So I'm spinning my tires. I try and try to work on this paper, but I am coming to no avail. I have 4 pages out of my 10 completed. All i need to do is figure out how to consecrate myself from the rest of the world and just do this damned thing, however what's hard is I haven't my laptop. If I did, then maybe I could go to a dark corner of the library and pound it out. But I'm stuck with a desktop.
I'd like to thank the girls who made last night tolerable through out my struggles. The comments were appreciated. Although I do apologize to my wonderful Darling Steph because I didnt finish it like you told me to do.
You can punish me later for it...
No but seriously though, I will finish it tomorrow. Hopefully before I crash I will have 6 pages or so... I'm just struggling with it. Anyone who wants to help me, let me know, I'd be more than glad to let you. Also, I will need a proof reader for the paper. Anyone want to help with that too?
All I need to do is focus... then i can do it...
Best comment of the night though: get your paper done, damnit
(stephypants) <-- I love her 
I'd like to thank the girls who made last night tolerable through out my struggles. The comments were appreciated. Although I do apologize to my wonderful Darling Steph because I didnt finish it like you told me to do.
You can punish me later for it...
No but seriously though, I will finish it tomorrow. Hopefully before I crash I will have 6 pages or so... I'm just struggling with it. Anyone who wants to help me, let me know, I'd be more than glad to let you. Also, I will need a proof reader for the paper. Anyone want to help with that too?
All I need to do is focus... then i can do it...
Best comment of the night though: get your paper done, damnit
(stephypants) <-- I love her I love my friends, old and new...
I know they are here for me...
I just wish someone would ask me, hey want to go for a ride and share your problems with me?
because deep down thats all i want... is for someone to come along who can try to help me... someone to care enough to be like, why can't you sleep? Why are you sad? What's wrong...
but, hey... don't worry about me... thats why i've got movies, cigarettes, and SG... a small bit of happyness in my rather grey world now a days...
I promise I will quit smoking when my problems fade. I tend to only smoke during the winter, i dunno why. (actually I do, long story). And I need a good cry... Reign Over Me will do it...
And I will finish my paper... even if It takes me until Tuesday morning... (Its not due until wednesday but I can't turn it in then because I am going home early... Hence my due date was bumped up by me... as long as I am in Williamsport by 3 on Tuesday I'll be Fine)
Have fun kiddos...
PS: If anyone wants to buy me a copy of the Reign Over Me (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) Original Score... I'd love that...
PSS: My Father and Late Grandfather was are Firemen, I would be one, but I haven't the body structure or the time to get bulky so i can go to the Academy. If I could, I would be one in a heartbeat... Ask me about it sometime... I'll tell ya...
PS*: Firetruck siren ringtones are awesome...
I know they are here for me...
I just wish someone would ask me, hey want to go for a ride and share your problems with me?
because deep down thats all i want... is for someone to come along who can try to help me... someone to care enough to be like, why can't you sleep? Why are you sad? What's wrong...
but, hey... don't worry about me... thats why i've got movies, cigarettes, and SG... a small bit of happyness in my rather grey world now a days...
I promise I will quit smoking when my problems fade. I tend to only smoke during the winter, i dunno why. (actually I do, long story). And I need a good cry... Reign Over Me will do it...
And I will finish my paper... even if It takes me until Tuesday morning... (Its not due until wednesday but I can't turn it in then because I am going home early... Hence my due date was bumped up by me... as long as I am in Williamsport by 3 on Tuesday I'll be Fine)
Have fun kiddos...
PS: If anyone wants to buy me a copy of the Reign Over Me (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) Original Score... I'd love that...
PSS: My Father and Late Grandfather was are Firemen, I would be one, but I haven't the body structure or the time to get bulky so i can go to the Academy. If I could, I would be one in a heartbeat... Ask me about it sometime... I'll tell ya...
PS*: Firetruck siren ringtones are awesome...
Ol' Blue Eyes Was a Punk... JUST LOOK AT HIS YOUNG FACE...
So its late, depending on which continent you're on and depending on what you think is late. Here as I type this, it is 5:12 eastern standard. Anyways, to the point. I've done quite a bit of thinking. On a daily basis, I am being hit on by girls. I have them telling me I am cute and what not. Which is fine. I'm not going to be a cocky son of a bitch and be like I'm gorgeous or nothin. But anyways. Since then, I've been doing some thinking. Since I am that good looking to some girls, and since I am comfortable with my scrawny, skinny whiteboyness... Why not take a photo set for Suicide Boys?
Yeah... I said it. I know some people would call me crazy right? I'm cool with the size of my frankfurter. I dunno... I'm not gonna jump into this without suggestions from the peanut gallery. I want honesty though. I personally think it would be fun. Let me know... (If I do take it, I will do it when I get home, later this week.) 
With that out of the way Don't forget to check the Site for the latest on the novel... and yeah... thats about it...
http://natertatertot.blogspot.com/
PS: I started my paper... though I can't say much more...
PSS: I haven't made an actual wishlist, however, you can bet I'd want these to be on thereAnts In My Pants...
So its late, depending on which continent you're on and depending on what you think is late. Here as I type this, it is 5:12 eastern standard. Anyways, to the point. I've done quite a bit of thinking. On a daily basis, I am being hit on by girls. I have them telling me I am cute and what not. Which is fine. I'm not going to be a cocky son of a bitch and be like I'm gorgeous or nothin. But anyways. Since then, I've been doing some thinking. Since I am that good looking to some girls, and since I am comfortable with my scrawny, skinny whiteboyness... Why not take a photo set for Suicide Boys?
Yeah... I said it. I know some people would call me crazy right? I'm cool with the size of my frankfurter. I dunno... I'm not gonna jump into this without suggestions from the peanut gallery. I want honesty though. I personally think it would be fun. Let me know... (If I do take it, I will do it when I get home, later this week.) With that out of the way Don't forget to check the Site for the latest on the novel... and yeah... thats about it...
http://natertatertot.blogspot.com/
PS: I started my paper... though I can't say much more...
