Im so sad. Ive been at the hospital for the last 3 hours. A close friend had to have emergency surgery and was pregnant and lost the baby. Im so angry and sad and sigh...
It just brings bad horrible memories and I hate to see someone I love go through this cuz I know how very impossibly hard it is...the hurt is unbearable...

I have to head out to do a show in a few minutes. Hoping to sell alot today, I really want to get my car fixed. I was bored and was listenin to some older CDs I havent listened to in a while and took note in some songs I forgot how much I love. Mmmm music is so much better than anything.

Showdown (G.E.P.) – Propagandhi
I want U to Want Me - Propagandhi
Green Corn - NOFX
New Boobs - NOFX
Cheese/Wheres my Slice - NOFX
Dent - Bigwig
Smile - Bigwig
Numbers - Bigwig
Sellout - Bigwig
No Time - Asst. Jellybeans
They Always come Back - Voodoo Glow Skulls
Mr. Bossman - Voodoo Glow Skulls

SONG OF THE DAY: Sad Astronaut by Lagwagon

So I didnt have to work tonight which is odd cuz I almost always have a show on a Friday night. I truly didnt know what to do with myself so I stayed home and looked at the beautiful ladies on this website and peeked at a couple cute suicide boys and talk to a couple people. But now Im just sitting around here trying to think of things to do other than write my third journal entry for the day LOL!

But I failed which is okay because I've had something on my mind that I want to get out. So I was hanging out with a friend of mine that I always thought was pretty cool. And I was tellin her about this site and how awesome it is and bout how Im gonna apply. Well she looked at me completely serious faced and asked "You really dont think you'd get accepted do you?"

Wow, for once in my life I was speechless! Honestly before I could even pick my jaw up off the floor she said she couldnt be around me at the moment and left. Flabbergasted! Now Im not shocked cuz I think Im some kind of irresistable sex goddess LOL. Its just that I have always been comfortable with who I am, I like me a lot inside and out. It just always blows my mind when someone I care about says something so seemingly cruel without being provoked.

Anywho, I knew there would be people who would disapprove of me trying out for this. I just wasnt expected to find out they think Im not pretty enough LOL! Honestly I am taking it in stride, I truly dont care all that much whether she wants my sexy body LOL! Oh God, I should go to sleep Im turning Super Silly.

I spose Im writing this to get all your opinions (not about my looks). About her comment. Was that a shot or could there be some other meaning to it? I've tried to talk to her about it but now she wont return my calls. God I feel like we're dating on the verge of breaking up LOL!!! What do I do, why wont she return my calls, does she think Im ugly LOL oh man funny shit...

So its really weird how you can be in such a rotten mood and everything is going so wrong and then all of sudden one lil thing changes everything. All of a sudden everything bad is gone and you're just so happy again. And then you realize that you're happy and that just makes you even happier LOL!!!

I have a sketch of the sleeve Im getting worked on, Im debating on whether to put it up or not. Im kinda thinkin Im gonna keep it a surprise...oooooo....Im soooo mysterious

Now you're sitting there wondering arent you? Oh I bet you want to know so bad LOL! Im such a gomer!!!! Hehe, I love it.

Favorite song today - It's Tragic by No Use For A Name

Im so fuckin irratated. Today the world decided to take a big fuckin crap on my head. Argh. Had to work my part time job this mornin and I shut the alarm off when it went off and fell back asleep aparently cuz next thing I know my boss is calling to see where I am. Luckily he's awesome and didnt care but I was still pissed at myself. Then I fuckin get home after work and get a call from my boss with the sex toy job and we had it out. I let her know a few things that shes been doin to piss me off lately, I mean I really snapped, I have a temper problem. So whatever that really sucked cuz now she's fuckin pissed at me.

