I had classes today and yesterday. They seemed like they could be useful but more importantly they made me feel like I'm accomplishing something, like I'm working towards something instead of just treading water. So its only a start but hopefully this will go somewhere next time. I made more progress towards setting up my business too. The website should be live in a month if all goes as planned.

Sometimes I really hate St Louis. We had a storm and it took out some generator or some shit like that and we didn't get power back for a while. And by a while I mean 4 days. Four fucking days. Thats just insane. It always takes so incredibly long for them to fix anything here. Its like no one is trained to react to a disaster so we get something like some wind and some rain and everything breaks. We don't even get natural disasters here but the slightest severe weather occurs and everyone freaks out. No power was driving me totally insane too since I'm basically constantly using something that requires power. I sleep with music on (only thing that gets my mind off of everything else in my life long enough I can wind it down and sleep) and I tend to have light on for whatever else I am doing unless I am watching a movie etc. So I spent the last 4 days totally pissed at everything with all of my traditional outlets (video games, movies, reading a book, sleeping, listening to music, bitching online) were seriously cramped. At least its back now but I would kill myself if I went Amish. Its not that I can't go without technology its just that I for the most part would rather not. Its fun to go camping or hiking etc but you plan for those things and purchase specific items to help them. And there we have it.

Biggest news recently is that I saw mc chris in concert again. I love his shows. He's just a big funny nerd and that is totally great. Plus both times I have seen him I have gotten to talk to him briefly and he has been really friendly and down to earth. Like he's still kinda shocked he has a career doing this. And mad props go out to him for his attitude to filesharing. I was going to buy his old CD but he was sold out. And he was like oh yeah sorry we're sold out. So I was like oh no big deal I already have it I was just going to get a copy for my girlfriend here (who was standing next to me). And he's like just burn her a copy. To me that is the best. I mean obviously I was a fan and I mean I was at a concert so obviously I support him but it was still just a great attitude. Its really nice to hear the artists supporting that. And I bought a t shirt and a copy of his new CD so I still helped him out. The venue was terrible though. We were way overfilled and there was no A/C going so we were just sweating bullets. Other than that its pretty much been work and awkward flirting with this girl I like at work so there we go.

My brother is home so thats a good thing. There are a number of projects we have been working on together that we can dive back into now. None of them are interesting enough to talk about except of course for those I'm maintaining secrecy on so no one beats me to it. I'll let you all know once I find out some info about patenting it (at which point everyone will be summarily unimpressed) but until then its just gonna sap my time.

Busy in a very non-busy way. Just sort of generally spending way too much time at work and stuff like that. I feel incredibly unproductive. Hopefully this will change.

I'm off from work today and tomorrow so thats pretty awesome. I'm going to a They Might Be Giants concert with my girlfriend tomorrow and thats even more awesome. That reminds me that I really ought to add them to my favorite bands. I mean I own like 10 of their CDs and have really liked them for a long time so I have no idea why I didn't list them in the first place. I'm going to have to expand that list sometime soon. Other than that I've just become thoroughly addicted to reading Transmetropolitan and am eagerly awaiting the last part of the series to arrive from Amazon.com

I have no idea if I have posted about this before here but its applicable at the moment so I've decided to talk about it now. I have come to the conclusion that only 3 kinds of girls can be interested in me / flirt with me.

Type 1: lives very far away from me. Most of my serious girlfriends have lived in California which is problematic since I haven't lived in California since I was two years old. The long distance thing has been very difficult on me a number of times and as a result I have completely abandoned it barring someone comes along that changes all the rules.

Type 2: is underage. For no apparent reason underage girls seem to have a thing for me. Granted they might just have a thing for anything that breathes and is male since they are just starting to recognize their sexuality and all that hooplah but since I work in a mall I see a disproportiante amount of underage girls and become very awkward about the idea of them flirting with me since although some are far more developed than their age would indicate none are worth going to jail for.