PSS: I haven't made an actual wishlist, however, you can bet I'd want these to be on thereAnts In My Pants...
Ok so I've decided to shift all of my Novella postings to a new site...
http://natertatertot.blogspot.com/
Also, check out the previously posted chapters too i may have edited them
http://natertatertot.blogspot.com/
Also, check out the previously posted chapters too i may have edited them
I haven't slept a good sleep in days... I've been too focused on my social health an just plain interacting with new people that i have yet to sleep. I also have failed to do my research paper, failed to finish assignments on time, failed to study in depth the stuff i needed to study for midterms. Due to this... I've become slightly delusional, slightly emotional. I need sleep, but don't want to take it, in fear of sleeping too long, and now I've kept myself from getting the one thing i really need. I would sleep, but then again, i'd claim why do I need ti sleep. I can do that later. When in all realty... all I need is sleep... I need to sleep... i need to close my eyes and not wake up for a bit... I will do that, since i am falling asleep on here as it is... I guess time to lower the guns...
Since today is excellent... and i go home in 3 days...
DOUBLE CHAPTER FEATURE POST! (they're short...)
*** I would like snow a hell of a lot better if it didn't have to be so damned cold out *** (Chapter Nine)
We sat in silence for a few minutes as she finished up her salad. It was nice to sit without talking. Usually on first dates, silence is awkward, however here it wasn't. Wait, was this even a date or was it just two friends going to dinner together? I was confused about a lot of things lately, and this just added to it. But for now, until I get clarification, it will be a dinner date.
Our beautiful silence was broken by the sound of her phone. She finished up the last bite of salad and picked up her phone. The lack of urgency meant it was a text message; either that or she didn't want to talk to the person on the phone. She texted away as I finished the last bit of my cola. I thought back to a few minutes before. I had recommended ice cream; however, I didn't feel like sitting in the dinning hall anymore. I needed a change of scenery.
"Hey," I said in a soft spoken voice, she looked up as she finished typing her text, "I was thinking, let's get coffee instead of ice cream. I mean its like 20 degrees out and here I am suggesting ice cream. Let's get out of this place and get something warm."
Her eyes lit up. "Can I get a Caramel Macchiato instead of coffee?"
I gave her the most puzzled look in the world, what the hell is that? "Sure, if you'd like." I was confused as hell. What the hell is a caramel machismoto? She giggled at the puzzled look on my face. Maybe these crazy coffee shop drinks were the new chocolate for girls; who knows.
We gathered our things, took our trays up and left the dinning hall. The cold air hit us as we stepped outside the door. We started walking toward the coffee shop when her phone rang again; another text message. She answered it as we walked. The sound of her fingers clicking the buttons on the phone was the only sound between us that broke the silence. Her emotions changed as we walked. I could tell from her face that the person she was texting was upsetting her. We kept walking as the snow fell around us. Truly it was a gorgeous night. The sky was almost perfectly clear, as a few clouds lingered. The moon lit the dark path as we walked. I still was happy, despite the silence between us. I had made her happy at dinner. To me, it was a start. That was all that mattered.
We were about half a block from the coffee shop when she suddenly stopped. The phone slid from her hand, it smashed against the sidewalk as she stood motionless. I picked up the phone and wiped it off. The battery cover popped off and it was slightly scraped. Other than that, it was ok. I read the text on the main screen as I handed it back to her. It read the words that almost sealed my fate right then and there. 'I want to get back together with you. I'm sorry I was an idiot. Ben'
*** End of Chapter 9 ***
*** I love sad movies... But don't want my life to play out like one... *** (Chapter 10)
We both stood motionless. It was if in those brief seconds, our bodies froze as the world continued around us. The wind started to blow, a cloud passed slowly in front of the moon. I knew this was the end of my night. She was wrapped up in their past history, despite the fact he cheated on her. Deep down I braced my heart for the impact of what was to come.
My knees grew weak. I couldn't bear to stand anymore. It was as if all my hopes had been crushed by one huge mistake. I got too attached to a dream, to the possibility of something happening. She continued to stand there, motionless; frozen in time. I walked to a nearby bench, brushed off the snow and sat down. I felt my heart sink deeper and deeper into my throat. I had been crushed by a power bigger than me.
I reached for a cigarette; I desperately needed one and was going to savor every last puff. As I bent down to light the slender stick of comfort, I could see Kirsten walk over. She looked blank, neither happy nor sad.
"I thought you said you quit?" She said with a faint smile, she could tell I was upset. "Have one for a lady?"
It was my last cigarette. I wanted it; however, I knew she needed it more. I feigned a smile and handed her the freshly lit smoke. It was for the better, I did say I was trying to quit.
"Thank you." Her voice was sincere, yet soft spoken. I knew what she was going to say next. I couldn't help my emotions; I was painted like the Sistine chapel. "I'm sorry Nate. I didn't expect him to come back. I really like you a lot. I mean, you're sweet, funny, cute what the hell am I saying? I'm gonna sound like a fool here, but I think I'm falling for you. And we just started talking yesterday. I mean, yeah, I've liked you for a while, but I've never talked to you because I've been tied down. Then we broke up and I thought I'd give it a shot. And now I just don't know. I'm really confused " She laid her hand on mine as she took a puff of the cigarette. "I mean, Ben and I have history. And I like you, and I just need some time to sort things out, I'm sorry."
That was it. She squeezed my hand, kissed me on the cheek and vanished into the night.
*** End of Chapter Ten***
DOUBLE CHAPTER FEATURE POST! (they're short...)
*** I would like snow a hell of a lot better if it didn't have to be so damned cold out *** (Chapter Nine)
We sat in silence for a few minutes as she finished up her salad. It was nice to sit without talking. Usually on first dates, silence is awkward, however here it wasn't. Wait, was this even a date or was it just two friends going to dinner together? I was confused about a lot of things lately, and this just added to it. But for now, until I get clarification, it will be a dinner date.
