So my mountain man has returned to climbing cell towers his favorite profession. Every year as soon as it gets truly crappy out he starts climbing very tall ice cold sticks for fun I just do not get it. And it has really started to look like winter here its beautiful really. We got about 4 inches of fresh snow not that much really it all very dry so it blows around quite a bit. It is however just enough to make all the retarded drivers here very scared so they do 20 in a 60 when its not even slick out yet. Learn to drive in snow or stay home !

LOL

I havent been on in a while dont have internet access in the little trailer we are living in while we build our house honestly I dont really miss it with all I have to do however I definitely missed this site. Fall has hit & is gloriously full blown in vibrant array of reds, oranges and golden yellow I do not honestly remember any other fall being quite so spectacular in its range of colors however it has also been a rainy sloppy mess. I awake every morning to the sound of rain hitting aluminum and i am amazed that i find this to be the most beautiful i have ever heard the rain sound who'd of thunk this crappy little trailer would give me such a gift. I unlike most people I know love the rain I think its refreshing and cleansing so what if it is also melancholy that is part of its charm all I want to do is curl up with a book and a good cup of coffee, half the time I dont even read the book I stare out the window for hours lost in the rain the clouds and my own thoughts. I do suppose that I am a little melancholy myself today my significant other and I have been fighting for about two weeks now and last night he told me to leave just shut up and leave, he didn't care for my attitude.The thing is that if I would have said the too him he would have come unglued and started hitting things, of course I didn't leave since I was completely trashed however this morning I am really wondering if I should just move out, move on it would be so easy the hard part is always staying and working things out...do I want to work it out? That is the real question or I am just going with the flow settling because I'm 28 and worried I'm not going to do any better....could be true....or am I just being lazy walking away with out fighting for what I want. Hmmmmmm

ok so not like I was ever very good at keeping up with this blog shit anyways but I haven't posed in forever too much going on where to start...I am no longer the person who asks you all the dumb questions when you show up I am now the person in charge of the people asking dumb question whoop whoop!!! I have 10 clinics with 53 employees talk about a lot of work holy shit! But lets get real here you don't get anywhere in life unless you are willing to work your ass off for it, figured that one out at 15 thank god I am a quick study...I had an employee (while off the clock at our local brewery) ask me how did you get this kind of job at 30? I said well I am only 28 so I am not sure what your talking about LMAO I have been busting my ass with this hospital for 5 years and before that I busted my ass as well so don't know what to tell your grumpy underachieving 50 year old ass pick up the slack and smile pretty while you do it cause you aint going nowhere sad but true I would have been way nicer but the chick has been giving me and others shit for so long it is seriously getting old and it felt fucking good to get it off my chest not sure how well it will go at the office but fuck it she's a short timer now anyways. In other good news we are finally making progress on our house after 6 months of red tape and jumping through various county fire ringed hoops life is going good power and propane are are ran in the trailer, we will be digging the septic and house foundation next week hallelujah lord praise Jesus and all that happy horse shit man what a fucking shit fest it is when you don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to grease mother fucking political palms sorry ranting a little here I know but you have no idea how much this suuuuccckkks. Also yes hmmmm I think I posted this already but I don't care... I got engaged give it another whoop whoop lol God I love my red headed Montana mountain man best thing that ever happened to me there wedding is next Sept been looking at some shit and holy crap is this shit expensive I am now trying to talk him into the justice of the peace then kick ass honeymoon not sure its going to work but a girls got to try. Also amazing thing Fall is in the air here in Montucket holy crap you can taste it, my favorite season fuzzy sweaters, wood smoke, hot coco and leaves of all colors. Anyhooo thats it for now folks don't know how much more of my own yapping I can endure