Type 3: is in a serious relationship. Now this is the one that really gets me b/c for whatever reason it always catches me off guard. I'm not sure if I lack an ability to discern when people are actually flirting versus just being friendly but I'm fairly certain I haven't just dropped the ball on this one. I can't count the number of times I've flirted with a girl for hours over multiple occasions (typically girls who work in other stores in the mall) only to find out she's married. In fact 3 of the girls I flirt with at Hot Topic are married and I swear they flirt back. So either I'm delusional (which I in no way deny is a possibility though I am inclined to believe that if I am in fact delusional it does not apply to this particular issue) or I'm just easier to flirt with when the girl is dating someone. At the moment though its an extra fun problem b/c I'm developing a fairly serious crush on a girl who is pretty serious (though from the sound of things quite unhappy) with her boyfriend. To further complicate matters she is an employee where I work and I am a manager so even if she broke up with him I'd still be unable to make a move.

Well I'm not sure any of that made sense but I think it did to me. I even tried to make paragraphs which is something I am notoriously bad about not doing so um yay for line breaks.

addendum: do I desire the things I can't have b/c I can't have them or do the things I want just become unavailable as part of some greater cosmic joke?

I think I'm going to go back to school next year. Just Community College this time but at least that way I might complete a degree. I'm not sure how the classes I've taken translate into what they offer so I can't tell yet how close I am to getting a Comp Sci degree there but if its close I might go after that and if not I'm going to take some business classes. I just feel like I could start my own business and do it right. Thats been the best thing about where I work now is I see all these things they try not working and I see them driving away employees and customers and I try to figure out how I would reverse it if I could. Obviously, I can't here but I plan to start my own from the ground up someday. I guess its just the problem solver in me. I always try to fix other people's problems (though I never have a clue about my own). I just hope that moving into business will increase the scope of my meddling enough that I can have a real impact at some point on more than just a few people. Or this business idea will fail like the last one

Today at work I got my 9,000th call asking when the movie Ong-Bak is coming to DVD. Now normally I don't mind being asked when a movie is coming out but since its a foreign movie no one seems to believe me when I say I know what it is.

Me: How can I help you?
Idiot: Do you know when Ong-Bak is coming out?
Me: We don't have a release date for that yet.
Idiot: You probably haven't heard of it its this foreign movie.
Me: I know the one you mean and we don't have a date yet.
Idiot: Here let me spell it for you O-N...
Me: No I know how to spell it and we don't have a release date for it yet.
Idiot: Its this martial arts movie and its spelled O-N-G-B-A-K
Me: We don't have a release date for it yet.
Idiot: Can't you just like look in your computer and see when its coming?
Me: I am looking at it right now and we don't have a release date yet.
Idiot: But it was in theaters like months ago and other stuff that was out after it you already have a release date for.
Me: Yes thats true but we still haven't gotten a release date for Ong-Bak.
Idiot: ok well I guess I'll call back later.

I got this call twice today. I've had it a number of times before. Its like somehow they think b/c its a foreign movie I can't possibly know that information off the top of my head. Its gotten to the point where when they start to disbelieve me I just say here let me check to make sure and I'll just set the phone down for a moment and do something else while I pretend to check then I pick it back up and tell them that in fact we still do not have a date for it. At which point they spell it for me again as if somehow they have more knowledge about it than I do. I just don't understand why they call me if they think they know so much. If I'm just some clueless employee than why the hell are they asking me? So basically I hate my job.

The last few weeks finally caught up to me and put me down for a while. I couldn't sleep at all one night b/c I was just too stressed to be able to hardly even lay still. Then I worked 9:30 - 5 that day and came home totally exhausted and slept for like 17 hours. So my schedule is completely obliterated but I am starting to feel a little better. Work is as usual becoming completely insane but its almost a good thing at this point. I really like my Store Manager but really hate everyone above him so I'm staying on until they fire him and every week it starts to look like thats going to be really soon but something changes to push it back. So right now I'm just using as much of my sick and floating vacation hours as I can since I really doubt I'll be here much longer. As much as I hate the job though I hate looking for a new job even more so we'll see how that goes I suppose. Hopefully, I'm back on top of thing and will be able to be on here more but its tough to tell. Damn the insomnia.