whats up peoples , hows it hanging ? ( please don't answer that... )
well lets see if this pisses anyone else off besides me .........
this past weekend was my sisters birthday and she wanted to celebrate at a club downtown chicago called
the green dolphin ..... i never been there but i had heard of it and knew they had a strict dress code and all that other annoying shit that makes goin to a club such a pain in the ass anyways to make a long story short
my sis had made reservations for us and a bunch of friends and lo and behold i get to the front of the line at the club and the promoter refuses me at the door sayin that i had too many tattoos and he doesn't want that kind of people in the club ! wtf is up with that ? i was wearing dress pants , dress shoes , and a nice button down shirt .......... i was dressed to impress so i would get let into the club and they wouldn' let me in anyway ! i know a club has the right to refuse anyone at the door but no tattoos allowed ? come on man , i know discrimination when i see it
on the better side of things i finally got my sleeve finished today !! i'll post some pics soon .........
haha while my friends are out clubbin i sit home and play on the computer cuz i can't get in the door anyways ......... how pathetic am i ? it's stormy outside so i'm gonna roll me one and try not to burn the house down p.s. Roach is gettin bigger i'll put some pics up as soon as her 8 legged ass comes out of her burrow and stops bein camera shy

so friday was my birthday , the big 24 ....... ( damn i'm almost a quarter of a century old ! )
all in all it was definately a good day i went to work but i left a lunch time cause hey , who really wants to work on their birthday right ? my new foreman was cool with it ( got switched to a different crew last week so i got a different boss now , a 500 pound guy who calls himself " tank " ) lol this one guy showed up 2 hours late with enough mexican food to feed a small army ( or a 500 pound guy named tank ) ........ he showed up at breaktime , laid out all the food , made everyone a plate , and then said he was goin home cuz he was up all night doing blow and drinkin tequilla lol , shit was funny as hell and sure enough he went back home ! and the food was awesome , we had goat meat tacos ( sounds crazy but their really good ) , homemade guacamole , rice , beans , everything ! anywways back to the birthday deal , i came home from work and my mom had put some balloons in my room , lol and one of the balloons had a little skeleton on it holding a cake i thought it was pretty funny .......my little 3 year old niece sang happy birthday to me even tho she can't say birthday even my baby tarantula wished me happy bday by finally molting ( shedding it's skin to grow bigger ) for the first time ...... she used to be so tiny she looked like a regular house spider but she doubled in size and looks like a tiny tarantula a little bigger than a nickel ........ her name is roach , she's a costa rican zebra spider i'll put up some pics when i get a chance ......... later on me and some friends went out , they took me to the sears tower , which i thought was pretty cool ....... hell , i could see the my the refinery i work at from the top !! the view is awesome but the elevator up was nerve wracking and packed with people lol after that we went out to eat at ed debevick's , if you never heard of it the waiters and staff talk shit to you and act all retarded lol it's a pretty crazy place to go if your not easily offended haha........ the waitress' all got up on the bar and danced to some old ass song and bought out a ice cream sunday in a shot glass , it was funny as hell ...........after we stuffed our faces we went to the 2nd city , it's a comedy club on wells street ...... the do improv aan put on skits it's always a good time over there and the performers are great , alot of famous people started out there( i'm pretty sure jim belushi stated there ) we laughed our asses off , got drunk as hell , and drove home ( shame on us ) and happy birthday to me ............

