I learned today that when I was a few months old my dad used to ride around town with me sitting on the handlebars of his motorcycle.

I think that explains alot about my personality.

Thanks dad, for the nature AND the nurture.

I think Yoda had a trophy wife.

I went kayaking yesterday.
I am reading a book on pirates.
I will bring the word YaAaaAaarh! back into common usage.

Being a practicing atheist is sometimes difficult in light of, so to speak, the beauty of a Florida sunset, sunrise, lightning storm, or tropical rain both heavy or light.

The belief that there is no higher conciousness than your own is nearly impossible to maintain when one of those events coincides with your drive home from work whilst you drive with the car windows down (assuming the rain has yet to fall) in the 90 degree heat and a mild sadness that there is nobody in the passenger seat to share it with.



Behold! An event more engrossing than all of the Star Wars prequels.

Thunder and Lightning everywhere! That is clearly the work of pagan gods. High wind sheer, stratification of the ambient tropospheric temperature, electrical fields.... they FAIL to adequately explain tropical lightning storms.

Furthermore your mom fails to adequately explain why there is never anyone in the passenger seat when these tropical storms are around. Mayhaps the aforementioned gods know how I love flirting and see fit to make me single during the summers that I may engage in that activity at my discretion.

Although the summer-flirtation theory is somewhat ruined by the fact they've shown me EVE, released San Andreas for the XboX, and are dangling the release of Battlefield 2 in front of me like a massive hurricane of multi-player fun on the horizon.

Ah well... whatever the case its sure to be an action-packed summer. An excellent prelude to next years no doubt.

Also! I have a puppy. Her name is Elektra. Pictures are imminent! Brace yourselves or end up like the sofa downstairs, RUINED BY NIBBLOR!!! THE NIBBLENATOR!!!

I have a new goal in life, from the twisted world of my new MMORPG addiction.

As of Friday May 20th, 2005:

1 US$ Dollar = 6,190.40 Zimbabwe Dollar
1 US$ Dollar = 4,642.00 Zambian Kwacha
1 US$ Dollar = 23,830.0 Mozambique Metical
1 US$ Dollar = 15,850.0 Vietnamese Dong
1 US$ Dollar = 7,900.00 Iranian Rial

1 US$ Dollar = 10.97 Mexican Peso


As of May 20th, 2005 Prices on Ebay:

1 US$ Dollar = 4,000.00Gold in the MMORPG Guild Wars.
1 US$ Dollar = 10Gold in the MMORPG World of WarCraft.


As far as the ebay 'money market' is concerned GWs are a stronger currency than those of Zimbabwe, Zambia, Iran, Vietnam, Mozambique, and only slightly weaker than a few others I neglected to mention.

And 1 WoW is (slightly stronger) roughly equivalent, to one mexican peso.

My future as a fictional currency economist is going to be bright and grand indeed. I'll be the Magus of a strange new career, Greenspan meets Gandalf.

Now, i'm not sure this information really tells us much, other than what the money is trading for. 10 WoW buys 1 US dollar. 10 Pesos buy one US dollar. Of course we don't know the relative purchasing power of each or anything about the strength of the economies. Just because the Yen is 100.00 to the dollar doesn't mean a Japanese Burger flipper isn't making 500¥ to our flippers 5$. Also.. a burger here may cost $5.00 but in Japan it may cost 500¥.

I guess we won't be able to determine much about the WoW or GW until they start selling burgers in-game. It will be difficult, but I guess my next task is to determine the GDP, and GNP of the respective game-worlds, exports and imports and whatnot.

The only conclusions I can draw is that we'd better hope the WoW's value doesn't plummet due to usurious east coast banks and a dive in world oil prices. Although if that did happen then we'd likely find most of our lawn and gardening work done by Orcs and Elves.. both of which are races renowned for having green thumbs... so to speak.
Also, if someone from the US was interested in visiting the world of Azeroth, now would be a good time due to the relative weakness of the WoW.

Over the next few weeks and months I will be gathering as much data as I can.