Our beautiful silence was broken by the sound of her phone. She finished up the last bite of salad and picked up her phone. The lack of urgency meant it was a text message; either that or she didn't want to talk to the person on the phone. She texted away as I finished the last bit of my cola. I thought back to a few minutes before. I had recommended ice cream; however, I didn't feel like sitting in the dinning hall anymore. I needed a change of scenery.
"Hey," I said in a soft spoken voice, she looked up as she finished typing her text, "I was thinking, let's get coffee instead of ice cream. I mean its like 20 degrees out and here I am suggesting ice cream. Let's get out of this place and get something warm."
Her eyes lit up. "Can I get a Caramel Macchiato instead of coffee?"
I gave her the most puzzled look in the world, what the hell is that? "Sure, if you'd like." I was confused as hell. What the hell is a caramel machismoto? She giggled at the puzzled look on my face. Maybe these crazy coffee shop drinks were the new chocolate for girls; who knows.
We gathered our things, took our trays up and left the dinning hall. The cold air hit us as we stepped outside the door. We started walking toward the coffee shop when her phone rang again; another text message. She answered it as we walked. The sound of her fingers clicking the buttons on the phone was the only sound between us that broke the silence. Her emotions changed as we walked. I could tell from her face that the person she was texting was upsetting her. We kept walking as the snow fell around us. Truly it was a gorgeous night. The sky was almost perfectly clear, as a few clouds lingered. The moon lit the dark path as we walked. I still was happy, despite the silence between us. I had made her happy at dinner. To me, it was a start. That was all that mattered.
We were about half a block from the coffee shop when she suddenly stopped. The phone slid from her hand, it smashed against the sidewalk as she stood motionless. I picked up the phone and wiped it off. The battery cover popped off and it was slightly scraped. Other than that, it was ok. I read the text on the main screen as I handed it back to her. It read the words that almost sealed my fate right then and there. 'I want to get back together with you. I'm sorry I was an idiot. Ben'
*** End of Chapter 9 ***
*** I love sad movies... But don't want my life to play out like one... *** (Chapter 10)
We both stood motionless. It was if in those brief seconds, our bodies froze as the world continued around us. The wind started to blow, a cloud passed slowly in front of the moon. I knew this was the end of my night. She was wrapped up in their past history, despite the fact he cheated on her. Deep down I braced my heart for the impact of what was to come.
My knees grew weak. I couldn't bear to stand anymore. It was as if all my hopes had been crushed by one huge mistake. I got too attached to a dream, to the possibility of something happening. She continued to stand there, motionless; frozen in time. I walked to a nearby bench, brushed off the snow and sat down. I felt my heart sink deeper and deeper into my throat. I had been crushed by a power bigger than me.
I reached for a cigarette; I desperately needed one and was going to savor every last puff. As I bent down to light the slender stick of comfort, I could see Kirsten walk over. She looked blank, neither happy nor sad.
"I thought you said you quit?" She said with a faint smile, she could tell I was upset. "Have one for a lady?"
It was my last cigarette. I wanted it; however, I knew she needed it more. I feigned a smile and handed her the freshly lit smoke. It was for the better, I did say I was trying to quit.
"Thank you." Her voice was sincere, yet soft spoken. I knew what she was going to say next. I couldn't help my emotions; I was painted like the Sistine chapel. "I'm sorry Nate. I didn't expect him to come back. I really like you a lot. I mean, you're sweet, funny, cute what the hell am I saying? I'm gonna sound like a fool here, but I think I'm falling for you. And we just started talking yesterday. I mean, yeah, I've liked you for a while, but I've never talked to you because I've been tied down. Then we broke up and I thought I'd give it a shot. And now I just don't know. I'm really confused " She laid her hand on mine as she took a puff of the cigarette. "I mean, Ben and I have history. And I like you, and I just need some time to sort things out, I'm sorry."
That was it. She squeezed my hand, kissed me on the cheek and vanished into the night.
*** End of Chapter Ten***
Its Friday, I have a ton of school work to do this weekend so i won't talk long... Here's the new chapter...
*** First dates are always awkward; especially if you like the other person a whole hell of a lot. *** (Chapter Eight)
There we sat; her eating a salad, me pizza. I tried to mind my manners so I used a fork instead of my hands. I was amazed at how daintily she ate her food. It almost looked like she was putting up a show, like it was too real. For me, I from time to time ate pizza with a fork, so it wasn't too far of a stretch for me. She almost looked sad as she ate in silence. I wanted to try to make her happy by talking to her however; I was having a hard time figuring out what I was going to say. I started to get slightly frustrated with myself, why wasn't I talking? The longer time passed she seemed to look sadder and sadder. I had to say something; something, anything.
"How's your pizza?" She said, looking up from her salad. She beat me to the punch.
"Eh, it could be better. I prefer a less greasy pizza. How is your salad?"
"It's ok " Her voice almost sounded as if she was going to cry. This didn't sound like the same girl that I had talked to earlier in the day. I had to say something to cheer her up. I mean, she changed her clothes and got a tad bit dolled up, just to go to the crappy dining hall. But what do I say? I was never good at starting conversations. I had to take a shot.
"What's wrong? You seem sad, not like the girl I saw earlier." I took a shot, I went for the nice guy approach. I could see her almost looking sadder than before. Did I say the wrong thing? I had to rebound quickly, if not I could've blown every chance with her.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been forward like that. You just look a bit down and I was just trying to make conversation " What was I doing? Backpedaling? Who does that? Grow some tits man.
"No, it's ok. I just miss him. I mean, we had been dating for 3 years and he threw it all away for some slut he met at a party What am I saying, you don't want to hear this. I'm sor-- "
" No, it's ok, don't be sorry. It's understandable if you want to talk about him. You just broke up with him." I had to save her. With every word she seemed like she was getting more upset. "If you want to talk about him, I will listen. That is if you want to get stuff off your chest. If it will help you feel better." There I was, Classical Nate with his movie style romantic bullshit. It was almost like I stole the line from a masterpiece, it was slightly romantic and at the same time slightly sickening.