damn it's been a long ass time since i posted but i been away from the computer for awhile so
i'm gonna use that as an excuse annd if you don't like it TOO BAD , haha........well first off i made a lil
upgrade and bought myself a new computer bein that the one i was usin before was the family computer
and slow as hell ( plus my nieces and nephew are always on it and they kept erasing my shit ) .......
it's a pretty bad ass computer so far , it got a touchscreen , a webcam ( which i have no idea how to use anyway haha ) and all sorts of cool shit that i havn't figured out yet .......although i did figure out how to put a pic of visha suicide as my desktop sweeeeettt lol .......... i got fucked last week when some crackhead bastards threw a 40 oz bottle thru my car window and stole my fuckin stereo which i only had for 3 months right out of my fuckin driveway at home !! my sister heard my car alarm goin off at 3am and
didn 't even think to look out the window or wake me up , WTF she was thinkin i don't know ...... oh well
what goess around comes around , what really pissed me off was that the next night they broke my fuckin window again , broke off my antena , popped my hood , and put my dipstick in the antena slot ! ....... geeez who did i piss off ? lol i don't have many enemies anymore or so i thought ?? atleast they didn't take anything else i guess although it would have been great if they would've stole the whole truck so i can get some insurance money and get a more affordable car .........so that cost me about 300 bucks for both the windows and to fix the electrical wiring they fucked up when they ripped my radio out , plus i had to miss 2 days of work which cost me about 400 bucks ...... i guess that tattoo party i wanted to have for my birthday next month won't be happening after all thanks to alll that drama ......... to keep the bad news rolling i also broke one of my back teeth on my tongue rings when i was eating lunch at work haha guess i better chew slower from now on ..........i'm still trying to stick to my new year's resolution which was to concentrate on puttin myslef in the position to be able to start looking at some houses so i can finally have a place of my own , but i know this is gonna take some time . i gotta get my credit straight , try to pay my truck off asap , save an ass load of money , ect . it's all good though cuz i know that if i keep workin hard for it i WILL reach this goal eventually and it's gonna feel damn good when i got my own place !! haha maybe then i can actaully start meeting some girls maybe have a lil privacy ya know ? cause there is no such thing as privacy where i'm at right now thats for sure although i can't blame my shitty dating life on still living at home haha ....... i guess i'm just to shy to try and break the ice with a girl i'm interested in , it's my curse , shyness ....... it sucks and i wish i had more balls in that department but thats just me i guess ...... well i'm quiting smoking pot today due to the fact that their bringing some random drug test bullsshit at work ...... that sucks .... i think peoples personal lives should be left up to them as long as they keep it seperate from work ya know ? but i know that i'm one of the very few people who will quit just to keep a job at the refinery ( most will just go work in another steel mill or do road work ) but i tryin to be responsible and i know i'm makin a real smart move by quiting so thats that .... haha i know i'm just gonna drink more now that i can't smoke but one thing at a time ! ...... one of the guys i went to highschool with got killed in one of the steel mills last week ....... 23 years old , just got engaged , just closed on a house , and now he's gone ...... not only does that make me appreciate what i have but it made me respect my surroundings at work more because as much as i like my job i can never forget that it is dangerous and not everyone gets the privilage to go home safe from work everyday ........ thats all i got for now .........happy new year everyone ........

please o please let the bears beat the packers today ......... thats all i want for christmas
( that and somebody to spend it with but i could settle for either or ) ...........

i just wanted to state that i can't wait to buy a house ( don't want an apartment ) and move out on my own !!
it might be another year but soon as this truck is paid off i'm outta here !!

