fuck my life, for serious.

i am so irritated with everything.

we still don't have a place to live and i am terrified that the place i am going to look at tomorrow is going to be rented out from underneath us because right now it seems pretty much perfect.

i got a 78% on my first exam this quarter. we only have three grades for the entire class, so at this point, there is no possible way to get an A, which is totally going to hurt my psych average. UGH!

so yah, fuck!


additionally, i just ended up reading a ton of stuff on the Michigan Womyns Music Fest message boards about their "gender politics" and it is pretty much infuriating. It was linked from a thread in one of the groups that I am in so I decided to check it out. It's pretty much filled with hate and trans-misogyny.

so for the past couple of weeks, i have been a completely unreasonable ball of nerves, which i am sure is tons of fun for all my friends and loved ones.

our lease is up in a month. i love my house and i love my neighborhood. some of my roommates can be, at times, intolerable and passive aggressive, but for my count, they are the ones that are going to be moving out. ryan wants to move out and live with two of our other friends, neither of whom have agreed to actually live with us. wOOt wOOt! i would much rather stay here or live somewhere with just the two of us, but sometimes, she can be quite unyielding. tomorrow, we are going to look at a three bedroom so that these two people who haven't agreed to live with us will have rooms in our new magical fantasy living situation.

i have also become increasingly insecure about everything. i get really down and really on edgy easily lately.

also, this weekend was comfest. yay, whatever. i get that it's a great thing and it doesn't count on advertising and all such bullshit, buuuut, i live mere blocks away from the park where it's held, so my neighborhood turns into a hippy crash zone for three days. i have to wait until 3 am to move my car from the driveway to the street so i can get to work because where there are cars parked in our alley, which there always are for comfest, we can't get out of the driveway. plus, that means that there are fucking constant parties at the house, which is also quite an irritant when you're already annoyed with EVERYTHING!

i need some semblance of an idea as to what is going on in my life...

girl talk rocks my world!

Last night I had dinner with Julia Serano. It was pretty much amazing. Ryan and I drove to Cincinnati to hear her speak and my friends Bridget and Stevanne were instrumental in bringing her there, so we all got to go out to dinner, along with four other people who are involved in the UC Womens, Gender and Sexuality Studies program. It was so completely awesome and I know so few people who would even know who she was for this to be a good story.

aaahhh...i finally have my internet back.

i am about 90% moved into the house with ryan and people. i still have some boxes to store in the basement and some clothes in my closet. plus, cat and cat accessories. currently, however, the house is not really cat friendly. there are two screen doors without latches so a curious cat could bolt straight to the outside without anyone being able to stop him. overall, i'm pretty pleased with being here. i was sort of worried about going from living alone for so long to being dumped in the middle of a whole house of people, but it's really not been too bad. i have just gotten so lazy about moving. i could have everything over and done with, but since i have until the 30th to be out of the apartment, i'm taking my sweet time in getting things done. plus, i am 100% putting off the final cleaning part of moving out of the old place. i haaaaate cleaning so much.

otherwise, things are going very well. i am starting college again on the 30th of march. my last week at the thrift store is next week. working at hot topic is still going pretty well, despite the midnight twilight movie release party.

i guess you could say things are looking up...

pink party pictures!




sometimes i like to take a series of pictures of myself, so you can get the full effect, without actually being there.
plus, i really liked my boobs that day. they looked pretty sweet.

also, my super cute girlfriend

so i just finished my web registration for classes spring quarter!!!!!!!!! yay yay yay!
in march, i'm moving in with ryan and roommates.
my parents are going to try to help out with my first quarter of school and with the cost of breaking my lease.
the weather was actually nice today. i wore flip flops to work today.
life right now = good!

how come things have to be really good and really bad all at the same time?

sooo, at the end of march, i will no longer be working at the thrift store. i've been working there for almost four years and haven't really been happy working there for any of that time. i actually really love working at hot topic, as lame as it sounds. the people that work there are really awesome and educated and actually understand me and where i'm coming from most of the time. they don't judge or question things about me or thing about my relationship. i just really like it. so, i am going to keep working there part time, and if all goes as i would like it to, maybe as a key holder.
also, i am going back to school. i am working on getting everything in line to start back to ohio state spring quarter. i'm going to get a second undergraduate degree in psychology and then hopefully move to the west coast and get my masters in counciling psych.
everything is really amazing on that front. i can't wait to go back to school. the idea of being able to engage my mind again and learn more and more things makes me so very happy.

the bad part is that i am going to be making about 1/4 of what i am making now. half the hours at half the pay does not work out for the best. this means that i am going to need to move out of my spacious apartment and find somewhere new to live. ideally i am going to be living with ryan, possibly in her current house or in another friend's house, in september. that is what i would like to be doing, at least. so, this means taht from march until september i am basically homeless. i can't move in with ryan now because there really isn't anywhere for me to move. someone who already is living there needs to move out so that my things can absorb their former space. well, there is a way i could live there....there is, in fact, a totally empty front room, filled only with bikes at this point. my things could live there, as could my cat. it would be good, very good, but i'm not sure how to broach the topic with ryan and roommates. i mean, it would help them out because it would be less rent money for everyone but i'm not sure how exactly ryan would react. i mean, we basically live together anyway, but actually living together is a lot more stressful....ugh! this sucks!

i fail new years.

i've got a really bitchen' flu, so i haven't eaten anything real since monday night. ryan and i had fancy dinner reservations and i had to cancel them. i pretty much canceled new years all together and was just a huge blob of pathetic all night....went to sleep even before midnight. ryan got me gatoraid, jello numbers and apple slices to try and heal me and hung out with me while i was pathetic, which is more than i could actually ask for.

laura is throwing a "second chance at new years" party for us on saturday. i am hoping to at least not feel like hell by then so i can dance and enjoy the company of my friends.