Then, get this its so messed up, I have a 2002 Honda Insight. Now for those of you who dont know this is a hybrid car, part battery part gas. So we took it into the emissions test like we have to do every other year not thinking we'll have a problem cuz its a hybrid and has like no emissions. And guess what??? It fucking fails!!!!!!! How is this possible?!?!?!?!?!? Right, so, I have to figure this one out next week.

To top things off my caddillac just took and crap and the transmission is blown. Sigh, none of this would be a problem if I could just win the f'ing lottery. But then I would have to start playing to win, damn!

Now any little thing that happens is pissing me off....burned my tongue on soup, spilled coffee on my white shirt, a bird crapped right in my line of vision on my car, smacked my tattoo on a fuckin door (that hurt)....

So now Im sitting here brooding, not moving much cuz Im afraid I might accidently kill myself by tripping on my pants and clocking my head on the desk corner and landing on my stained glass I have laying around for artwork Ill never finish. But eventually Im gonna have to pee...so if you all dont see me around that is prolly what happened LOL

ooo felt good to laugh a lil. Sigh, I hate being angry....

had to edit cuz i dont know how to type but then I remembered I dont care....

So my arm is slightly sore today but nowhere near as annoying as a piercing is the next day. Im really happy i finally just went and got it done. I have been toying with getting a sleeve of stars for years now but just didnt have the balls to get it started...yay me!

My friend (tatt artist) is sketchin up the design for me since i cant draw. Maybe I will post it so you all dont think im weird for getting an empty star lol!

I think Im going to be more addicted to tattoos than piercings. Thats really shocking to me. Great, I gotta pick the more expensive of the two, figures.

Anywho, Ill quit talking bout my tattoo for a minute and go wash some dishes cuz that will make my ice hands warm. Have fun ladies and gents.

I DID IT!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT!!!!!!! ITS IN MUH ONLY PIC FOLDER!

Very simple, the beginning of something beautiful though just wait. Next phase occurs next Tuesday (lol) at 1:01pm!

I am so satisfied!

WTF! Two nights in a row now with only 3 hours a sleep grrrr...I have to drink so much caffiene that I look like I gots the shakes! Hmmm Im hungry...what else is new. Ima bug my friend today and she if she got the pictures develop and then Ima make Tuesday help me pick out the best ones Thats what you get for being a flirt lil girl LOL!

Biiiiig sigh. I hafta go work for dad today, I dont like working around hay, makes me sneeze a bunch. Altho I do like playing with the mule and the horse. They are fun, I especially like to chase the mule. She loves it when you run after her sayin "Ima get you!" LOL Im serious too, weird huh? Not as weird as the lesbian pygmy goats tho...

Why in God's name am I sitting here at 5am babbling on?!? Dear Lord, it is freezing in my house, I must go get dressed before I die hehe

Yay! I have the appointment set to get my first tattoo this Tuesday at 1:01pm. All good things happen on Tuesdays. Im so excited. I think mostly cuz im out of piercings I want soooo I need a new release.

I had so much fun today. My friend and I finally got together to get some pics for my SG app. I cant wait to see how they turned out, we had waaaaay too much fun. Sometimes I just really love loving life hehe.

As an extra bonus I had really awesome french onion soup today. MMmmmm foooood. I think I want to make dinner now....

I cant wait to get healthy so I can go get my tatt...Im pratically peeing muh pants in anticipation LOL! Tuesday, you just made me more excited about it! My friend is a really awesome tattoo artist and im gonna ask him to do it, mostly cuz he'll baby me while Im scared LOL! I can handle any piercing you throw at me but Im terrified of a tattoo, I am such an odd ball.

On a totally different note, I made the mistake of buying 4 new CD's at once and now I can figure out which one to listen to cuz all four are super awesome. Lagwagon - Resolve, Thrice - Vheissu, No Use For A Name - Keep them Confused, and My Chemical Romance - 3 Cheers For Sweet Revenge. Maybe I should just make a huge playlist with them alternating...hmmm...thas a really good idea! Im a genius...I've got work to do!!!!