"No, it's ok. I will bore you with those sorrows some other time. So what'd you do with your day off today?" She seemed like she was saving me. She could see I didn't really want to hear about some jackass of a guy she dated. I mean, he had to be a jackass if he broke up with her.
"I listened to music and took a nap. I just had woken up like 15 minutes before I came to see you. What'd you do all day?"
"Nothing really, caught up on some sleep. Did a bit of homework, facebooking and stuff. Then I went to lunch with the girls. Amy spilled juice all over her new Fall Out Boy shirt, she was pissed. She has this crush on the drummer or something. I don't know But yeah, that was the extent of my day."
"Hey, you did more than I did. I mean, shesh, make me look like a slacker over here with my all day napping." She giggled. Slowly I could see her not being so sad. My plan to cheer her up was working. Maybe all I really needed to begin with was to be myself. " I feel unaccomplished now, I kinda want to go home and write a dissertation on how I didn't spend my day like Kirsten. Then maybe I could feel accomplished."
She giggled again. I could tell I was on the right path. Be yourself. Why didn't I see that in the first place? "You're funny ya know that?" she said, in between giggles. It was all I could do not to blush.
"Naw, that's just the horrible food talking. Next thing we know you will tell me that I am good looking or something. Then we may be in real trouble."
"You are pretty handsome, if I do say myself. I mean you're no Brad Pitt but you are still good looking..."
" uh, check please! You have had way too much of this food if you're saying stuff like that. How about we go get ice cream and leave this horrible food here?"
She gave me the biggest smile ever, 'Sure' she mouthed. She was having a good time. Hell I was having a good time. It wasn't too often I made a beautiful girl laugh. It was a great feeling knowing I could make someone happy.
*** End of Chapter 8***
*** First dates are always awkward; especially if you like the other person a whole hell of a lot. *** (Chapter Eight)
There we sat; her eating a salad, me pizza. I tried to mind my manners so I used a fork instead of my hands. I was amazed at how daintily she ate her food. It almost looked like she was putting up a show, like it was too real. For me, I from time to time ate pizza with a fork, so it wasn't too far of a stretch for me. She almost looked sad as she ate in silence. I wanted to try to make her happy by talking to her however; I was having a hard time figuring out what I was going to say. I started to get slightly frustrated with myself, why wasn't I talking? The longer time passed she seemed to look sadder and sadder. I had to say something; something, anything.
"How's your pizza?" She said, looking up from her salad. She beat me to the punch.
"Eh, it could be better. I prefer a less greasy pizza. How is your salad?"
"It's ok " Her voice almost sounded as if she was going to cry. This didn't sound like the same girl that I had talked to earlier in the day. I had to say something to cheer her up. I mean, she changed her clothes and got a tad bit dolled up, just to go to the crappy dining hall. But what do I say? I was never good at starting conversations. I had to take a shot.
"What's wrong? You seem sad, not like the girl I saw earlier." I took a shot, I went for the nice guy approach. I could see her almost looking sadder than before. Did I say the wrong thing? I had to rebound quickly, if not I could've blown every chance with her.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been forward like that. You just look a bit down and I was just trying to make conversation " What was I doing? Backpedaling? Who does that? Grow some tits man.
"No, it's ok. I just miss him. I mean, we had been dating for 3 years and he threw it all away for some slut he met at a party What am I saying, you don't want to hear this. I'm sor-- "
" No, it's ok, don't be sorry. It's understandable if you want to talk about him. You just broke up with him." I had to save her. With every word she seemed like she was getting more upset. "If you want to talk about him, I will listen. That is if you want to get stuff off your chest. If it will help you feel better." There I was, Classical Nate with his movie style romantic bullshit. It was almost like I stole the line from a masterpiece, it was slightly romantic and at the same time slightly sickening.
"No, it's ok. I will bore you with those sorrows some other time. So what'd you do with your day off today?" She seemed like she was saving me. She could see I didn't really want to hear about some jackass of a guy she dated. I mean, he had to be a jackass if he broke up with her.
"I listened to music and took a nap. I just had woken up like 15 minutes before I came to see you. What'd you do all day?"
"Nothing really, caught up on some sleep. Did a bit of homework, facebooking and stuff. Then I went to lunch with the girls. Amy spilled juice all over her new Fall Out Boy shirt, she was pissed. She has this crush on the drummer or something. I don't know But yeah, that was the extent of my day."
"Hey, you did more than I did. I mean, shesh, make me look like a slacker over here with my all day napping." She giggled. Slowly I could see her not being so sad. My plan to cheer her up was working. Maybe all I really needed to begin with was to be myself. " I feel unaccomplished now, I kinda want to go home and write a dissertation on how I didn't spend my day like Kirsten. Then maybe I could feel accomplished."
She giggled again. I could tell I was on the right path. Be yourself. Why didn't I see that in the first place? "You're funny ya know that?" she said, in between giggles. It was all I could do not to blush.
"Naw, that's just the horrible food talking. Next thing we know you will tell me that I am good looking or something. Then we may be in real trouble."
"You are pretty handsome, if I do say myself. I mean you're no Brad Pitt but you are still good looking..."
" uh, check please! You have had way too much of this food if you're saying stuff like that. How about we go get ice cream and leave this horrible food here?"
She gave me the biggest smile ever, 'Sure' she mouthed. She was having a good time. Hell I was having a good time. It wasn't too often I made a beautiful girl laugh. It was a great feeling knowing I could make someone happy.