Or, instead, just whacking things with my mace.
I think that sounds more fun.

Every summer the radio-monkeys begin playing some type of music that i've been into for years.

Last summer mainstream America learned of the wonders of Soca and Reggaeton. And although Kevin Little may have been my singer of choice in 2002 I have very much moved on... which brings me to the point of my post:

AMERICA PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS SUMMERS PAINFUL FORIEGN MUSIC INVASION!!

If Mainstream radio is 2 years behind my god-awful musical tastes then you should start eating curry and paste a little dot on your forehead... because THIS SUMMERS SMASH hits most likely come from the land of many-armed gods and no-english tech-help!

Prepare yourself for the musical stylings of DJ Jazzy Hans Raj Hans and MCs LiL Babla and Ice Kanchan!



If only they made provocative posters of these two... I could tear down one of my Britney Spears posters and put them in her place.

Soon all the ricers in your neighborhood will be blasting Dadiya Mori Laylay with their windows down.

You will be unable to resist the urge to dance with the nearest attractive male... he will chase you through the palmaries (is this an actual english word or did I just english-ify a nice latin one?) as you dance away from him.. eyeing him.. teasing him onward... DADIYA MORI LAYLAY you will sing... your dance will be sultry and seductive... ... finally! he catches you... you both fall to the soft green indian grass... and then.. as he draws near for one passionate kiss... all of the townspeople walk down from behind the shrine to Ganesh laughing and throwing flowers.

FUCK OFF TOWNSPEOPLE!!!

My favorite brazilian girl in the whole world has jetted home to brazil.

To those of you who don't have a brazilian girl I recommend getting one. They're really wonderful creatures.

Work, previously a place of immeasurable joy, has changed to resemble more actual work. I am at a loss to describe the level of stupidity it might require to make a place such as my workplace dull, dreary, or even tedious. Suffice it to say that, if I were to quantify that level of stupidity as a letter, say U... then certain people at my place of employment are probably U squared.


For those of you with nothing better to do...

Love and Other Games of Chance

One of the finest books i've ever read.

Whats up with everyone getting married these days?

I could never marry a woman who doesn't like Boom-Shak-a-LaK by Apache Indian:




I just couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with a girl who didn't wine her body... and couldn't wriggle her belly... and refused to dip and go down in a the new styleeee....


There is shocking little to post about these days. As evidenced by the fact that I have not posted an update in well over a week.

I was going to roadtrip to Chicago this week... but that was brutally aborted by my place of employment like so many floppy whale fetuses.

Next week I will be getting a new tattoo and starting a populist revolution in either Central America or Wyoming depending on the weather.

In the meantime if any of you should find a girl who lines it up and wines it up and does the boom-shak-a-lak til the dancehall full up... please forward her to my address.

My grades are pitiful, my love life is strange and not entirely satisfying, my room is a mess, i'm spilling money like a money-tanker run aground in a pristine wildlife habitat (mostly on things chocolatey, alcoholic, or soft and squishy that are fun to kiss), my job is in danger, I have three grey hairs in my head that keep growing back... greyer each time,
and i'm the only person at work who prefers ninjas to pirates (i'm just in a ninja mood right now, i'm feeling very ninjaie today).

I'm getting too old for this. Life is getting on my nerves. Its time for me to meet the stripper of my dreams and move to the Azores and raise goats.

All in all life is pretty good. I hope to go visit a pretty island with a pretty girl in a week or so, not sure which island yet but i've got the girl all picked out!

Yesterday as I walked through the Men-In-Black qeue I noticed THIS

sitting on one of the Alien-receptionists desks.

Its funny cuz its true.

Moving to Tampa was delayed so that I can remain enslaved to Universal. Soon I will be promoted to overseer and that will give me a slightly larger amount of power to abuse.

In the meanwhile I am looking for a cheap studio to rent since every property I looked at between here and Tampa was sold way over the market value to some 2.3-kid couple just aching to pay too much for there 1st home.

Who wants to room with me?