well well here i am back from my vacation and let me tell you it was the shit !!! we all had alot of fun and we'll definately have to plan for another one ( when we all recover from the huge dent in our bank accounts ) what does suck it that one of my friends couldn't go ( stupid probation ) but he sent his little brother in his place ... i didn't have a problem with that cause me and his brother are friends too i just wish his probation officer would have let him go but there's always next time , plus that will teach his ass to get 2 DUI's a few months before our trip !!! our little group for this trip consists of myself , my friends lil bro Corn (nickname), one of my best friends Sara , and her cuisin Jennifer .........anyway it was about a 20 hour drive to miami so we took my truck and drove in shifts nonstop all the way there ....... i drove first and as soon i we got to tennessee i got a $100 speeding ticket so that sucked but later on in the trip i won exactly $100 in the casino so it kinda worked it self out .........i drove thru the mountains in georgia and would have loved to see them but i was late at night so i had to use my imagination haha ( and lo and behold when we drive back we hit the mountains at night again better luck for me next time i guess ) by the way drivin the city streets of downtown atlanta reminded me of lake shore drive here in chicago , it was kind cool .........it pretty much stayed cold until we hit florida then it warmed up quick and let me tell you the sun is BRIGHT AS HELL out there !!! i loved the scenery it felt like i was in a grand theft auto video game with all the palm trees everywhere .........finally we got to our hotel and on the outside it was fuckin awesome but the actual room we stayed in was ghetto as hell and only had one bed !! lol it was already almost midnite by the time we got showered up ( 20 hour car ride will make you stink for some reason lol ) so we went out to eat real quick and started the vacation off right with some drinks .........and some more drinks ...........and some more drinks ............ and next thing we are on the strip on the beach takin crazy pics and then we chilled by the ocean for a bit , it was definatly a good time ........ at the end we were all exhausted from the drive and none of us could really walk straight anyway so we headed back to the room .......... and then we remembered we only had one small ass bed and 4 bodies so we had to slide the mattress off of the box spring and after that if you weren't in the bathroom you were standin on either of the " beds " .......... me and corn being the gentlemen that we are gave the girls the mattress while we took the hard ass box spring ( by gentlemen i mean that we lost a coin toss but i would have gave it up even if we had won lol ) .......when we woke up the next morning we swam in the ocean for a bit then checked out some of the shops that were closed the night before and after that we set off to find our cruise ship and by the time we found it i had to take a leak so bad i went in the parkin lot ( too much info ? tell someone who cares lol ) now up to that point i had never been on a boat let alone a cruise ship and this ship was so damn big i was suprised it could float at all ! we checked our bags hopped aboard and found or rooms ( got two seperate rooms and enuff beds for everyone this time haha ) then we set off to explore the ship and get wasted .......... the ship had a dance clubs , a casino , tons of bars , showrooms , shops , tons of shit to do !!!! plus they gave you a list of shows and things that were goin on so you knew what was happenin on the other floors ......... the very first day i saw this incredible looking girl all by herself with a bunch of piercings in her lip and purple and black hair ( definatley my type !! ) and i REALLY wanted to talk to her but i lost her in the crowd and didn't see her again until the end of the trip and let me tell you that was definatle the WORST timing but i get to that later ........ some of the hightlights of our adventures on the cruise included ........


; me leading a team of old men to victory in a game of battle of the sexes ( kinda like family feud men vs. ladies ) the game host said that for the last 19 games straight the girls team has always beat the guys and we were gettin our asses handed to us early on but made an incredible comeback at the end or so i thought ...... sara got picked by the game show host to keep score for both teams and litlle did i know but towards the end when the guys were makin a comeback she started fixing the score in our favor and when she told me after we had won and i was voted male mvp i laughed so hard i almost fell down a flight of stairs....

; me gettin forced on stage by waitress on the ship and a table of middle aged women to compete in the men's hairy chest competition ..... ( yes , thats right , they had a hairy chest competition ) lemme tell you i was totally wasted and totally unprepared for what was about to go down on this stage so here goes ........ there was a group of hairy guys and a group of female judges one of whom was , thats right you guessed it , my friend sara ( she always got my back ) anyway one at a time each guy had to dance down the runway get up on stage, and dance with the judges who were instructed to rub our hairy chest and/or hairy back ( i don't even have alot of chest hair so why i was forced to enter this contest is beyond me ) and after we were groped by the judges we had to get on the microphone and give our best tarzan yell ..... all of this was on the main deck and in front of atleast 250 people and i'm a pretty shy guy when it comes to dancin so when the host tells us this i'm nervous as hell ....... and the host ofcourse picks me to go first !! so here i am drunk infront of all these people waitin for me to entertain them ........and entertain them i did !! the music came on and i didn't know what the hell to do so i did what any drunk guy would have did which was notice a lady who was sittin readin a book not payin attention grab her and start shakin my ass all over the place !! bad idea ? i think not ! for some reason the crowd loved that and then my drunk ass decides to do a backflip and holy shit i landed it ! the crowd went nuts !! then i made way up to the judges and just kept breakin it down ( all while getting my not so hairy chest rubbed on by sara and the other judges ) and one of the girls wraps her leg around me and then we really got down and bfore ya know it my turn was up and i couldn't belive that i didn't make a complete fool of myself !!!! oh wait...... i forgot about the tarzan yell ....... well that part didn't go as good cause my best effort sounded like a howling wolf gettin hit by a truck but who gives a fuck ? lol in the end i got beat by a guy from new york but i was famous on the ship from then on and kept hearing from diff people how i should've won but fuck it i had fun ! i guess i really am too sexy for my shirt ?....lmao