*** End of Chapter 8***
Anymore lately, i go through ups and downs with creativity. I mean, i love PA, but there is only so much that you can do here to boost that. What i really want to do is travel cross country. I want to visit people in far off lands such as Illinois and California, and every state in between. I wouldn't even need a companion. I would just drive by myself. Me, a bunch of CDs and snacks roaming the country side. However, i know this would never happen because I haven't the money. What would be really cool, is if someone started a donation to get me out to the west coast. I would need like a few thousand yeah, but any money would help. I don't know... I just want to see things that arent here...
That's all... someone needs to rescue me from my plight here...
That's all... someone needs to rescue me from my plight here...
To further promote/get caught up on my chapters... here is another exciting chapter of my novella...
*** In life, the best people you can consult are the ones who will tell it as it is... I mean that's what best friends are for..." (Chapter Seven)
I didn't know what woke me up exactly. It seemed like a combination of things. The cold breeze that was coming from the window, the rapping at the door, or the silence from my speakers which had meant the jam session was over. I slowly got up and walked over to the door. It was dark, just as I had left it. The clock and computer screen were the only lights that helped the dimly lit room. I got to the door and opened it without even thinking. The bright light from the hallway almost knocked me backward as my eyes adjusted. All I could make out was a man standing at the door.
"You just wake up there Alfalfa?" He said as he pushed me aside. "Ready for me to beat you at Halo again? Why were you sleeping anyway, it is 3 in the afternoon on our day off. I thought you would've at least slept in."
It was Jim, my good friend from freshman year. Jim and had classes together ever since we started at University. And Jim had the uncanny habit of barging in on people and immediately going to what he wanted. With me, it was videogames. It didn't matter if I was watch TV, playing a game myself or just simply doing homework, Jim felt it his right and duty to man to absolutely change what you were doing.
"God why is it so dark in here, what were you doing wackin' off?"
Did I mention he also had the ability to speak his mind whenever he wanted?
"I fell asleep listening to music. I didn't sleep well last night and couldn't fall back asleep after I heard there was no class. And no, I wasn't masturbating either. If I was, would I have answered the door?" I loved the fact that Jim had the frankness of a cranky old war veteran. He was like the friend who you loved because he made fun of you all the time.
I turned on the light switch to the room and rubbed my eyes for a second time. Maybe a visitor was what I needed, someone to talk to about my situation with Kirsten. I knew if I told Jim he would lay it all out for me in the simplest of terms.
"I went on a walk with Kirsten last night." Jim spun around as quickly as he could in his chair. I could see it in his eyes, Jim was excited for me. Like a housewife hearing the latest gossip, he sat on the edge of his seat waiting to lap up every word I said. "We went on a snack run. She told me she broke up with her boyfriend."
He was waiting for something big. He knew how much I adored the beautiful woman she was. "So? What happened? Did you do any thing? Did you get to see her naked, a little rebound action?" He was giddy. He spoke with the utmost quickness, almost as if he took too much time talking he wouldn't hear what I had to say.
"Wow, don't you sound enthused." I picked up the tennis ball off my floor and began tossing it up and down as I spoke. "No we didn't do anything. I mean Jesus Christ; I just started hanging out with the girl last night. Plus you know how much I like her, why would I risk anything that would ruin my chances of a relationship."
"So you didn't do her, you just talked? God what kind of guy are you. Here's a girl, whom you've liked since the dinosaurs croaked, she's vulnerable from a break up with her boyfriend, and you choose not to take that rebound because you are worried about it ruining the chances of a relationship?" He was shocked. He truly knew how much I adored her, how beautiful I thought of her and yet I didn't make a move. Even I would've been shocked if I were an outsider.
"I want a relationship with her not just some one night stand that will ruin my chances of getting to be her guy permanently."
"So what? Dude, Nate. You've been wanting to get into her panties all year bro. I mean, you could at least show this girl a good time and then try to patch things up for the long term. Weren't you the one who said opportunities to bang the chicks we want most are like when you wake up from a sex dream and..."
"Fall asleep and able to continue the dream. But that isn't the point. I just started talking to her. It'd be like you or I going up to Jessica Alba and saying hi and trying to get into her panties. It isn't going to happen."
"If it only could though," Jim giggled as he slowly veered off target. "and besides you talked to her man. I've taken that walk to the store with you before 15 minutes there, 15 minutes back. That is some serious talking. You had to have made a connection at some point."
"Ok, ok, I confess. I did make a connection with her. She thanked me again this morning when I was on my way to the shower. We even flirted a little."
"Is that where you got that red mark across your cheek?" He said sarcastically as he pointed to the redness that was apparent on my face from sleeping on my arm during my nap. Having talked about the subject before, Jim knew I never flirted with girls. He always said that the first time I would try, a girl would slap me.
"No, Asshole. She did slap me but not that hard, it was playful. She actually flirted back, if you can believe it." He motioned his hand in a circle. I could tell he wanted to elaborate. He was in the gossip hearing zone and didn't want to miss out. "She asked me what I was doing later, and I said the first thing that came to mind. "You." She giggled but slapped me in the process. Or was it slap then giggle. I don't remember. Her response is what is confusing me though. She slapped me but then said "Don't count your chickens buster, you have to get me into bed first." What does that mean?! Does she dig me? Was it flirting? I'm clueless right now." Jim immediately started laughing.
"She said that and she slapped you? Dude don't you see it. She wants your cock. No lie. She essentially said where and when. She slapped you and giggled. Girls do that in elementary school. That was how they flirted back then. And then she came back with something witty. Dude it's a lock. You'd better go buy a pack of Trojans because papa's getting some soon."
Was Jim right? Was she flirting with me like he said? I couldn't tell and I needed to know an answer. I mean it is Kirsten, the most gorgeous girl ah you get it by now.
"So did you talk to her since then?"
"No you idiot, I've been in here sleeping, I told you that." Jim's memory and retention skills were slowly fading at the ripe old age of 21. "Besides, I don't know what to say to her. I mean I feel as if I'm coming on too strong with all of the sex metaphors and innuendos."
