"Tongue and Cheek 4"

What I do on weekends:

I like to give exercise tutorials to the morbidly obese at the gym.

I set up my room with all of the amenities: Exercise balls, free weights, benches, treadmills, etc.

Once I see all of their faces settled in, I announce to the room:

"Hello all you morbidly obese fat suns-a-bitches."

They turn their heads. Slowly.

And then catch their breath.

I hold up a fork.

I drop the fork.

"Y- you guys get it?"

There is a cold silence.

I have no fear of being chased by them.