; the formal dinner was another highlight , we got to get all dressed up and eat a 3 course gourmet meal in a formal dining room and lemme tell you when we sat down we each had like 5 forks and 8 spoons and some of them were shaped a little different and i was honestly confused as hell on which ones we were supposed to use but then they bought out the first plate and then i was just confused about what the hell i was eatiing but i ate it anyway ( duck , squid , octupus, .... all very good tasting stuff apparently ) i was kinda buzzed up to begin with and when the waitress came to me so i could pay for my drinks i decided to try and pay her with my room keycard instead of my credit card ( i really thought i was holdin out my credit card ! needless to say she declined the offer that i had no idea i was giving anyway lol she must have not saw my performance earlier that day haha ) i laughed it off, fed sara some grapes ( don't remember whose idea that was ) and carried on ....... and if you looked at the pictures yes by the end of the night i was wearing a bandana with my suit ......

: when we got to the bahamas we all wanted to score some weed ( yep we're all smokers shame on us )
so we went walkin around takin pictures and visitin shops when this shop owner and me start talkin back and forth just bullshiting and he tells me to ask a cab driver to take us to get hooked up so thats what we did and to my suprise the first driver i asked ( the group put me in charge of this paticular situation ) said with no hesistation that he knew just the place ( the place happened to be in the ghettos of the bahamas ) the drive there was INTENSE ..... i guess in the bahamas stop signs don't exsist and there is no center line or traffic signals so you literally weave in and out of traffic until you either crash or get to where your going ...... after a very dangerous cab ride ( cab driver was cool as hell tho ) we got our score and it didn't look like anything special until we smoked it ........ i couldn't even spell stoned after that shit ! .... we got dropped of at the beach where they serve drinks inside a coconut which i would eat after i drank what was in it ( did you get all that ? ) and ricardo ( driver's name) pointed out that if we didn't see him we should catch a ride back with his friend who he introduced as "fat mutha fucka " ...... so needless to say ricardo was nowhere to be found later on but fat mutha fucka got us back just fine .......

; yet another highlight was my very first full body massage .........so sara wants to get a massage
but she doesn't want to go alone ........her cousin doesn't want to go and neither does corn so i am voluntered against my will yet once again ( i'm all for gettin rubbed on by pretty girls but not for $125 !!!! plus i was rapidly runnin out of time lookin for the pierced cutie i saw the first day ) anyway she called the spa and set us up for a COUPLES full body massage ......... now let's get somethin straight ...... me and sara are great friends but we aren't a couple and she has a boyfriend who she claims she is in love with and i have no problem with any of that but why she would sign us up for the couples full body massage and FREAK OUT when they the massage ladies assume were a couple !! lol and then they tell us their gonna leave the room while we undress each other ..... i am laughing hysterically because sara is tellin them she has a boyfriend back home and their lookin at me like well what the hell are you doin here with this guy and so on........ she convinces them to hang a curtain for her to undress behind . she also convinces me not to peek lol anyway 5 minutes later were both naked lyin face down on a bed gettin rubbed on ....... the lady giving my massage was from the phillipines and she knew what the hell she was doin ( mental note to self : order a bride from the phillipines who knows how to massage ) the whole massage felt great except for one point when i thought she was gonna break my arm but other than that i loved it . and for all you pervs out there there was no happy ending . bummer . what i did learn was apparently sara REALLY does not want me to see her naked ...... LMAO next time don't ask me to tag along for a couples massage then !!!! i am sworn to secrecy to not tell her boyfriend .....