"No, no. Chicks dig that shit man, they love when you talk about the sausage. They know when you do, that you're not afraid to use what you've got. Either that or you are just one horny dude. But I mean come on, it sounded like she was lovin' what you said."
"But do I really go for it man? I mean come on, in the years we've known each other have I been known to smooth talk a girl into bed?" I couldn't help but think Jim was right. Maybe she did want to sleep with me. Maybe I was supposed to be her rebound; but was that what I wanted.
"Never, have you talked your way into a girls panties. You've always been my wingman, which I thank you for by the way. But come on. Here is a girl who you are crazy for and she is flirting with you of all people. Go for it dude. I mean you need to talk to her tonight. Hell, you didn't go to dinner yet. Go see if she's here and ask her to go to dinner."
Maybe Jim was right. Maybe she did like me. I took Jim's advice immediately. Without another word, I walked out of my room and down the hall. I started to get nervous with every passing step. What do I say? I inched closer to her room when all of a sudden she walked out into the hall way.
"Hey there." She said. Her voice was comforting, now I didn't have to make the first move. "I came by your room earlier but your door was shut. I'd figured you had gone out."
"No, I was sleeping." She was beautiful. And she wasn't wearing anything to astounding, jeans and a tee shirt. It was just the way she carried herself. She was full of self confidence and it showed.
"Oh. So I was wondering, what are you doing tonight? I asked you earlier and all you could give me was a sarcastic retort " Was she serious? I thought she was joking earlier when she asked me. "I mean, I guess what I am trying to get at is, would you like to come to dinner with me? A bunch of my friends have some sorority thing and I don't have anyone to go with." Her voice had a nervous tone in it. It shocked me. Here was a girl who was the best looking girl I had seen in a while, nervous when asking me a question. I was awestruck.
"Believe it or not, I came to ask you the same question. Of course I will go with you." I still couldn't believe it.
"Great, let me go get ready. I'll stop down at your room and we can go." She hugged me and turned to go back to her room.
I stood in the hallway with a dumbfounded ego. She wanted to go to dinner with me. Out of all of the guys in the world, she asked me to go to dinner. Not only that, but she hugged me again. What could this all have meant? To not look like an idiot, I quickly turned and raced back to my room. Jim spun to look at me as I closed the door. Before he could even ask I quickly spat out what he had been dying to hear.
"Kirsten and I are going to dinner. The best part, she asked me."
Jim didn't say a word. He smiled the biggest smile he could, turned the game off and walked out of the room, patting me on the shoulder as he walked by. Jim knew I had to get ready; I was going to dinner with Kirsten. The blonde haired, green eyed girl of my dreams.
*** End of Chapter 7 ***
*** In life, the best people you can consult are the ones who will tell it as it is... I mean that's what best friends are for..." (Chapter Seven)
I didn't know what woke me up exactly. It seemed like a combination of things. The cold breeze that was coming from the window, the rapping at the door, or the silence from my speakers which had meant the jam session was over. I slowly got up and walked over to the door. It was dark, just as I had left it. The clock and computer screen were the only lights that helped the dimly lit room. I got to the door and opened it without even thinking. The bright light from the hallway almost knocked me backward as my eyes adjusted. All I could make out was a man standing at the door.
"You just wake up there Alfalfa?" He said as he pushed me aside. "Ready for me to beat you at Halo again? Why were you sleeping anyway, it is 3 in the afternoon on our day off. I thought you would've at least slept in."
It was Jim, my good friend from freshman year. Jim and had classes together ever since we started at University. And Jim had the uncanny habit of barging in on people and immediately going to what he wanted. With me, it was videogames. It didn't matter if I was watch TV, playing a game myself or just simply doing homework, Jim felt it his right and duty to man to absolutely change what you were doing.
"God why is it so dark in here, what were you doing wackin' off?"
Did I mention he also had the ability to speak his mind whenever he wanted?
"I fell asleep listening to music. I didn't sleep well last night and couldn't fall back asleep after I heard there was no class. And no, I wasn't masturbating either. If I was, would I have answered the door?" I loved the fact that Jim had the frankness of a cranky old war veteran. He was like the friend who you loved because he made fun of you all the time.
I turned on the light switch to the room and rubbed my eyes for a second time. Maybe a visitor was what I needed, someone to talk to about my situation with Kirsten. I knew if I told Jim he would lay it all out for me in the simplest of terms.
"I went on a walk with Kirsten last night." Jim spun around as quickly as he could in his chair. I could see it in his eyes, Jim was excited for me. Like a housewife hearing the latest gossip, he sat on the edge of his seat waiting to lap up every word I said. "We went on a snack run. She told me she broke up with her boyfriend."
He was waiting for something big. He knew how much I adored the beautiful woman she was. "So? What happened? Did you do any thing? Did you get to see her naked, a little rebound action?" He was giddy. He spoke with the utmost quickness, almost as if he took too much time talking he wouldn't hear what I had to say.
"Wow, don't you sound enthused." I picked up the tennis ball off my floor and began tossing it up and down as I spoke. "No we didn't do anything. I mean Jesus Christ; I just started hanging out with the girl last night. Plus you know how much I like her, why would I risk anything that would ruin my chances of a relationship."
"So you didn't do her, you just talked? God what kind of guy are you. Here's a girl, whom you've liked since the dinosaurs croaked, she's vulnerable from a break up with her boyfriend, and you choose not to take that rebound because you are worried about it ruining the chances of a relationship?" He was shocked. He truly knew how much I adored her, how beautiful I thought of her and yet I didn't make a move. Even I would've been shocked if I were an outsider.
"I want a relationship with her not just some one night stand that will ruin my chances of getting to be her guy permanently."
"So what? Dude, Nate. You've been wanting to get into her panties all year bro. I mean, you could at least show this girl a good time and then try to patch things up for the long term. Weren't you the one who said opportunities to bang the chicks we want most are like when you wake up from a sex dream and..."