I had my wisdom teeth pulled on Friday and I have to say it went a lot better then I expected it to but man they cut up the corners of my lips like you wouldn't believe its so gross I have scabs and bruising looks like I was assaulted, apparently even with the meds they give you for conscious sedation I was not happy about some one working on my teeth. The best part of the whole thing was just about making a lady throw up out side the drug store while picking up my meds. My gauze was soaked with blood and my mouth was full of it I didn't want to swallow any more of it so I started spitting it out and it was all chunky gooey stringy and just sick lol so there I am leaning out the car door spitting all this out and I can hear this gagging but I can't look up cause I have this long string of gooey blood that I cant cut off my fiance started laughing and the gagging got worse then I heard "Oh my god how gross look at her" and I started laughing and man did that hurt but I couldn't stop. I must have looked really crazy sitting there blood everywhere laughing half choking on it cause its so thick. lol my fiance said a woman two cars over got a look at me and just started loosing it then her kids saw me and freaked I am surprised no one called the cops in this little town of mine.

I have been reading the book Cell by Stephen King an author I love for his vivid details I have always been able to form a real life version of his books in my head look at the story from every angle and really see whats happening just like you would a movie and although this book is not any where near his best work i would have to say this is one of my favorite quotes of all time.... At the bottom you see, we are not Homo sapiens at all. Our core is madness. The prime directive is murder. What Darwin was too polite to say my friends, is that we came to rule the earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle.....Now I believe in God I believe in Creation but with this book you really can SEE and FEEL the Darwin evolution theory in play. Its cool.

We finally got our septic approved last Thursday and we're working on the CAT this week to get it going so we can dig the septic and foundation. I am actually starting to feel the changes that are happening in my life and it feels good! But the trailer is still totally fucked it has leaks everywhere cant figure where they are coming from the whole thing may end up being a loss not sure yet will know more in a couple of days hopefully. I honestly think we could have the walls on the house up before we move into the trailer. Dan did a draft of the outside of the house and I am so happy we have the same thoughts he likes my inside design it took me six drafts and its been hard having to have the first floor totally handicap accessible but we have a winner. It will have a day light basement with laundry room-mechanical, man cave, space for our greenhouse/garden starters & room for storage, first floor fully handicap accessible with one bedroom/bathroom kitchen and family room then the second floor which will have the master bedroom a 3rd bedroom and space for an office seems huge to me but the whole thing is only 30x36 its really not big just a lot of floors. Three acres for the garden-greenhouse some fruit trees, chickens & maybe a pig or two...hopefully one step closer to being self sufficient and our little fairytale coming true (with a lot of sweat some tears and a lot of long hours).

The Bitterroots are still covered in snow and probably will be until the end of June with the snow fall we had this year its the coolest thing in the world when its 70 out and there's snow on the mountains!!! The sun is shining and its amazing out finally, we had a rough winter but spring is finally here. I cant wait to hit the mountains for some hiking, camping, and rock peckin!!! We cant get to any of our good spots yet they still have 4-6 ft of snow but on days like this you can feel it.

I have always been torn about Mothers day, I like a lot of people out there had a really shitty child hood when I was four my mother married a psychotic abusive alcoholic & had three kids that neither of them really wanted. she finally left my stepfather when I was 13 then my step father died when I was 15 and amazingly enough left some money for the kids but lets be honest life could have been a lot better if my mother had just had the guts to leave a bit sooner I spent a lot of my life raising three small children that where not mine and when I finally left at 18 I took my new found freedom to the extreme my mother and I still have a very strained relationship and I have never believed Mothers day should apply to her but I non the less let my younger siblings who thankfully do not really remember much of our little hell talk me into it every year and here we go again.

This has been an odd couple of weeks full of self discovery I am in love with one of the most incredible men ever and he asked me to marry him...and I said yes (this is only surprising if you know me well and you don't which is kinda the point) I never thought I would get married shitty child hood and all that normal crap BUT and I was very surprised to find this out about myself now suddenly its all I can think about! the dress (it has to be perfect) the local (it has to be perfect) the food (has to be really yummy) the photographer and on and on I guess I really am a girl lol But luckily the man I am marrying knows me and thank god loves me enough to put up with all my weird ranting at all hours of the day and night & I put the wedding off until next year to have some time to get the house built and save up some money and do it all the way we really want now all I have to do is figure out how to get Hillstomp to play at the reception LMAO
Dream Dress