; this highlight has nothing to do with me or my friends but it has to do with a banana and .... so they have a contest to determine who can dance the sexiest with a banana in their hand and this contest had a suprise ending let me tell you that much .......ofcourse the young girls were gettin up there freakin with the banana and alot of them were pretty good too . they even had a couple of the guys give it shot ( i made sure not to get thrown into this contest ) but then came the final contestant ........ a tiny 70 year old asian woman ...... listen here my friends , they turned on the music and this grandma transformed into the dirtiest , naughtyiest , striptease grandma to ever walk this earth right before our eyes !!!! the things she did with that piece of fruit had to be illegal in some states and i really think she was a stripper in her younger years ........ lol to top it all of she slowy peeled the banana and yep you got it , grandmilf deepthroated the fucking banana . PRICELESS !
contest over , winner = grandmother of banana porn dancing

; my last little highlight could have turned out to be REALLY fucked up for all of us but now that it's over i find it pretty funny ......... well it's time for us to pack up our bags because in the morning vacation is over and we get off the boat and head back home ........we still got a decent amount of weed left and sara who has been on a cruise before insists that that all you have to do is go thru a metal detector and then no more security . yep you know what is coming ...... the weed goes in my jock ....... we go to check out thru miami customs ...... and we almost make it ......... until one of miami's finest strolls up with his drug dog who immediately starts sniffin my crotch . ..... i look at the cop who is lookin right back at me and i know whats about to happen ...... come with me sir ............. ouch those words hurt and with him i went along with sara and jenifer ( corn already checked out in front of us ) he takes me to the border patrol set up in the back and takes me to the back room .......... then he says the all to familiar line " do you have anything on you that you shouldn't be carrying ? " ....... i might have been dumb enough to try to sneak some pot over the border but i'm smart enuff to know when i'm caught so i reply immediately " why i sure do " and hand him the bag ....... all the while i'm prayin that i don't have to get a cavity search because i'm quite sure i wouln't appreciate fingers up my ass ........ he thanks me for bein honest and starts searchin my bags after he pats me down ( no cavity search thank god ) he tells me since i was honest and didn't cause him any trouble that i would be slapped with a $500 fine ........ i tell him that his dog is really smart and i gotta use an atm machine cause i don't have any more cash on me and he hesitates at first but then agrees to escort me to an atm ........ which is all the way back on the ship !! by the way i am fighting the urge to ask to have my picture taken with the dog ( i was pretty stoked on not having to go to jail )
so here i am being escorted back onto the ship with robocop's hand on my shoulder and i keep hearing " hey there's the guy from the dance contest " and a group of ladies actually stopped us to tell me that they still think i should've won . maybe they didn't notice that i was about to be placed under arrest ?? the cop looks a little confused by all this so i fill him in on how i almost became a hairy chested champion . but none of this mattered to me at that moment . here comes the icing on the cake folks ........ remember the pierced cutie that i kept my eye out for but never ran into again UNTIL the end of the trip ?? well fate would have it that as soon as me and robocop hit a flight of stairs we look up and there she is coming down the stairs , carrying her luggage , still by herself , still looking incredibly attractive except this time we lock eyes and smile at each other just for a few moments and then she looks back once and disappears into the crowd again ........ robocop decides to state the obvious " i think she liked you " ........ i am silently kicking myself in the ass for the next 45 minutes ........ anyway i get to the atm and pay the fine and i discover that sara got searched too just for being with me and lo and behold she had a dimebag in her bra ......... so an hour of threats and $1000 dollars later they release us into the country to start our 20 hour drive back home ...... good thing i still had a couple joints i left in the car for the long ride home hahaha ............. lesson of the day ; don't brings drugs into the country , i aslo learned that now whenever me and sara leave or enter the country our names will pop up to be searched everytime ......and i'm still hopin none of those involve a cavity search ............ best vacation of my life who wants to come next time ???????
by the way i posted some pics but i my camera was actin stupid so when i get the rest of the pics from my friends i'll post'em up for ya to see