"Fall asleep and able to continue the dream. But that isn't the point. I just started talking to her. It'd be like you or I going up to Jessica Alba and saying hi and trying to get into her panties. It isn't going to happen."
"If it only could though," Jim giggled as he slowly veered off target. "and besides you talked to her man. I've taken that walk to the store with you before 15 minutes there, 15 minutes back. That is some serious talking. You had to have made a connection at some point."
"Ok, ok, I confess. I did make a connection with her. She thanked me again this morning when I was on my way to the shower. We even flirted a little."
"Is that where you got that red mark across your cheek?" He said sarcastically as he pointed to the redness that was apparent on my face from sleeping on my arm during my nap. Having talked about the subject before, Jim knew I never flirted with girls. He always said that the first time I would try, a girl would slap me.
"No, Asshole. She did slap me but not that hard, it was playful. She actually flirted back, if you can believe it." He motioned his hand in a circle. I could tell he wanted to elaborate. He was in the gossip hearing zone and didn't want to miss out. "She asked me what I was doing later, and I said the first thing that came to mind. "You." She giggled but slapped me in the process. Or was it slap then giggle. I don't remember. Her response is what is confusing me though. She slapped me but then said "Don't count your chickens buster, you have to get me into bed first." What does that mean?! Does she dig me? Was it flirting? I'm clueless right now." Jim immediately started laughing.
"She said that and she slapped you? Dude don't you see it. She wants your cock. No lie. She essentially said where and when. She slapped you and giggled. Girls do that in elementary school. That was how they flirted back then. And then she came back with something witty. Dude it's a lock. You'd better go buy a pack of Trojans because papa's getting some soon."
Was Jim right? Was she flirting with me like he said? I couldn't tell and I needed to know an answer. I mean it is Kirsten, the most gorgeous girl ah you get it by now.
"So did you talk to her since then?"
"No you idiot, I've been in here sleeping, I told you that." Jim's memory and retention skills were slowly fading at the ripe old age of 21. "Besides, I don't know what to say to her. I mean I feel as if I'm coming on too strong with all of the sex metaphors and innuendos."
"No, no. Chicks dig that shit man, they love when you talk about the sausage. They know when you do, that you're not afraid to use what you've got. Either that or you are just one horny dude. But I mean come on, it sounded like she was lovin' what you said."
"But do I really go for it man? I mean come on, in the years we've known each other have I been known to smooth talk a girl into bed?" I couldn't help but think Jim was right. Maybe she did want to sleep with me. Maybe I was supposed to be her rebound; but was that what I wanted.
"Never, have you talked your way into a girls panties. You've always been my wingman, which I thank you for by the way. But come on. Here is a girl who you are crazy for and she is flirting with you of all people. Go for it dude. I mean you need to talk to her tonight. Hell, you didn't go to dinner yet. Go see if she's here and ask her to go to dinner."
Maybe Jim was right. Maybe she did like me. I took Jim's advice immediately. Without another word, I walked out of my room and down the hall. I started to get nervous with every passing step. What do I say? I inched closer to her room when all of a sudden she walked out into the hall way.
"Hey there." She said. Her voice was comforting, now I didn't have to make the first move. "I came by your room earlier but your door was shut. I'd figured you had gone out."
"No, I was sleeping." She was beautiful. And she wasn't wearing anything to astounding, jeans and a tee shirt. It was just the way she carried herself. She was full of self confidence and it showed.
"Oh. So I was wondering, what are you doing tonight? I asked you earlier and all you could give me was a sarcastic retort " Was she serious? I thought she was joking earlier when she asked me. "I mean, I guess what I am trying to get at is, would you like to come to dinner with me? A bunch of my friends have some sorority thing and I don't have anyone to go with." Her voice had a nervous tone in it. It shocked me. Here was a girl who was the best looking girl I had seen in a while, nervous when asking me a question. I was awestruck.
"Believe it or not, I came to ask you the same question. Of course I will go with you." I still couldn't believe it.
"Great, let me go get ready. I'll stop down at your room and we can go." She hugged me and turned to go back to her room.
I stood in the hallway with a dumbfounded ego. She wanted to go to dinner with me. Out of all of the guys in the world, she asked me to go to dinner. Not only that, but she hugged me again. What could this all have meant? To not look like an idiot, I quickly turned and raced back to my room. Jim spun to look at me as I closed the door. Before he could even ask I quickly spat out what he had been dying to hear.
"Kirsten and I are going to dinner. The best part, she asked me."
Jim didn't say a word. He smiled the biggest smile he could, turned the game off and walked out of the room, patting me on the shoulder as he walked by. Jim knew I had to get ready; I was going to dinner with Kirsten. The blonde haired, green eyed girl of my dreams.
*** End of Chapter 7 ***
So, I've been listening to Coheed and Cambria's album "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume Two: No World for Tomorrow' and I've got to say... i love it...
Anyways, enough about me... back to the novella
***The shower has always been a place of meditation for me. It is one of the very few places I can focus on my thoughts. You are secluded from the outside world by 3 walls and a curtain or something similar. Soothing water caresses your skin. It truly is bliss.*** (Chapter Six)
I got in the shower and turned on the water. I jumped back as the cool water grazed my skin. That was one of the downfalls of showering in a dormitory shower stall. I inched my way back under the water as it progressively got warm. I love showers.
I couldn't stop thinking of Kirsten. The situation was so screwed up. She flirted with me endlessly and to top it off she had just gotten out of a relationship. What did this mean? Was she looking for me as a rebound? Or did she like me before she broke up with her boyfriend? Everything was so confusing. What do I do? What do I do?! Slowly the feeling of serenity that I had felt so many times before had been crushed by the frustrating problem at hand. What does this all mean? Should I pursue anything with her? If I don't act now does this mean I get placed in the "friend zone"? I absolutely hate that place. You end up being a great person for girls to cry on but when it comes down to it, you will never be able to shake that title. You just have to sit back and watch as your friend dates other guys and fools around with other guys, knowing fully that if she would have dated you in the first place, she wouldn't have this problem.
