...
There’s too much in my head.
Too many points of views.
So far apart, you wouldn’t believe they came from the same mind.
...
Tonight is thick and heavy and hot.
It’s ticking slowly towards a full speed crash.
I keep telling myself it’s just coming off the tablets.
It’s ok.
It’ll pass.
I don’t really feel this way.
Can feelings really be pretend?
And how do you mean to tell which ones are real?
You know they’re all real.
Contradictory perhaps, but real.
...
I can’t think of things worth this.
I can’t think of anything I want to feel tomorrow.
I know so many phenomenal feelings, I’ve had them, I don’t need to feel them again tomorrow.
Or next week, or ever ever again.
I know how beautiful and intricate the world is, the magic in the sunbeams through the clouds, but I don’t feel the need to feel it’s warmth, I know it will be just as beautiful without me.
I hold an entire universe in my head, I know it’s every twist and turn, I know it’s secrets.
I don’t need anything else.
Oh to breathe the last breath.
...
I feel like I’m stuck to my chair, unable to move away from the droning credits after the show.
...