damn i haven't had a chance to get online lately been waaaay to busy !!!! the friday before halloween me and my buddy went down to U of I to hit up some halloween parties and get plastered and from what i remember we accomplished both tasks ..... his sister actually goes to school at the college and has an apartment out there so we had a place to crash ..........she took us to all the bars out there showed us where the parties were at it was a helluva time !! i swear after 11pm that whole town is drunk because it's basically all college students so the streets are full of the alchohol impaired ........we partied friday and saturday then drove back home on sunday to nurse our hangovers......... i put some new pictures up of us all gettin drunk before one of the halloween parties ........ after that escapade instead of gettin rest i had to pack my bags and drive 4 hours to bedford , indiana for some training for work .......... it usually sucks goin out there but i actually managed to have fun , me and a bunch of the other trainees kept finding different bars to go to out there plus it's only a half hour away from a big college in bloomington , indiana so there's plenty of bars out there...... what does suck is the you sleep at the training site and they give eveyone a midnight curfue so if you aren't back you won't be able to get thru the gate ......... anyway i aced my class ( suprised the hell outta myself ! ) so i'm now certified to remove asbestos which is cool cuz theirs a big demand for those workers in my area and not alot of people in my union hall want to do it because the whole asbestos can kill you thing but fuck it i say bring it on !! plus you'll be fine as long as you do it the right way so play it safe and you got nothing to worry about anyway............. so after that week of training i come back and i have to pack my things again cuz me and my friends are leaving for our vacation 2morow !!!! were driving to miami and from there gettin on a cruise ship to the bahamas !!! we had this planned for almost 6 months so we all been lookin forward to it !!!! and on that note i still gotta pack my shit so see ya in a couple weeks everyone !!!!!

Happy sweetest day ??? not for me it's not ! these romance holidays don't mean shit if your single and yes i'm being pissed off cuz eveyone i know is spending today with " that special " some one " and i'm on the damn computer ..... actaully i been kickin myself in the ass after last year cuz i did something really stupid ............ lemme start from the begining ...... in 2002 i met this girl and she was the coolest girl on the fuckin planet ( or atleast thats what i thought ) we started dating and we ended up getting engaged in 2005
( yeah i know bad choice when your as young as i was ) we were both crazy about each other , we had the same group of friends , and everyone just knew that we were the couple that was really gonna " make it " we were living together and after bein engaged for a while she really started to treat me like shit , take advantage , and i'll admit the i let her do it because i thought i was in love and i tried to understand that bein engaged at our age might scare her so yeah she pretty much did what she wanted when she wanted and i was cool with it . i figured she would get the jitterbugs out and things would return to normal........ HELL NO THEY DIDN'T !!!! one day i was at work and her cousin calls me and tells me that i'm being cheated on , i'm too much of a nice guy to put up with that kind of shit blah blah and to be honest deep down inside i knew what was happenin i just didn't want to admit it ya know ? so i call my fiance' to get the story straight and this bitch tells me that i work too much , i should know that she needs more attention than what i give her because i can't give her no attention while i'm at work ( no shit she had no job so i kinda HAD to work ) i have no plans for the future , and yes by the way i'm been fuckin like 6 different people for the past 3 months !!!! WTF !!!! and i'm at work when she tells me this so i can't do shit about it until i get off ..... i don't want to go into all the details but needless to say she moved wit some guy and i moved back home feelin dumb a hell ...... there is a few more details o that story but i don't feel comfortable talkin about them cause it makes i feel like a naive idiot everytime i even think about any of this ......... so fast forward to april 2006 ....me and a friend start actin like were a litttle more than friends which is cool cuz i've known her for a couple years and she's always been a sweet girl who shows consideration for ohers , EXTREMELY attractive , shares the same taste in music , pretty much an all around great girl ...... we start dating and after awhile we both start to fall for each other HARD ........ then one day i remember how great i thought my ex fiance' was and how terrible i felt when everything ended up the way it did ........ i remember being cheated on with 6 diffrent guys ......... i remember being told that my fiance fucked guys in our bed while i was at work .........i remember feeling used and being laughed at for letting it happen ............ so my dumb ass decides that i'm gonna cheat on this awesome girl that had never done ANYTHING to hurt me in anyway ....... i still had mad feelings for her but i was afraid to let the same thing happen and i had never cheated on any girl before because i know that shit is wrong so i told myself i would do it one time and never speak a word of it and definately never do it again ,....... so enter sweetest day 2006 ....... my girl was with her family in mexico until november so i figure now is the perfect time andshe would never find out and what she didn't know couldn't hurt her because i had no intentions ever hurting this girl ( and i still don';t ) so i call this girl that i wasn't even really attracted to but i knew she wanted to hook up and we go out and i acomplish my one nite stand cheating mission ........... and we leave it at that , her and my girlfriend din't know each other ( but she knew i had a girlfriend) and everyone goes back to their normal life .......... well in january my girl starts actin like she's losing interest and i belive in karma ( what goes around comes around ) so i already know i'm about to get what i deserve ( by the way i never told her about me cheating and i felt SOOOO guilty about it i knew i didn't deserve a girl like that anyway ) lo and behold she tells me that she has lost interest in our relationship and it's not because i did anything wrong thats just how she feels .......... i was crushed and sad but i knew i deserved it . we stayed bein good friends but eveytime i see her and we hang out i think of what a great girl i lost because i was so selfish ....... she knows that i'm single and kinda pessimistic about findin someone and she always reassures me that a great guy like me should have no trouble findin someone and she gives me all these compiments that i don't even deserve because i was in the wrong ........ and i still don't have the balls to tell her the whole story ...... she really thinks she broke my heart but she doesn't know that i deserved it ......... and that is why i kick myself in the ass this year because i fucked up last sweetest day last year and lost a great girl who was really one of a kind and i been single ever since .......... to all those guys out there who got hurt and might be a little pissed toward the females think before you act or you could really regret the choice you make whether the girl finds out or not cheatin ain't cool ..............to all the girls whether single or taken have a happy sweetest day from this guy who has learned his lesson to the fullest !!!!!!

