Dumb Massachusetts Laws


A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)
It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (MGL Chapter 272 section 86)
It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. (MGL Chapter 272 Section 80D)
It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. (MGL Chapter 149 Section 129B)
It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. (MGL Chapter 129 Section 35)
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed October 2000)
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
Public boxing matches are outlawed.
It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine...

Dumb Massachusetts Laws


A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)
It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (MGL Chapter 272 section 86)
It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. (MGL Chapter 272 Section 80D)
It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. (MGL Chapter 149 Section 129B)
It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. (MGL Chapter 129 Section 35)
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed October 2000)
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
Public boxing matches are outlawed.
It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
You may not curse inside the city limits.
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.

It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.detailsFull text of the LawChapter 270: Section 5. Giving, selling or delivering alcoholic beverages or drugs to hospital patients; possession.

Section 5. Whoever, except under the direction of a physician, gives, sells or delivers alcoholic beverages, as defined in section one of chapter one hundred and thirty-eight, or a narcotic drug to a patient in any hospital who is suffering from inebriety or from the effect of inebriety, or from excessive use of narcotic drugs or from the effect of such use, and whoever has in his possession within the precincts of any hospital any such beverage or drug with intent to convey or deliver it to any such patient, except under direction as aforesaid, shall be punished by a fine of not more than fifty dollars or by imprisonment for not more than two months.
Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol.
Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.

Boston

it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
It is illegal to play the fiddle.
Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.
No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.
Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.
It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.
An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.
Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.
Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.
No one may take a bath without a prescription.
It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
Burlington
You may not walk around with a "drink".
Cambridge
It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk (section 12.16.100).
It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday. (section 12.20.030)
Hingham
You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible.
If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
Hopkinton
Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
Longmeadow
It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
Marblehead, Mass.,
it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
Marlboro
It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
Silly string is illegal in the city limits.
One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.
It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
Milford
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Newton
All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
North Andover
An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
Woburn
In bars, it is actually illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand. (Repealed)
In Salem, Massachesetts
sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
Southbridge, Massachusetts,
makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.