Getting ready to run a 5k race today, I'm pretty nervous. Not trying to win, just want to finish strong. Wish me luck.

Leaving for California in a few hours, I can't wait to see San Diego, LA, and San Fran. I have a new camera so lots of pics will be taken. I needed this vacation so bad, I've been on the verge of breakdown so I hope this trip makes up for it. Only set back, my fear of flying. See you soon Pacific Ocean.

Going on the bus in a few hours to go back home and eat lots of turkey, hope all of you do the same. Until next time earthlings have a good one.

I just got 2 of my wisdom teeth yanked out a few hours ago. I'm in fucking pain, and I can't feel my bottom lip and my mouth if full of gauze so I can't eat anything and I'm so hungry. I think I'm going to take some vicodin and pass out.
If you want to make me happy go listen to my podcasts @ Auditory Hallucinations and let me know what you think.
Alright time for bed.

Today I blatantly insulted a co worker in front of others. Why can I not keep my mouth in check. Why do I feel the need to say what's really in my head. It's my dislike for most people that makes me say what I really think of them. And I'd like to think that I say what I say because they're an asshole. But the difference is that I know I am, they think they're witty or cool. Well fuck you Mr. X, kiss my ass Ms. Y, guess what... I hate you both for even breathing come near me and I'll tell you that to your face and more.

Today, one of my close friends from Buffalo is coming to visit and stay with me until Wednesday, funny thing is I'm going to go see her in Buffalo at the end of the month. Finally someone I can talk to that understands me just a little.

If walmart can get my fucking order right, maybe I can have my bike by the end of the week.

I'm very close to finishing my game, which means a new tattoo for me.

Question: How the hell did I develop OCD?

PS:

How did your state score?
Rank State Score Rank State Score
1 Oregon 90.6 27 Arkansas 83.8
2 Washington 88.2 28 Virginia 83.5
3 Vermont 87.5 29 Arizona 83.4
4 Idaho 87.3 30 Georgia 83.2
4 South Dakota 87.3 31 Louisiana 83.2
6 Montana 87.2 32 North Carolina 83.1
7 Nebraska 87 33 Maine 83.1
8 Kansas 86.8 34 Ohio 83
9 Iowa 86.7 35 Oklahoma 82.9
10 Wyoming 86.2 36 Alabama 82.8
11 Wisconsin 86.1 37 Missouri 82.7
12 Minnesota 86 38 Delaware 82.7
13 Alaska 85.8 39 Nevada 82.6
14 California 85.6 40 South Carolina 82.3
15 Indiana 85.2 41 Florida 82.3
15 Colorado 85.2 42 Pennsylvania 82.1
17 Michigan 85.1 43 New Mexico 81.5
18 North Dakota 85 44 Connecticut 80.9
19 West Virginia 84.8 45 Hawaii 80.7
20 Utah 84.5 46 Maryland 79.5
21 Mississippi 84.4 47 New York 79.4
22 Illinois 84.3 48 New Jersey 78.6
23 Tennessee 84.2 49 Massachusetts 78.6
24 Texas 84 50 District of Columbia 76.5
24 Kentucky 84 51 Rhode Island 75.1
26 New Hampshire 83.9



With the Bronze medal is MA, we're the 3rd state in the US with the worst drivers. Yet another reason why I love living here.

I am in a lot of fucking pain. These percocet's aren't working. I've never been in so much pain in my life. It literally feels like my nuts are in a vice and my abs feel like I've done 2000 crunches. It hurts to walk, sit, cough... I need better drugs. Remind me to never get a hernia again.

Alright, time to go feel sorry for myself on the couch...

So I'd like to thank all you that gave me a birthday shout out, whether you called, emailed, or texted me I won't forget it. Especially to my mom who called me at work to wish me a happy 28th, last year she forgot but this year she came through.
Unfortunately it wasn't the greatest of birthday's since I started get sick on it. And I'm still pretty bad right now, I even had to call out sick today... I never do that. I feel cold and hot all at the same time and no matter how long I take a shower I still feel dirty and achy.
In other news I've been kicked out of SGBoston, don't really know why, actually I have a guess, but didn't think I've pissed anyone off since I've been away for so long. Oh well, maybe my Brooklyn roots will let me in SGNY.
Next week is spring break where I work so I'll have that whole week free to do whatever I might need to do to catch up on life. In other bad news I have to go to the hospital on the 13th and get a CT scan to see if I have a hernia. I've been having pain "down there" and when I went to the doctor and he felt me up he said I might have developed a small hernia. So I have to go and see. Wish me luck... first a kidney stone now this, not really having much luck "down there".
Today I sign my new lease and will be the proud renter of a 2 bdrm. apt. in JP... now to find a subletter. My work is never done.
Next month I get to go home again, then May anime convention, June I get to go to Buffalo and DC, and sometime before the end of the year to Cali I go... it's about time I get out of the house.
Well till next time, I'll try and write more frequent entries but I'm always workin' on something to keep my self busy.

Random fact: still haven't had a cigarette since New Year's Eve.... kick ass!

So I have to start by apologizing to some people that I've long ignored. Since Thanksgiving I've felt like I haven't stopped moving. Between looking for a new job, looking for a new apartment, trying to get rid of my apartment now, dealing with going home (Brooklyn), taking care of day to day things, going to work and spending more time there than I'd like, I've had no time to breathe.

I've felt like too many things have passed me by. Not having anytime to smell the roses leaves me kind of empty. I'm either at work or home doing some sort of work. Friends have become a thing of the past, not that I have any in the first place.

I've started to enjoy reading about computers and how to take them apart and back together, learning about different software and what they do. I guess the new glasses I got have turned me into a nerd.

I'm starting to think my own mother has stopped loving me. I got her and my sister a present for Christmas and neither one of them called me to wish me a merry Christmas. I know I can be a bastard but the two people I thought would love me no matter what - don't... people wonder why I don't like anyone.

Today will be 11 days without a cigarrette... it's gotten really hard. I see people smoking all the time now and I just want to grab it out of their hands and puff away. The thing I fear the most about quitting is the weight gain. It took me so long to take off the weight the first time I quit, I don't want to deal with it again. I'm not even using the patch or anything, just willpower and with the stress I've been feeling lately it's starting to crack...

I need a big warm hug.......

Reason # 59872 to live: Charis

PS: I miss kwizzle