I quickly finished up washing and ended my shower. It was all I could do to stop the madness of my thoughts. The girl of my dreams slowly was driving me to insanity. I walked back to my room and got changed. This problem was bigger than I. I needed sometime to think, because every move I made was one step closer to either happiness or the friend zone.
*** *** ***
I spent the rest of the day secluded from the rest of the world. I tried to figure out the whole Kirsten situation. However, that wasn't the only problem on my mind. Lately, my relationship with my divorcee father had been strained. He felt I hadn't been keeping in touch as much as he'd like. I tried to call as much as I could, but my schedule was more hectic than I asked; or was it? That was my big problem. I was never really busy, more or less bored. However, when I tried a reason not to call, it would always be the same. I was too busy. I think it all boiled down to just the opposite. I was never busy, and for that reason I didn't have anything to talk about. I mean, yeah sure I called my mother almost every weekday but that was mostly to check in on what was happening with home and my little brother. At my Dad's house, I knew everything was the same. Nothing really changed.
After a good hour of thinking, staring blankly at my computer screen as I browsed the internet, I decided that I needed a good jam session. I got on my computer and brought up my music program. I searched for my two favorite jam session albums, The Who's "Quadrophenia" and "Presence" by Led Zeppelin. See to me, "Quadrophenia" was the quintessential rock opera. It was truly a magnificent work of art. Not only that, but it was produced so well, the transitions between tracks is flawless. If you aren't looking at the track numbers flip over, you will never truly know when the track changes. It is beautiful. As for "Presence", the opening track "Achilles Last Stand" was amazing. Mashed with tracks "Nobody's Fault But Mine" and "Royal Orleans" it made for one of my favorites. It was just what I needed, some jam therapy. I turned off the lights and closed the blinds. I turned up the music, and put on the first record. Now obviously, it wasn't a record because it was on my computer, however, you get the point.
By the light of my computer screen I lay on my bed jamming to the rock gods of old. I just laid there and listened. No thoughts, just a serious jam session. It was something needed. The slow rhythm of "Quadrophenia" started to put me to sleep. My eyes fluttered, I could feel myself truly relaxing. I struggled as hard as I may, but I couldn't help it. It was right around "Cut My Hair", the fourth track on the first CD, that I actually did fall asleep. So much for my jam session, I was down for the count.
*** End of Chapter 6 ***
Anyways, enough about me... back to the novella
***The shower has always been a place of meditation for me. It is one of the very few places I can focus on my thoughts. You are secluded from the outside world by 3 walls and a curtain or something similar. Soothing water caresses your skin. It truly is bliss.*** (Chapter Six)
I got in the shower and turned on the water. I jumped back as the cool water grazed my skin. That was one of the downfalls of showering in a dormitory shower stall. I inched my way back under the water as it progressively got warm. I love showers.
I couldn't stop thinking of Kirsten. The situation was so screwed up. She flirted with me endlessly and to top it off she had just gotten out of a relationship. What did this mean? Was she looking for me as a rebound? Or did she like me before she broke up with her boyfriend? Everything was so confusing. What do I do? What do I do?! Slowly the feeling of serenity that I had felt so many times before had been crushed by the frustrating problem at hand. What does this all mean? Should I pursue anything with her? If I don't act now does this mean I get placed in the "friend zone"? I absolutely hate that place. You end up being a great person for girls to cry on but when it comes down to it, you will never be able to shake that title. You just have to sit back and watch as your friend dates other guys and fools around with other guys, knowing fully that if she would have dated you in the first place, she wouldn't have this problem.
I quickly finished up washing and ended my shower. It was all I could do to stop the madness of my thoughts. The girl of my dreams slowly was driving me to insanity. I walked back to my room and got changed. This problem was bigger than I. I needed sometime to think, because every move I made was one step closer to either happiness or the friend zone.
*** *** ***
I spent the rest of the day secluded from the rest of the world. I tried to figure out the whole Kirsten situation. However, that wasn't the only problem on my mind. Lately, my relationship with my divorcee father had been strained. He felt I hadn't been keeping in touch as much as he'd like. I tried to call as much as I could, but my schedule was more hectic than I asked; or was it? That was my big problem. I was never really busy, more or less bored. However, when I tried a reason not to call, it would always be the same. I was too busy. I think it all boiled down to just the opposite. I was never busy, and for that reason I didn't have anything to talk about. I mean, yeah sure I called my mother almost every weekday but that was mostly to check in on what was happening with home and my little brother. At my Dad's house, I knew everything was the same. Nothing really changed.
After a good hour of thinking, staring blankly at my computer screen as I browsed the internet, I decided that I needed a good jam session. I got on my computer and brought up my music program. I searched for my two favorite jam session albums, The Who's "Quadrophenia" and "Presence" by Led Zeppelin. See to me, "Quadrophenia" was the quintessential rock opera. It was truly a magnificent work of art. Not only that, but it was produced so well, the transitions between tracks is flawless. If you aren't looking at the track numbers flip over, you will never truly know when the track changes. It is beautiful. As for "Presence", the opening track "Achilles Last Stand" was amazing. Mashed with tracks "Nobody's Fault But Mine" and "Royal Orleans" it made for one of my favorites. It was just what I needed, some jam therapy. I turned off the lights and closed the blinds. I turned up the music, and put on the first record. Now obviously, it wasn't a record because it was on my computer, however, you get the point.
By the light of my computer screen I lay on my bed jamming to the rock gods of old. I just laid there and listened. No thoughts, just a serious jam session. It was something needed. The slow rhythm of "Quadrophenia" started to put me to sleep. My eyes fluttered, I could feel myself truly relaxing. I struggled as hard as I may, but I couldn't help it. It was right around "Cut My Hair", the fourth track on the first CD, that I actually did fall asleep. So much for my jam session, I was down for the count.
*** End of Chapter 6 ***
