 3 1/2 hours to go Home

Cant belive I fucking drove to Canada........So gald I did though

Today my Best friend/mentor/teacher had me over for dinner and we discussed my trip and our relationship. He then gifted me with two eagle feathers wrapped in a bundle with sage he hand picked in New Mexico and tobacco gifted to him from Chief Marie the last in the line of chiefs from Alaska. His 10 year old son then gave me a gift as well. His son had mentioned to me yesterday that he has been saving all his money for the whole summer to buy himself something from his fathers store. What he wants is a snake made out of Fima clay. It is beautiful and one of a kind. It is also 110 dollars with his family discount.....He had known that I wanted to learn language. If I am to work with me people I need to be able to speak the language. Well with his own money he bought me a book to teach me a native language. It wasn't much but to hear about how much he wanted this snake and that with the summer being almost over and him being so close to the 110 dollars. To know that he spent 35 dollars of his own money on me meant a lot.

I find myself sinking back into the depression I have struggled painstakingly to fight off.

Copy of my post in First Nations


I will be taking my trip out to the reservation in ten days. There is mixed emotion about the whole process. As much as I want to be home in the attempt to find family I never knew I had, The attempt to appease the government and get a damn plastic card saying that I am indeed native. So that way they will pay for my schooling. I find myself looking back a lot. Unhappy with modern life, longing for the days of LittleTree. I don't really know what I'm complaining about. Even in this day and age in a little remote/hick town I manage to submerse myself in my culture. I would give anything to ride freely across the plains...........

Is it possible to add the entire Apnea and benni set to my favorites.

My weekend
Friday: Heat Exhaustion
Saturday: Pow Wow
Sunday: Pow Wow continued
Monday: Made out with a very attractive women, After she kissed me she informed me she was born a male but has lived her entire life as a women....................

How was your week?

I've been so busy as of late. I hardly get to come and say hi anymore. Two jobs, and promoting my nephew's record label and his artists. So my time has really been filled with hyping the new record, designing there web page, contacting new business partners and replying to fans.
Ugh. I miss you guys, and girls
On the brighter side of things. My trip is set and final. Washington then montreal. I really cannot wait to visit the rez as well as see some of the most wonderful people ever. I am so glad we got this chance.
Thanks so much Sarah for everything your doing for me. I'll be there in the afternoon of August 18th. Let me know when and where you would like to meet up.
Then its on to the lovely country of Canada to visit Nadine in Montreal. I miss talking to you so much. These feelings are almost surreal

I'm back. Did you miss me??

I will be in Washington on the 18th of August. I cannot wait. To get there and see the rez, as well as visit with Sarah.

Hopefully if all goes well I will see my father tomorrow. For only the fifth time in my life. I really need information from him about our family and the reservation. I spent part of the night finishing up a medicine pouch for him. I have some hand picked sweet grass as well. I am hoping that this peace offering will show that I am not looking to get back at him for the past.

Wish me Luck.