to work overtime or not ? to be or not to be ? first of all i'm new to this site so lemme introduce myself . my name is Joe ( i hate it way too plain for me ) . i'm a union laborer apprentice and although i don't know a whole lot for the most part i really do like my job . i used to play with the Tonka truck toys when i was little so working constuction is pretty cool ( although some days are definately better than others ! ) i work at this B.p. oil refinery in indiana been there for a little over a year now . the whole union thing is pretty cool i work with alot of country boys from southern indiana and lemme tell you they are fuckin crazy ! never have i heard somebody use the phrase " what in the corn bread hell ? " until i got this job lol anyways i just came off overtime ( 12 hours a day 7 days a week WTF ! ) and although i had no life the money was awesome ! i saved a shitload and i'm about to pay off my truck and november 6 i leave for the bahamas ! ( had it planned for awhile ) anyways i'm about to go to constuction school for a week ( mandatory for apprentices ) to learn how to remove asbestos and when i come back from vacation i can keep my job and get a 2nd job at the same place to work the weekend again ( it sounds dumb that i would want to work the weekend but here's why ....... monday thru friday any work after 8 hours s time and a half , saturday is all time and a half , and sunday is all double time ! and regulary i make almost $30 an hour so it's well worth it ! ) i'm livin with my dad and sister's right now and i'm 23 so i think it's time i start lookin ahead cuz i don't want to live at home forever ! the job would only last 4 or 5 months and then i would just be on 40 hours again and i could really use the money to save up again to buy a house ( don't want no apartment ) but do i really want to go back to working those kind of hours again especially in the winter! ( we work outside ) i can't make up my mind !!!!!!!!!! only time will tll i guess ? .....

this is just a lil sumptin i wrote last october when i was havin some lady trouble last october ....i like writing little abstract stuff like this kinda helps to me to vent a lil bit know what i mean ?....anyways i was just reminiscing about those times today so here it is ..........

Pandora's Box

So secretive that smile of yours

never showing what it hides

those eyes you flash entice me so,

begging me to solve your riddles

yet this shattered crystal ball has failed

will you remain a mystery ?

it seems that only time will tell

until your actions show me otherwise

so watch as i stumble thru this maze

Lost in your masquerade of emotion

will i find my way out ?

although the pieces to this puzzle

are scattered out of place

I'm afraid I must admit that it seems

I've been down this path before

but where it led me , I cannot recall.........

Maybe theres something about you

that I just can't let go of

as you dance circles around my heart

I stand alone , mouth full of broken glass

And I realize , I still don't have a clue